Her Mafia Brothers

Secrets

I pressed my back against the wall as hard as I could. There was nowhere else for me to go, but it wasn't far enough. Nowhere would be far enough to escape from the men that crowded me now, staring at me lecherously, alcohol and drugs flowing freely. Mom was at work and she'd left me with him. I'd begged her not to, but she didn't listen. She never did.

The men were all vaguely familiar; he'd brought them here before. Except for one man right at the back, a tall, blonde man who looked out of place in his suit. He was new. He was drinking with the rest of them, doing lines of cocaine and smoking with the others. He was watching me.

I tried to press myself into the wall as they came closer, step by step. He came first, leading the way. He always started the proceedings off, silently giving the others permission to touch me, despite my vigorous protests and desperate fighting. He reached out, the slimeball, and stroked my cheek; a tender gesture in other circumstances, but completely sickening right now. I fought desperately, trying to get away, trying to stop him from violating me. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. Sometimes he actually brought someone home who was more human than the rest and they stopped him. But no matter what, I never gave in. I never went down without a fight.

He took a cigarette out of his mouth and lowered it to my shoulder - punishment for fighting. I screamed, over and over again, a loud, desperate wail.

"Carrie! Carrie, it's okay, it's just a dream. It's not real, you're safe. It's just me, Alex. You're safe, Carrie. I promise."

I felt gentle hands on my shoulders holding me down. Had I been fighting him?

"Come on Carrie, wake up. There's nobody here, nobody is going to hurt you. You're okay."

Slowly I opened my eyes and blinked up into the concerned face of Alex. He was sitting next to me on my bed, his laptop abandoned on my desk, my drink and everything moved out of the way of my flailing arms.

"That was some nightmare you were having, Carrie-girl. Or was it more of a flashback? You were terrified, whatever it was."

I nodded, but stayed silent. I didn't want to tell him about the horrible scenes in my head. I was scared of revisiting them, if I did. But Alex didn't press me. He just sat beside me until I was calm again, held the straw to my lips so I could drink more of the diluted sprite, then when I said I was okay, he went back to my desk and back to work.

Not very much later, I knew I was going to be sick again so I swung my legs out of bed and stood up but the world started spinning and went black.

Alex caught me just in time to stop me hitting my head on the bedside table but I threw up all over both him and me. I don't think he'd ever been vomited on before because he looked very unhappy with the whole thing. I was waiting for him to get angry and hit me but he never did. He didn't even growl. He sighed in frustration though, and swore rather loudly, then muttered quite a lot only half under his breath. He carried me into the bathroom, set me on the vanity, stripped off his shirt and pants, and stood in front of me wearing only his boxers while he took off my pajamas. Then he wrapped the whole lot into a towel and sent the bundle down the laundry chute. I pitied the poor staff member who had to clean that up, but I was too sick to feel sorry for them for too long.

I rinsed my mouth like Alex told me to, he wiped my face with the washcloth, then he went to find me more pajamas. It was odd, seeing Alex clad in so little. Logan and Nick walked around shirtless all the time and even Rocco did occasionally but, outside of the pool, I'd never seen Alex in anything other than a tailored suit or smart-casual attire.

Like the rest of my brothers, he was muscular and ripped, and it was obvious he spent a lot of time in the gym.

I leaned back against the tiled wall and waited for him to return. When he did, he was wearing a t-shirt and jeans and he was carrying spare pajamas for me.

I should have been embarrassed, needing my brother to help me get dressed, but I was too sick to care.

Being sick and helpless wasn't a new thing for me, but being cared for while I was sick, was. Before, when mom wasn't spaced out on drugs and was a halfway decent mother, she'd usually had to leave me alone anyway, while she went to work. And if she was on drugs or drunk, she was often too out of it to even notice I was sick.

So I just laid my head against the cool tiles and let Alex dress me and tuck me back up in bed.

It was nice, snuggling into his strong arms while he carried me. When he put me down in my bed I didn't want him to leave me so I kept my arms wrapped around his neck and begged him to stay, and he did. He lay down beside me on the bed, on top of the blankets while I lay under them and he propped himself up on my pillows and I rested my head against the solid wall of his chest. His arm wrapped around me securely and held me close.

Every ten minutes or so he would urge me to drink a wee bit more, but other than that we just lay there together, watching Moana.

Never, in my wildest dreams, would I ever have imagined my scruffiest, impatient big brother watching Moana with me. Logan, definitely. He'd already admitted his secret love for Disney movies. But Alex? No. I could picture Jack doing it, but not any of the others. I smiled to myself, enjoying the attention of my big brother.

Alex must have read my mind.

"You better not tell the boys I watched this with," he said firmly, grinning down at me so I knew he wasn't grumpy.

"What are you going to give me if I keep quiet?"

"Nuh-uh little girl, that's not how it works," Alex insisted, shaking his head. He was still grinning though.

I lay back against him happily, and smiled.

"Well as far as I can tell, you're the one who wants something out of me, so I should get something in return." I looked up at him with an evil grin.

"Oh you'll get something in return all right little girl," Alex growled, but he was still grinning so I wasn't afraid. "Have you ever heard of death by tickles?"

"No." I frowned. I did not like where this conversation was going. I remember when I was little, before, he used to tickle me a lot, making me squeal with laughter.

"Spill the beans, and you'll find out whether or not it's possible."

Alex repositioned himself behind me, making himself more comfortable, and slung his arm back around my shoulders, hugging me to him.

"You like this movie, huh?"

"Eh, it's okay. For a kids movie."

"I'm telling," I giggled.

Alex pressed his big hand over my mouth.

"Shush little girl. Don't you dare. This is our secret."

I shrugged. "You're not the only one of my brothers who likes this movie."

"Yeah?" Alex sounded overly curious. "Who else does?"

I looked up at him smugly. "Not telling. It's a secret."