perf*ct (boy × boy) ✔

sixteen: not good at people-ing

nathan dawson's pov:

I stole a glance at Gray Eyes while his focus was on the essay he was reading from the small screen of his phone. It was enviable how he could shut out everything else and just concentrate on the task in hand.

My mind was racing and there was no way I could finish reading even one essay before the class was over.

Liam was the only one who had come to look for me in the classroom, the only one who had actually wanted to be my pair and not just picking the last classmate left without one. The only one, until then. Gray Eyes had been late, which was unlike him, but as soon as he had walked in the classroom, he had chosen me. And that was.. Well, baffling. But also gratifying. 

Too bad he would soon find out what a horrible mistake he had made. I was the worst pair one could possibly get in a group work, thanks to my useless brain. And for some reason the thought of Gray Eyes finding out how dumb and slow reader I was, mortifyed me. 

"I could listen to the podcasts instead." Both Gray Eyes and Casper turned their gazes from their phones when I stammered those words. "I mean if t-that's o-okay for you."

"Yeah, sure." Casper shrugged, a small smile on his thin lips. We had both gone to Frostford High for years now, but somehow this was the first time he and I were having an actual conversation. 

"I like reading more anyway." Gray Eyes smiled warmly, the corners of his eyes cringing. When he looked at me like that, I somehow didn't just forget how to breathe, but my heart started thudding faster as well. I turned my gaze away quickly and started fumbling for my earbuds, just to hide how unbearably nervous he was making me.

I have a secret I haven't yet told anyone, and I'm not really sure why I wish to keep it that way. But the thing is that I don't give a fuck about genders. When I find a person I don't completely dislike — like most of the people — I crush on them regardless of their gender.

I guess I've just always been like that. I even thought it was the same for everyone, until I spent enough time with my straight friends and it made me realize that genders actually play a role to the majority of people. 

And so, knowing myself and my hopeless heart, I needed to have a conversation with Gray Eyes. I needed to tell him not to give me hope, because a) there was no way he was into me and b) he was simply out of my league.

I mean, come on, what would a smart, good-looking jock possibly see in a stammering human wreck like me? 

That was when I realized the class had ended and I hadn't heard a word of the podcast I was supposed to be listening to. Fortunately we made a deal that everyone would either read two essays or listen to two podcasts episodes before the next time. 

I shook my head slightly, when I realized how ridiculous my previous thoughts had been. I wasn't even crushing on him, so it was pointless to have a conversation about it. Besides, can you really imagine me saying something like that to him and admitting I could be into him? He was just being friendly and here I was reading more about it. 

"Want to have lunch together?" Gray Eyes hastened his steps until he walked on my side towards the cafeteria.

"Why?" We had just spent an entire English class together, so I found it hard to believe he wasn't sick of me yet.

"You really are difficult to make friends with." He chuckled nervously, making me halt momentarily. Then, when I realized I was blocking the hallway, I started walking again.

"It's not my fault I'm not good at people-ing." I huffed defensively. The silence stretched between us, before I decided to at least try to act like a human capable of basic human interactions. "Liam is coming too. He'd never f-forget me if I ditched him."

"Of course." Gray Eyes started grinning gleefully. I followed him to the lunch line, praying Liam would at least try to behave and keep half of his thoughts to himself.

When we took our seats by the table Liam was already sitting at, his eyes went round behind his glasses and I swear his jaw dropped. He wasn't good at hiding his facial expression, just as he struggled to keep his thoughts to himself. He was an open book. To everyone. At any given moment.

"You're the savior, right?" Liam asked, earning a frown from Gray Eyes. 

"I'm Solar. Clarke." Gray Eyes told him, a composed expression back on his face.

"I know who you are." Liam shrugged and opened his mouth to add something when two more people joined our table. Audrey Grace took the seat on my left, so that I was sitting between her and Gray Eyes, while Harper sat opposite Gray Eyes next to Liam.

"Oh, it's you." Harper glimpsed at Gray Eyes, while her cheeks tinted red. Well, it made sense that the second most beautiful girl in our school was into him. I wasn't sure what to feel about that so I just started stuffing food in my mouth.

"I heard you got a new job." Unfortunately Audrey Grace wasn't going to let me eat in peace. As my mouth was full, I just nodded.

"Why is this the first time I'm hearing about this?" Liam pouted.

"And why is Solar sitting with you guys?" Two guys, who I had seen hanging out with Solar at school and in the party, sat down at our table without asking for permission.

"Don't look at me, I have no idea." Liam shrugged. For some reason everyone turned to look at me like I had the answer to the question. I swallowed the content of my mouth, trying hard to come up with an answer. Shouldn't they have been asking Gra— Solar, I bet he knew better?

"I'm just trying to make new friends, in case I get bored of you two idiots." Solar tried to keep a serious face, but it failed and a wide grin spread on his lips.

"That makes sense." The friend with ginger hair and pale freckled skin admitted. He didn't introduce himself, but instead began savouring his meal looking somewhat disinterested.

"So, you're the new guy." Liam glanced at Solar. "You're gay." His eyes landed on the ginger guy next. "And you made our team win." Liam gave an approving nod to the third guy whose eyes were distinctively light blue. He was talking about the baseball game, that was major for some reason I don't really care to remember, where the guy made a home run.

"So Solar is known for moving to town, Johnny because he was the star player and me because I'm gay? Jeez, I've really exceeded myself." Kieran rolled his eyes, although a smile tucked up the corners of his mouth. "I'm Kieran, if you want to know another thing about me as well."

"You're the one who never shuts up." It was Johnny's turn to return the favor. Though he had a friendly smile on his lips when he said those words to Liam. "You're Audrey Grace and it's kind of impossible not to know that." That made Audrey Grace giggle. "You're the girl who knows how to throw a party." Johnny complimented Harper. 

"And you're Nathan Dawson." Johnny turned his focus to me and I was certain he would say something like 'Nicholas' twin' next, but instead he said: "Solar's new crush."

Solar almost choked on his drink, and I couldn't help but wonder how weird sense of humor his friends had.