perf*ct (boy × boy) ✔

thirty-two: someone to talk to

nathan dawson's pov:

"Hi." Audrey Grace greeted me. She looked into the carrier when I set it down, but didn't take long admiring Blueberry before turning her gaze back to me. "I wanted to see you, and your mom said you'd be home shortly."

"Oh, okay." I nodded, trying to look like her coming to see me wasn't the least bit unnerving. She was, after all, the most popular girl in our school and I'm pretty sure we still weren't real friends.

"Want to go for a walk?" Audrey Grace asked. I wanted to say no. All I wanted to do was to take Blueberry home, eat something and take a shower. I wanted to text with Solar and stay up late thinking about our almost-kiss. But it wasn't like I could tell her no or make her leave after she had made an effort to come see me.

"Sure, I'll just take him in." I told her and opened the front door. Jeffrey all but ran to the hallway and took Blueberry in with open arms, so I felt confident he would be in good hands. I put on a jacket and went for a walk with the most popular girl of Frostford High. 

"You and Solar seem to be getting along well." She pointed out. She had a playful glint in her eyes when she added: "Is he single? Harper has a crush on him."

"I don't k-know." I shrugged, looking down. I wanted to tell her that even if Solar wasn't seeing anyone, that didn't mean he was available for Harper.

"Okay." Audrey Grace seemed to notice my reluctance about the topic and changed the subject: "I haven't seen Nicholas in ages. How is he?"

"I know we're twins and all, but I'm really not the best p-person to answer that question." I shrugged.

"I miss him." Audrey Grace sighed, a wistful look in her eyes. Even if her legs were short, she walked so fast I could barely keep up. I think we've already accomplished that I needed to start exercising more. 

"But you ditched him." I pointed out, making Audrey Grace halt.

"Do you know why I broke up with him?" She asked, knitting her eyebrows. 

"No. As I said, we're not that c-close anymore." The thought made me sad, and I knew Audrey Grace wasn't the only one missing Nicholas. 

We didn't talk for a long while. We just wandered on streets while the last rays of sunshine turned to dusk. I still wasn't sure what Audrey Grace wanted from me and why she was with me today.

"He has changed so much." Audrey Grace broke the silence. 

I didn't answer, because it wasn't something that needed to be said out loud. Nicholas and I had started drifting apart a long time ago, and I wasn't always sure if I even knew the person I was sharing my room with anymore. Audrey Grace and Nicholas didn't hang out or talk at school like they used to. It went without saying that he had changed.

"And I know you're the only person who can really understand what it's like." She was finally giving me the answer I had silently asked from myself for an entire month. "I want to be around you, because you get what I'm going through."

"Okay." 

"It's not really my story to tell, but I want you to know that I didn't break up with Nicholas because I didn't like him anymore." Audrey Grace drew a circle on the ground with the tip of her shoe.

For the first time I realized she wasn't as confident as she made everyone believe she was. Maybe Solar did have a point: perf*ction was an illusion, and nothing was perf*ct if you looked close enough. Even the girl everyone wanted to date, to be friends with or to be wasn't as impeccable as she seemed to be.

"..until I realized you are so much more than just Nicholas' brother." The slightly breathless tone Audrey Grace used brought my focus back to her. "I tried to tell myself it was just because you look like him, but that isn't true. It's something else. The way you take care of Jonathan, like he means the world to you.."

"He does." I stared at her blankly. I was starting to feel like I didn't like where the conversation was going.

"..how you actually listen to people when they talk to you. Even when you don't, you make them feel like they matter. There's just something about you." Audrey Grace smiled. "You're not like Nicholas — at all — and I'm starting to see how good that is."

"Okay..?" 

"I know it's weird that I'm your brother's ex, but I think I like you. And I'd really like to go out with you." What was I supposed to say to that?

°°°°

Someone had already put everything together for Blueberry: he had a litter box in the toilet, toys all around the living room and water and food in the kitchen. There was even a cat bed in my room and a small cat three in the hallway. 

Jonathan was enamored with Blueberry, but it was nothing compared to Jeffrey, whose eyes lit up every time they landed on the new resident. Mom hadn't said a word about him yet, but she didn't have a murderous look on her face, so I had a feeling I wasn't in any kind of danger.

When I slumped on my bed, it took only a nanosecond before Blueberry found his place by my side. I petted him until he started purring and then reached for my phone. The first thing I did was to take a picture of us: me smiling from ear to ear, my hair still damp from the shower and Blueberry looking up to the camera, his eyes only half-open.

nathan: thank you for today. 

Then I added the picture, waiting for an answer. I'm not sure why I was so nervous over it. It was just a picture of me and my newly found favorite cat in the world.

Solar: It's you who I should be thanking.

Solar: You were my hero, remember?

I felt like my heart melted at that, and I couldn't have kept the smile off my face even if I wanted to.

Solar: He's cute.

nathan: just blueberry?

Solar: He's cute..

Solar: But you're divine.

nathan: ...that's a big word.

Solar: I know. 

There was something about Solar that almost made me believe him. I wouldn't be using the word divine, but I was starting to think that maybe I wasn't too bad after all. I had shown him my greatest flaws, and he still wanted to spend time with me. He still almost-kissed me. He still stayed up late to tell me I was divine. Not cute, but divine.

I would never be like Nicholas. There was zero chance of me being Valedictorian and I wasn't going to be praised by my grades. I wasn't going to be a captain of the Varsity team. I was nothing like him, but maybe I didn't need to be. And to think that I could be good enough as Nathan, well, that was quite something.

°°°°

I was in the zone and wrote like three chapters in a row, so there should be more updates soon. :) A fair warning though: there will be a lot of drama.