Back in time

A long night ahead chapter 27

Kendra

24th May - 2am

Darius' words left me feeling uneasy. Why would he bring up Jayden. And in such a cold manner at that.

We were actually supposed to meet up a couple of day ago but he never showed. It didn't even cross my mind that Darius or crew could've been involved.

Surely not. Right?

As D went to pick up the food from inside the restaurant I sat there consumed with my thoughts. I was trying to find different scenarios to explain the warning that had just come out of his mouth.

However, no luck.

Just then the car doors opened pulling me back to reality. D took his place on the drivers side of my car as he insisted on driving.

I took a moment and looked deeply into his eyes. This was the the man that I loved.

The man that I've been in love with since the tender age of 17. The compassionate, understanding and caring man that I knew like the back of my hand.

I knew Darius was all those things to me, but I also knew he could be the complete opposite to others. I never held it against him because I understood.

I was birthed into it and even he didn't know that. I don't know when the right time to tell him will be but it's not now.

"You okay Lani? You're looking at me like you've seen a ghost"

"Did you kill Jayden?" I blurted out.

He didn't move. He didn't flinch. He didn't react. His countenance was completely unbothered as if I had asked him what the time was.

"I asked you a question Darius"

"No Lani, I did not kill him"

As he answered my question I looked ahead. He started the ignition and began to pull out of the restaurant driveway.

"What do you want Darius ?"

"What do you mean?"

"What do you want from me? do you want a relationship? do you want a girlfriend? a best friend? what is it exactly that you want ?"

"In my eyes, all the titles you've mentioned fall under the same role. But it means nothing to me if you aren't the one that's playing it."

I smile internally because he sounds genuine. I believe his words because they've left an imprint on my heart but his actions fill me with an uncertainty that I can't shake.

"So why the dance and the kiss tonight?"

He sighed. I could sense how uncomfortable he was with my reaction. I wasn't shouting nor did I go to 'my diary of mad black woman' place. I just wanted to understand the thought process behind his actions. Or to decipher if there was one present to begin with.

"I don't know Lani"

"You do Darius. Around 24 hours ago we were in bed talking about our future, finally being together and re-writing our history. We were talking about going back in time to make right what was left wrong. Then you get a call about "business" I take second place, we argue, then I see you at your club opening dancing and kissing another girl."

He keeps his eyes on the road but I could see his mind wondering.

"Come on D, it's me. Why was it so easy for you to do me like that over one argument?"

We pulled into the hospital carpark and sat in a comfortable silence. He turned off the the ignition and looked me in the face.

I felt so exposed in that moment.

"Kendra, I need you to know that you could never come second to me. Ever since I met you I've been all about you. I may not always do my best showing it with my actions but believe me when I say it with my words."

"Darius, we're 24. Baby your words aren't enough anymore. Until you realise that, I don't think I see a real future for us. You always say your words mean bond but I haven't been seeing that lately. "

"You're right. I know I don't deserve you. Please believe me. I thank God everyday for bringing you into my life. I know I can be an angry nigga sometimes and I make a lot of stupid decisions. But the easiest thing I've ever had to do was love you. Yet for some reason I still keep messing up. Look I don't know what our story holds but I know we're meant to be together and nothing and no one can convince me otherwise. From that first day in show and tell. Just don't give up on me."

My heart was warm when he brought up that memory. I honestly can't believe he remembered.

I rolled up my sleeve and showed him my tattoo.

~ 04:05~

"Our birthdays?"

"Yep. I got them the summer you left I just never had a chance to show you. That was the summer I realised I was falling in love with my best friend."

At this moment my head was down as I was internally vomiting at the emotional sentiments that had just left my mouth.

In the next moment, he lifted my head up, looked deeply into my eyes as he came close and kissed me.

His kisses made me feel safe. I felt like time had stopped and we were producing our own constructs of time.

"I'm so sorry for hurting you Kendra. I was being petty and I never should've let it get that far with ole girl from the club. You're who I want. You're who I've aways wanted. You're my peace. You're my better half. I know that I don't deserve you but I'm going to spend the rest of my life trying to prove that I do."

"I forgive you my love. And I am sorry for overreacting and being a brat about your work. I know what you do and I know that comes with it. I just don't want to feel like I'm second place. I can't compete with that part of your life D. I'll never win."

"I'm not asking you to compete mamas. There's no comparison whatsoever. You take first place every time."

We lean in as he rubs his nose against mine.

"I love you Maurice."

"I love you too Lani"

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