Kendra24th May
12amAs soon as I arrived at the hospital I was filled with nothing but anguish and haste.
I found it difficult to bring myself back to reality. I found it difficult to accept the reality I was in.
Shan had been involved in a car accident.
As her emergency contact, I was expected to remain calm and collected. I was expected to be level-headed and rational. But honestly, I don't know how well I'm going to be able to do that.
I have hated hospitals ever since my mother was sick. The constant doctor's appointments and checkups always made me feel so uncomfortable and nauseous.
Towards the end of her journey, I pondered on how different she looked.
How much life had been sucked out of her. I know it was all meant to help her but it's not like she survived anyways. I mean granted it was a drunk driver but she was still pretty fragile and frail. Sometimes I sit and wonder if there was any point in going to the hospital at all.
I braced myself as I went to the counter to ask for which room Shan was in.
I received the room number from the receptionist and I mentally prepared myself for the worst as I made myself to her room.
I couldn't lose someone else.
I couldn't lose Shanise. I just couldn't.
I looked into her window before I opened the door.
When I saw her and I let out a shaky breathe I didn't know I was holding.
An uncontrollable flood of emotions began to fill up my pupils and I just wanted to let it all out.
I rushed into the room and held onto her as tight as a possibly could. As I grabbed onto her I subconsciously silenced the noise of the outside world, including her voice too apparently.
"Kendra! Kendra! Kendra! Babygirl I'm okay"
I finally release my tight grip and conduct a full analyse of her. She really was okay! By the grace of God she only left the accident with a couple of scars on her face.
To be honest I'm surprised she's not more emotional about that. Shan and I have had countless conversations about getting her face scared or bruised. With her being a model it was completely understandable as to why she would be extremely distraught if there had been any unwanted alterations made to her money maker.
But yet when analysing her, I felt a sense of peace radiate from her.
I on the hand was still an emotional blubbering wreck.
With a face full of tears I say " I'm so glad you're okay. I was so scared that I had lost you Shan"
She hugs me tightly saying " It's okay. I know baby. I'm still here and I'm going to be here. God kept me". The next 5 to 10 minutes were filled with more " I love you's" and "I was so scared's", then appearance of the doctor put an end to our emotional session.
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