A New Secret - Quackbur

Chapter 11

Wilburs POV
Quackity excused himself and went off to Dreams room. I was about to follow him but he said he wanted to be alone.

I felt so... I can't think of a word to describe it but it's horrible. I felt like I was failing him.

"you doing okay?" Techno grabbed my shoulder. he wasn't a feelings type of guy, so him noticing something means it's obvious.

"been better. I feel like I'm losing him..."

"well, he is missing his kid so... understandable?" I could hear how hard Technoblade was trying to help. I actually appreciated his efforts.

"yeah, but I'm here too... he still has something. I'm important too!"

Techno looks to the side awkwardly. he seems to be debating his next set of words.

"Wilbur, as your brother..."

"yes?"

"sigh... I can't say this without sounding like a jerk but..."

"but what? I have reason to be upset. after everything we've been through together and apart, we've been there for eachother. but now he's trying to do this alone and- and how am I supposed to... well how am I supposed to take that?"

"Wilbur, does Quackity love Philip?"

"of course he does! since we adopted them I almost never seen him without them!"

"then why are you upset that he is upset?"

"well, you would be upset if Dream was upset, wouldn't you?"

"yes. no! stop! Bruh, Quackity is allowed to be upset!"

"of course he is! but he should be letting me help him! I don't understand why there's a wall right now- I just can't! Technoblade I can't!"

"let him be! he's hurting! he misses Philip!"

"that's the problem! what if he loves Philip more than me? what if I'm just a face in the family photo so it looks complete?" my voice cracks.

I slammed my fist on the table and sucked in a deep breath. I didn't even know I was feeling all of this, but now that it's out, it's worse.

"Wilbur..."

"what if I'm not so important to him anymore?"

I wiped my eyes harshly to be rid of any tears that could be threatening to escape. I couldn't let Technoblade see me cry.

I couldn't let anyone.

without a word, I just left and tried finding Dreams room. I didn't care if Quackity was going to ask what's wrong with me, I just wanted him.

I didn't replace him. I love him. I need him.

I walked right in and heard his cries in the corner. I quickly shut the door and stood before the shorter.

he immediately noticed my presence. his eyes were red and tear stained when he looked up at me from the floor.

"Wilbur!" Quackity quickly got up and trapped me into a hug.

with no hesitation, I hugged him back as tight as I could. I couldn't let go. he would be gone if I let go. I can't let go.

hands were delicately placed on the side of my face, pulling me back to reality. I looked down to my husband. by XD did it pain me to see him weep.

"I miss them too..." he said, his thumb rubbed the salty tears off my cheek.

I haven't realized I have been crying. I'm realizing a lot tonight.

I pulled him back in and we fell to the floor. I rested my head on his shoulder and cried. I let it out.

I felt pathetic and weak.

someone such as me crying over the idea of not being loved more than a child, while my lover is actually hurting over real problems.

his fingers combed through my hair as I made circles on his back with my thumbs. he sniffles as he finished crying.

I wanted his touch. I needed to be grounded. I needed to know that he still loved me.

I pulled my head up and looked him in the eyes, my vision blurred from bit just my poor eyesight, but my tears.

I put our foreheads together and tried to calm down my breathing, but it continued to stutter. it wasn't working.

Quackitys hands held my face gently as if I was glass. I felt fragile. maybe he was right to hold me to gently. I pulled him in closer, he was so gentle I thought it was too easy to let go.

"I love you..." I cried out.

"I love you too, Wilby." Quackity responded with a raspy voice. his thumbs rubbed my cheeks, still wiping away every tear that fell.

"no... no, I love you. I love you forever, as long as the sun rises..." I cried.

"I love you..." he whispered.

I closed my eyes.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..." my voice was coarse and barley audible. but Quackity understood. "Please..."

"what?" he was so quiet.

I kept repeating "I love you" and "I'm sorry." I'm sure he heard me, but I needed to make sure. I've said it now about a dozen times. when you learn to say something, you can't ever stop.

"it's okay..." Quackity tried to comfort me, but I knew he didn't believe his own words. nothing felt okay.

"I'll get them back. I'll get Philip back, and we are going to kill that bastard. I'll make sure he never hurts you again." I looked him in the eye and held his cheek. "that's a fucking promise."

a choked cry leaves him and it was his turn to be comforted. he put his face to my chest and I could already feel the tears soaking my shirt.

I drew circles and other shapes on his back, played with his hair, and placed soft kisses on his head.

we eventually got up from the floor, now dried up from crying and got in bed. we left no space between us. I feared if I let him go now he'd be gone forever.

"I love you. don't forget it, Soot. I love you." he whispered once we were comfortable.

"thank you..." was all I could get out. "I love you. I'm sure you're sick of hearing it by now."

"I know, idiot." he chuckles.

I started laughing too. it was a nice contrast to the sob moment we just had. we kept quiet like kids staying up late at a sleepover, giggling.

it made going to sleep much easier. I didn't feel that insecurity as much. Quackity can't lie when's he's crying. nor can I.

he says he loves me, and I believe him. I know he does. I'm still important to him. that's good.

"good night, my love."

I was going to make sure we got Philip back. then Quackity would love me even more.

I felt my eyes become heavy with fatigue and let myself sleep.