The Patchwork Hearts

Chapter THIRTY

Holden

"Well, at least this lasagna is delicious," Eddie says, after taking a few bites of our dinner.

   It's thirty minutes later and the four of us are sitting at their big dining table. We are eating off my mom's nice plates, but the take out containers are spread across the table. Landon is basically shoveling food into his mouth.

   "It's really good," he agrees.

   "Don't you feed him at your house, Holden?" Eddie jokes.

   "I bet your lasagna would have been better, had I not forgot the timer," my mom tells her fiance, and he winks at her.

   I'm eating, because my stomach was growling all the way to the house. But I'm not talking. I know that if I do, I'll spit out the fact that I saw not only two people from high school at the restaurant, but also Maya Becker. And that is not a dinner conversation. That is not a conversation to have when Eddie is around. He doesn't know very much about any of that. I'd rather Landon not know about my newfound obsession with Maya, either.

   I drop a little piece of a dinner roll to the ground, for Honey, and she eats he as fast as she can. Once I've cleared my plate and I see that everyone else is mostly finished, I get up to start clearing the table. It was always my job, growing up. I do it out of habit now. Landon takes another piece of lasagna and keeps eating, but I bring all the other dishes to the kitchen. My mom follows me.

   "You're quiet."

   It's an accusation and I don't like it.

   "I was eating. I was hungry," I tell her.

   She nods, then goes to the sink to rinse some of the plates. I start loading the dishwasher, and we are both quiet. I can tell she wants to tell me something and there's so much I have to tell her. I have always been open and honest with her and it won't change now.

   "So, you don't want to know about my breakfast this morning?" she finally asks.

   I close the dishwasher harder than needed. "I wasn't going to ask."

   A smile spreads across her face. "It was so nice to talk with her. She seems to be doing well."

   "Oh, that's good."

   "There was a bit of conversation about... the past." There's some warning in her tone, like I should brace myself. "I asked her to come over for dinner, with Nella and her daughter, her husband...Maya didn't seem to think it was a good idea."

   "I don't know why you think that is a good idea, either," I spit out.

   "Holden Michael," she warns me again. "I told her that I promised Louise I would stay in touch and make sure her and Nella were okay. I told her that too many years have gone by, and now we have a chance to-"

   "To what? Bring up the past again? I don't think - no, I know - I won't be able to handle it," I interrupt.

   My mom stares at me, because she was not expecting that reaction. She wipes her hands on the towel hanging from the oven and then looks at me again. "If they will let me, I want to be in Maya and Nella's lives. I love you Holden, but it has nothing to do with you."

   I swallow hard. She's wrong and she must know that. "It has everything to do with me."

   "Not this. Not me wanting to stay connected to my best friend's daughters. That is not your business."