A New Secret - Quackbur

Chapter 16

I chose violence today.
Wilburs POV
"Hello my love."

"Hey Wil."

I sat next to Quackity and the room remained silent.

I felt bad he had to see what he just saw, especially with what's been going on. I don't even want to be thinking about it either.

I laid next to him, the bed creaking at the added weight. I stared at the rooms ceiling. arrows, a few knives, smiley faces, any clue to show you this is Dreams room.

there was more stuff written on the ceiling as well, but it was in the same language as the one on the potion bottles.

I reached for Quackitys hand and held it in mine. I brought it to my lips and placed a gentle kiss on his knuckle. I held his hand close to my chest, over my heart.

"I'm sorry for all this." I apologized.

"Wilbur, do miss Philip?" he suddenly asked.

I hesitated but answered yes. I didn't like where this conversation could go. the question was innocent and easy, yet it made me uneasy.

"do you want them back?"

"yes."

"do you think they're Alright?"

"I don't know."

"do you love them?" Quackitys voice cracked. I looked into his eyes and his good eye was glossy. "do you?"

"I-"

"Wilbur, you love our child, right?"

"Quackity-"

"you love them! you love our family! you love it! do you Wilbur?" Q cried.

I couldn't answer, only stare as tears streamed down his cheek. my mouth went dry.

"please Wilbur," he sobbed. "please tell me that you actually love this family!"

I just stayed silent. what could I say? I love Quackity. I do, so much. but this family? it's alright. it was fun at times. but I miss us.

Quackity shook his head and turned away from me. I knew I couldn't talk to him now. I missed that chance.

"Quackity..."

"is that all you can say? really?"

my eyes began to water and I slid off the bed. I played with the ring on my finger. Quackity and I made it when we first made it to the Valley. it matched Quackitys that was originally from Sapnap.

I didn't know how we did it, but we managed to make the gold rings color match Quackitys. it was a warm lava color that just made you warm to look at it.

I let the tears fall as I thought back to the Valley. everything was new but we had the comfort of eachother. we had Charlie too but he loved exploring enough where we had alone time.

it was so nice. I had him all to myself.

"I love you... I really do." I cried in a raspy voice.

"but do you love Philip?"

"I don't know. I think I do. but I don't know. I don't know how."

I barely knew how to love Quackity. it took me so long to even say I loved him. so much frustration and fighting to even consider it. and it was love you'd give to a lover.

Philip? I'm not sure.

Phil was odd at showing love when I was growing up. I never really understood it and now I don't know how to show it. I don't know how.

"I'm sorry! I wish I could but I feel so much envy! I worry that you'll love them more than me!" I cried. "I want to love them! I want this family but I don't know how! there's only so much I can give and I want you to have it all!"

all I could hear was his shaky breathes. my hands were trembling so bad.

"I'll get them back! I promise Quackity. I'll be better. I'll be fucking better and I won't fuck it up. I just need to figure out how."

the bed creaked again and Quackity slid down next to me on the floor. I didn't dare look at him. I felt vulnerable.

maybe this is it. I can't be what he wants so he's divorcing me now.

soft lips press against my cheek. I hold my breath and look at my husband. his eye bags are deep, his cheeks are tear stained and his eye is red and puffy.

I made him cry.

"do you love Philip?" he whispered.

I nodded my head as I choked back a sob. my body was betraying me. I was shaking so bad and wanted to breathe but I didn't dare let out a breath.

"you can learn. you did before." he reassured me.

he places his hand on my cheek. his thumbs gently wipes off any tear the streamed down my face. it's odd being the one comforted. we don't do this much. but the touch in the moment felt special.

I caught him into a hug and hid my face in his chest. I felt bad for probably getting his shirt wet but the moment would give me a pass for it.

his hands make circles and other shapes in my back. it's a small detail, but he is extra soft on the spot where my scar is. we both are careful where our scars are. it's loving how we both memorize parts of our bodies.

(get your head out of the gutter this is a moment where I'm in love not horny.)

I'm not sure what it was, but I felt something off. my stomach felt like it had just dropped and I couldn't pick it back up. an uneasy feeling was swirling in my mind.

I've felt it before, long ago. when I saw how Tommy was upset over finding out about me and Quackity. it was like when Quackity and I cried over the same feeling that plauged us.

guilt.

I've been able to be unapologetic. I didn't care for others except for myself and Quackity. I didn't care about anyone else, or anything.

as horrible as was when Las Nevadas was blown up, I didn't care much. I've blown shit up before, it was just another weakness to me. it wasn't mine yet anyways. I had Quackity and I could live off that alone.

"I love you..." I said when I had calmed down.

"I know, dumbass." Quackity answered sarcastically.

"fuck you."

"fuck you more!"

everything would be just fine.