If I Didn't Have You

12

I forgot to post cuz I'm somewhere but I'll update another time around 4pm CET :)

Warnings:
-None

Clay's POV

I looked at Sapnap who was making a car sound while feeding George. George was really happy and giggled a lot while Sapnap fed him his favourite baby food taste.

George was teasing Sapnap every now and then and turned his head away when Sapnap moved the spoon closer. He got so excited that he turned back after a few seconds while hitting his hands on his table, making a lot of happy sounds.

'Hey! I was even making a train sound and you just look away!' Sapnap exclaimed with a smile.

George was quiet, waiting to see if Sapnap was mad at him or not, but when he saw Sapnap's smile, he started giggling even louder. He opened his mouth and Sapnap was about to give him another spoonful as he closed his mouth and hid behind his hands.

'How dare you!' Sapnap yelled, laughing loudly after that. I wheezed and couldn't stop smiling because I found it so cute.

George moved back again and opened his mouth, this time to eat again. He was hungry and ate a few more bites while Sapnap made more car noises because George found it funny.

He ate the rest of his food and Sapnap grabbed a bottle with apple juice. 'Do you want a few sips? You like apple juice, don't you, Georgie?'

'Appe uce!'

I smiled and Sapnap put a little bit of the juice in a cup, holding it in front of George's mouth after putting a straw in it. George sipped a little bit and smiled happily when he finished the cup.

Sapnap immediately put the cup away and washed George's hands with soap and cleaned his mouth. He washed his own hands a few times to make sure there wasn't anything on them. I felt secure enough, but still put on my gloves to make sure I wouldn't have an itchy skin all day.

'Do you want to play now? Maybe Clay want to walk with you too this time?'

George's eyes immediately went to me and he looked at me with a hopeful look in his eyes.

'Of course I want to. What do I do?'

'You just hold his waist and put his legs in front of the other. He sometimes wants to jump and then I lift him up. You don't have to do it, don't worry!'

'No, that's fine. Can I hurt him?'

Sapnap shook his head. 'Just hold him and he won't fall.'

I nodded as my answer and Sapnap lifted George up. I grabbed his waist and George was trying to jump up from happiness. He kept bowing his knees softly while making happy sounds.

I leaned forwards and grabbed his leg, lifting it up. I put it in front of the other and noticed he was trying really hard to move his other leg. I held him tightly and Sapnap noticed it too, looking at George's leg. He moved it just an inch and sighed softly.

I smiled and helped him put it further which made him squeal from happiness. I let him walk for a few minutes, but he let himself fall down on the floor when he was tired. He sat down and smiled at me.

'You did such a good job!'

He yawned and held his stuffed animals tightly, putting his thumb in his mouth.

'Do you want to play?' Sapnap asked as he sat in front of George to hold him since he was falling down.

George made a soft and happy sound again, which Sapnap figured was a yes.

'We will play, but then I'll bring you to bed! A handsome boy like you needs a lot of sleep!'

He giggled softly as he fell down, rolling to his stomach. He started to play with the blocks on the floor, but he was too clumsy to actually build something.

After a while, Sapnap and I started building while George laid on his stomach with his pacifier in his mouth. He just looked at us building since he apparently enjoyed watching that and made happy noises every now and then.

Not long after we built a tower, George closed his eyes and started falling asleep because he was really tired. Sapnap carried him upstairs and laid him back down in his crib, pulling the sheets far over his body to warm him up. George fell asleep very quickly after that and I went to Sapnap's room.

'I hope you don't find this very boring... this is just my life and maybe it's weird to you to be here,' Sapnap whispered insecurely, looking down at his hands in silence.

'It's not boring at all, don't worry! I enjoy being here and focus on something else than the constant pain in my stomach,' I answered him with a smile. 'I never had friends either and I just really want to get to know you.'

Sapnap looked at me with a smile and sighed softly. 'I'm more complicated than you think... and I'm so scared you'll leave me when you get to know what kind of person I actually am.'

'I won't, I promise,' I smiled. 'I know I can't promise such a thing before knowing what's going on, but I know that I wouldn't leave someone because of mental illnesses or whatever is going on.'

'I have so many things I'm hiding from everyone and I don't even want to think about it so I immediately push away the thoughts. I don't even want to admit things to myself...'

'It's okay, you can talk about it at YOUR time. There will be a time you're ready to tell anyone and even if there's never a time you're going to be ready then that's fine too. I want to get to know you and if you feel comfortable you can tell me and I can help you. If not, I will still try to help you as much as I can without knowing what's wrong.'

'Thank you,' he whispered. 'Maybe I'll be ready one day. I've just been damaged and hurt so much in the past so I'm trying to build a, imaginary, wall. I don't want anyone to pass through that wall again and hurt my feelings. Maybe I'm sometimes a bit harsh, but not to George. George has a soft spot in my heart. He always listens to me even though he might not even understand.'

'George is a great guy and so are you. I'm here for you, I promise you.'

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