What if they all lived?

Chapter 11

Some mention of violence/trauma

Tuesday, 5th October 1971

Sirius Balck

Sirius continued to wait, glancing about furtively every morning when the post arrived, hoping to get something from Reg. But nothing came. His late night conferences with James became more regular-even though Sirius didn't always know how to explain, and even though James didn't always know what to say, he was a good listener.

 The conversations made Sirius feel less lonely, and sometimes he could go the whole day without thinking about Reg, too caught up in planning pranks with James or frantically completing homework.

 He talked to James about the stuff bothering him superficially as if it was business. He still didn't want to scare the boy away and he didn't want him to connect all of his tragic stories to Athena, even if she went through it as well. He talked with her as it became more of a mutual check out. To see if they were standing strong, to talk shit about others and to talk about Reg. He still hadn't told her about Remus. He talked to Remus as well. The boy knew he knew, so he asked him not to tell anyone (obviously Sirius thought) and he laughed at him when he told him that he would find a way to make him read. 

As if he couldn't, he took it as a challenge.

Of course, there was always a crush of guilt once Sirius realized how long he'd gone without even wondering if his little brother was doing alright, especially considering his promise to keep in touch. (He sent one more letter, near the end of September, but when Regulus didn't write back, he gave up.) This only led to renewed attempts to keep busy, filling his every waking moment with activity so that he didn't have time to think about his family-or to think about how he was avoiding thinking about his family.

Luckily, there was no end to the distractions provided by Hogwarts. The professors were engaging, the magic was fascinating, and James was always at his side, ready with a quick joke. Even Peter got less annoying, keeping Sirius occupied with games of chess or exploding snap. But one of the best distractions by far was Remus Lupin.

 As always, this boy provided Sirius with an endless amount of questions and he took his time trying to answer them himself, it wasn't really productive. He was now going to the library often, and Thena wouldn't stop questioning him as to why. The girl seemed to live there, for Godric's sake, he couldn't find a moment to do his research in peace, so he gave up and ended up taking a bunch of books to his dorm, but of course, now it was James asking the questions. 

"When have you become smart?" He teased every so often. Sirius had to put a stop to that task for a second so it wouldn't be traced back to Remus. He really did want to keep his secret and he wanted Remus to start trusting him with more of them, as he was sure to have them.

Though he spent more time with them, the boy remained an enigma. He was excruciatingly private, sharing very little detail about his life, even when Sirius worked up the courage to ask a few simple questions, Remus would respond with one-word answers or wordless shrugs. He continued to periodically disappear into the castle on mysterious errands, often arriving back in the common room with only minutes to spare before curfew. Sirius watched him closely, trying to figure out what the quiet boy was up to-but he never could.

For the rest of the day, the boy was sullen and withdrawn. When they went to bed, he drew the curtains quickly, before any of them could speak to him. Sirius looked at James, raising an eyebrow-What d'you reckon going on with THAT one? James just shrugged, palms open in a helpless gesture-Your guess is as good as mine.

Lily Evans

Curtains pulled around her bed and notebook in hand, Lily was excited to talk to her dad. She hadn't been able to write in a week all while trying to at least understand the basics of how this new world she got pulled into worked, and was now taking her will out, which by the way, did these people not have pens?

Hello dad,how are you? and mom? and Petunia?

A moment or two passed but eventually her dad opened the notebook and wrote back. She watched as the lines of her fathers writing appeared on the paper and a smile appeared on her face.

Hello sweetheart. I was a bit worried. You used to write every day, it just was boring without talking to you, I love your sister but she talks either way too much or way too little. Your mom is great and your sister is constantly telling me about what the other girls at the school are wearing.

It gave her such a rush to have a piece of her home with her and to have to her father to talk about Petunia in a slightly unfriendly manner is the best. Her mom never let them talk about family like that, but in private they took quite a lot of joy in gossiping about each of them.

Athena Black

Thursday was one of those days when you could just take the first train and go back home. Athena never thought she would miss it, but now that she was not there, she couldn't help but be flooded by memories of the house, this was almost definitely because her brother wouldn't write back to any of her letters or Sirius.

She was now in Charms, not paying attention, thinking of the day they left for the train.

"Please.... please don't leave," Regulus was barely audible but she heard him well enough. He was talking to Sirius who had an unhonest smile plastered across his face, she knew because she had worn the same one.

"Come here," Sirius pulled his brother into a tight hug, having to hold back tears himself now. She couldn't remember the last time he had given Regulus a hug, she certainly couldn't remember the last time she did, Regulus didn't really enjoy touch. "I know you don't want me to go, and trust me I don't want to be without you either but we have to go. And you will go next year."

"I don't care that you're leaving" she remembered that one made her mad, she did care, she would miss him so much more than she thought she was capable of.

"Oi, you prick. What do you mean? Not going to miss your favorite sibling?" She had joked hoping to make her brother laugh or at least smile. She failed. Sirius did, however, smack behind her head and she laughed. "You can't leave me alone with them. They'll-" she knew what they would do if Sirius wasn't there to annoy them and take attention off them or if she wasn't there to take the blame for his mistakes. She was mad at him for only caring about that part, they were leaving for Merlin's sake, although how on earth would he ignore a thing like that.

"Let's not think about that," He replied quickly, "We'll write to you, and we'll be back before you even realize we're gone. You have to be brave. If not for you, for me, for Thena. It'll make me very proud to know my brother is the most fearless Black to have ever lived" Regulus didn't reply he just squeezed Sirius harder. He didn't hug her. "Children," Came her mother's voice from the bottom of the stairs. "Stay here," Sirius whispered and he went swiftly to her. She would never forget the temper her mother had that day, getting mad at everyone for everything. At the sight of him, her mother gasped. 

She quickly recovered and yanked him by the tie closer to her. She slapped him. Hard. Right across the face. Sirius looked up and blinked over and over, his cheek stinging. Athena bit her bottom lip hard, trying not to make things sworst like Sirius said she did when she yelled at Walburga. "If you wanted red cheeks all you had to do was ask," She hissed at him before raising her wand. Sometimes, Sirius told her, he would look in the mirror and not know if he was alive or not, the only sign had been his breathing. So he pinched his cheeks to bring color to his face. Either Walburga never noticed before today or she chose this moment to do so.

 Instantly his tie yanked at his throat. He choked and spluttered for what seemed like forever as he struggled to breathe. If their mother cared that she was hurting her son she didn't show it, but she never did. "S..s..t....top," He managed to get out. Curling the corner of her mouth up she raised the wand to fix his hair as he grasped his throat struggling for breath.

She felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up, took her face out of her palm, to see Marlene looking at her. "You okay?" "Yeah, sure" but she wasn't.

The rest of the day was boring, she wrote to Andromeda by muggle post and spent the rest of the day with Remus in the common room.