perf*ct (boy × boy) ✔

forty-nine: does that make us popular

nathan dawson's pov:

"Can I come in for a second?" Mom peeked in our room, a line between her brows but a smile on her lips.

"Yeah, sure." Nicholas sat up on his bed, facing the door. I did the same, earning an offended glare from Blueberry, who had to move from my lap. He seemed to forget all about my horrible offence as soon as mom sat down on the edge of my bed and started petting his head absent-mindedly.

I was shot after all the stress I had had over dinner. I still couldn't believe how easily mom and dad had accepted the news of us dating guys. But then again, why shouldn't it have been easy? Our parents were cool like that.

"Promise me you'll be careful." Mom said softly, her voice sounding small and tremulous in the shadowy room. "There will always be people who won't accept you as you are. And as much as I'd like to project you from all harm, I know I'm not almighty. I can't always be there to keep you safe and it scares me to think that someone might want to hurt you. So, please, be careful, will you?"

"Yes, mom." Nicholas and I promised in unison.

"And if anyone gives you a hard time, you need to tell me or Jeffrey about it." Mom added, narrowing her eyes at us like she didn't really believe we would do so. "I love you, my perf*ct little boys."

Then she got up and hurried off the room, probably to hide the fact she was crying. I slumped back on my back, pulling the blanket to my chin and smiled. I couldn't believe I had once thought our parents only cared for Nicholas or that they thought I was just a failed copy of him. They clearly loved us both and Jonathan just as we were, so much so that I felt embarrassed of thinking they didn't. 

"Can I sit with you guys tomorrow?" I glanced at Nicholas' direction when he said that, finding him still sitting on his bed cross-legged and troubled.

Was my popular brother actually asking me if he could hang out with me and the others outcasts?

But then again, Nicholas wasn't sure if any of his friends would want him in their group once he came out to them.
I could see from his eyes, no matter how much he tried to hide it, that he was dreading the day they would find out. Yet, he had promised Anshil that day would come sooner rather than later.

°°°°

When we were sitting in the cafeteria, the room became oddly quiet. I lifted my gaze from my plate just in time to see Nicholas walking towards our table. Alex Crespo, Samuel and the rest of his group stared after him, their mouths hanging all but open.

It was so quiet I swear I could hear Nicholas' footsteps echoing in the cafeteria. All eyes were on him, like he was some sort of a celebrity, but he kept his gaze forward. Then he sat at our table, next to me. 

"Nathan said I can sit with you." Nicholas shrugged, looking around the table with challenge in his eyes. At first everyone was staring at him, not knowing what to say or do, but then Kieran broke the silence: "Welcome to the squad."

Audrey Grace started chatting with Nicholas about some essay they had gotten earlier the day. I realized that not just the most popular guy in our school was sitting with us, but also the most popular girl of our school had been sitting at our table for some time now. Did that mean we were popular?

I hoped not.

Just as it seemed like Nicholas' arrival hadn't caused any unnecessary drama, the cafeteria grew silent again. Yet again I looked around and it didn't take long before I found out the reason.

"Nicholas, did you not see us or what?" Alex Crespo slapped his hand on Nicholas' shoulder. He was grinning, but I could see a hint of hurt in his eyes.

"Nah, I just felt like sitting with Nathan today." Nicholas didn't lift his gaze from his plate, feigning ignorance. So, he hadn't told them yet.

"Uh-huh." Alex Crespo said and took the seat next to Nicholas. He was followed by Samuel, and somehow every popular kid seemed to have found our table. 

I could tell from the tension of Nicholas' shoulders that he was feeling uncomfortable, but if his friends could see it as well they didn't take the hint. No one was talking, except Audrey Grace, who tried to have awkward small talk with Samuel. I was counting the minutes, waiting for the moment I could escape.

"I'm not hungry." Nicholas noted dryly and stood up. He gripped his tray and turned to leave. Alex Crespo and Samuel changed looks, both frowning. So, they weren't clueless after all.

"Nicholas, wait up!" Alex Crespo hurried after Nicholas, disappearing from the cafeteria by his side. Samuel just shook his head and continued eating, looking like a beaten dog.

During the breaks I saw Nicholas twice. First walking alone, not lifting up his head to look at me when I muttered hi to him. I don't think he even heard me, and it pained me to see him like that. Second time he was having a heated argument with Alex Crespo, who kept asking: "What the fuck is going on with you?" And every time Nicholas told him to keep it down and that nothing was going on.

I was about to go to them, to tell Nicholas he needed to come with me, but Solar told me not to. "Let them talk it through."