For The Love Of The Game (Book 1)

Chapter 21: Lighten Up!

It felt weird to me, as to just what it was that I was even doing right now, as I felt like my mother should be by my side right now, and that she should be telling me which things went where, all at the exact same time as well, such as it was that she always did when ever it was that we did in fact go to move in to a new place, as I knew that was what it was that I was in fact doing right now, even though I knew that my mother's 12 month lease had not ran out just yet, none the less.
That of course was why it was that my mother was not here right now, as a large part of that was due to the fact that she was at work right now, but also a big part of that, all at the exact same time as well, as due to the fact that she was still living at the last place that I had been living at with her, all at the exact same time as well, never the less, at that. I kind of felt bad for her, if I was not going to lie to my self, none the less, as I knew that all of what it was that was going on right now, just so happened to be all my fault.
Xavier had told me not to view it the way that I was, all at the exact same time as well, as he had in fact told me that every thing was in fact going to be okay, none the less, and he had in fact also told me that my mother knew as to just what it was that she was signing up for, as I knew that she was going to have to pay a 2000$ fee for the fact that she was moving out of the place so early, all at the exact same time as well, none the less.
I felt quite a bit bad for her, as I knew that she did not have that kind of money on her, all at the exact same time as well, but Xavier had in fact told her, luckily enough, that he would in fact help her with all of that, once it was that she did in fact move in with us, all at the exact same time as well, as that was of course where it was that I was moving in to, all at the exact same time too, as I knew that I was moving in with Xavier right now.
My mother was not going to be able to join us, until it was that she got off her 2 weeks notice at the places that she worked at right now, and she found some new jobs near where it was that we were in fact at right now, as I could tell for a fact, that this was in fact a lot worse of a place in Chicago than it was that I had in fact lived at before, all at the exact same time too, as I breathed in quite a bit heavily to my self all of the sudden, as I did my best to try to keep my self as calm as I felt like I possibly could, once again.
I kind of shivered either way, as I then all of the sudden began to start to dribble the basketball, that of course was in fact signed by DeShawn Glass, all at the exact same time as well, all the way up the steps, all at once, as I looked around me, just to make sure that no one was going to sneak up on me, and try to kidnap me, or kill me, all at the exact same time as well.
Just as I began to start to dribble off of the pavement, and on to the side walk, that was when I then all of the sudden heard a loud beep, that did in fact startle me quite a bit, all at the exact same time as well, as I kind of jumped back quite a bit, all at the sudden, all at the exact same time as well, as I did my best to try to keep my self as calm as I felt like I possibly could, as I looked over to just what it was that had in fact made the loud noise.
To no such sort of surprise what so ever, none the less, I noticed that it just so happened to be Xavier's car. You should think that I should get used to the loud beep at this point, as to how many times he came to my mom's place, to come pick me up, all at the exact same time too, but that simply was not the case what so ever, as this time it did in fact seem to frighten me just a bit, as I felt like that was due to the fact that I was already scared, and I was waiting for some thing to freak me out at any point.
I did my best to try to keep my self as calm as I felt like I possibly could, all at the exact same time too, as I then all of the sudden began to start to turn my head back over to the place that I was about to head in to all of the sudden, as it just so happened to be Xavier's place, all at the exact same time as well, as I kind of let out a bit of a soft sigh of some relief to my self, all of the sudden, as I got my mind, and I got my focus off of all of the rest of those other thoughts that I had been thinking on long before now, once again.
I saw Xavier looking at me with quite a bit of a goofy little smile on his face, all at the exact same time as well, as it did in fact seem to relax my nerves a little bit, for at least the time being, as I did in fact go right on ahead and begin to start to head over to him, just as it was that I had in fact been doing long before hand, none the less, as I knew that all I had needed, all at the exact same time as well, was of course the fact that I needed my basketball from out of his car.
Xavier kind of rolled his eyes over towards me, and he then all of the sudden began to start to nod over to me, all at the exact same time as well, which I was in fact quite a bit confused as to just what it was that was even going on with him right now, all at the exact same time too, as I did my best to try to keep my self as calm as I felt like I possibly could, as I just kind of stared at him, all at the exact same time as well, with quite a bit of a blank look on my own face.
That seemed to be good enough for Xavier, all at the exact same time too, as he then all of the sudden began to start to go right on ahead and he began to start to go right on ahead and speak to me, all at the exact same time too, as I did in fact begin to start to listen as to just what it was that he even had to say to me in the very first place any ways, as soon as it was that he did in fact do as such a thing, once again.
"Calm down kid... It's not as bad as you might think... Every one here is broke... We all feel the same pain..." Xavier said to me, all at the exact same time as well, as I kind of just stared at him with a little bit of a blank look on my own face still, as I still was not all too sure as to just what else it was that I should really do, nor was I all too sure as to just what else it was that I should really say back to him, all at the exact same time as well, none the less.
It seemed like Xavier did not care, and he did not expect me to say any thing back to him what so ever, all at the exact same time too, as he then all of the sudden began to start to turn his head away from me, all at the exact same time too, as he then all of the sudden began to start to go on ahead and turn his head over to the front door of his own place, all at the exact same time as well, as I really was not all too sure as to just what it was that I should even say back to him, either way, at that, none the less.
I kind of just began to start to breath in quite a bit heavily to my self, all at the exact same time too, as I then did in fact begin to start to follow him in to his own place, all at once, as it looked like a mess from the out side, so I had to assume that it was going to be ugly, and that it was going to be a mess from the in side, whether that be from Xavier not taking care of his place, or the place just being nasty its self.
I kind of just got my mind, and I got my focus off of all of the rest of the other stuff that I had in fact been thinking on long before now, as I knew that he had taken my clothes, and all of my other stuff to the room that I was going to stay in, earlier today, once it was that he had in fact came back from all that was even going on at the place that he was at in Florida, all at tbe exact same time too, as these were apparently his big plans that he had.
I still was not all too sure as to just what it was that he was even thinking on, on the fact that he had told me that he had an easy spot on a basketball team as it was right now, and he had told me that he could even be the coach of the team, all at the exact same time as well, as he had told me that he was good friends with the owners, and the principle of the school, once again, as he had told me that he had in fact been given an offer the coach the team, and be a gym coach, none the less.
It was for sure a lot more than it was that he was getting paid with what it was that what ever he was doing right now, all at the exact same time as well, as I felt like I was happy for him, and I was excited for him, all at the exact same time as well, just as much as I was in fact excited for my self, as I could not wait to have a chance to be on an actual basketball team, all at the exact same time too, once again, as I then began to start to breath in quite a bit heavily to my self, once again.
I kind of just stood there, and I more or less just got my mind, and I got my focus off of all of that other stuff that I had in fact been thinking on long before hand, as I then all of the sudden began to start to hear a loud bark of what seemed to be a very big dog in the place right beside us, just as it was that I had in fact made it to the front door, all at the exact same time as well, as just as it had been before with the car beeping, that dog barking loudly did in fact startle me, all at the exact same time as well, none the less.
I kind of just all of the sudden began to start to turn my head back over to Xavier, all at the exact same time as well, as I was still a little bit freaked out by just what it was that was even going on right now, in the very first place any ways, but I did in fact begin to start to go right on ahead and begin to start to speak to him, all at the exact same time as well, as I was in fact quite a bit disgruntled by all that had even happened so far, all at the exact same time as well, once again.
I kind of just stood there for a little bit longer, as I then all of the sudden began to start to see him turn his head over to me, all at the exact same time too. He kind of tilted his head over to me, as it was clear that he was in fact quite a bit lost by just what it was that was even going on with me right now. How ever, in the end, he did in fact go right on ahead and thankfully begin to start to nod back to me, all of the sudden, to let me know that he was in fact paying his full attention on to just what it was that I was in fact about to go right on ahead and say to him, none the less.
I kind of let out a bit of a soft sigh of some bit of some relief, all at the exact same time too, as I then all of the sudden did in fact begin to start to go right on ahead and begin to start to say what ever it was that felt like wanted to come off of the top of my head, on the fact that I was in fact a bit afraid still, all at the exact same time too, now that it was that I did in fact realize that he was in fact beginning to start to listen as to just what it was that I even had to say to him, all at the exact same time as well, once again.
"Well... Thats easy for you to say... I am sure you grew up around this kind of stuff when you were younger... I'm not used to this kind of shit..." I said to him, all at the exact same time as well, as I kept a bit of a blank look on my face, all at the exact same time as well, as to just what it was that I had even just said to him, never the less. I was not all too sure as to just what it was that I had even just said to him, if I was going to be for real with my self, nor was I even sure as to just what it was that I had even been thinking.
That was of course until I then all of the sudden began to start to notice that Xavier then all of the sudden began to start to have his eyes squinted over towards me all of the sudden, all at the exact same time too, as I did my best to try to act completely normal, as if what it was that I had in fact just said to him was perfectly normal, and that I had not meant any thing else on just what it was that I had even said to him, which of course I had not meant any thing all that much on just what it was that I had even said to him, none the less.
How ever, I now began to start to realize as to just how it was that what it was that I had even said to him, all at the exact same time too, might in fact be quite a bit messed up, all at the exact same time as well, as I knew that him and his brother were in to a lot of gang shit, and a lot of drug shit when he had been a lot younger, all at the exact same time as well, as he had told me that he had quit when he had begun to start to take basketball seriously, but his brother had never quit, which was the down fall of his brother in the end.
I knew that this was a big area I was quite a bit sure of, for a lot of drug stuff, and I kind of felt a little bit bad for just what it was that I had in fact just said to him, all at the exact same time as well, as I was a little bit worried that it might be me bringing up his brother, all at the exact same time too, which he had told me time and time again that he did not like to talk about his brother, and my father all too much, all at the exact same time as well, just due to all of that stuff, as he felt like it hurt him, and he felt like he should have done some thing to get them to stop with all of that stuff.
I did not blame him for it, as that was the reason that I did in fact feel a bit guilty for it, all at the exact same time as well, as I knew that in the end, all of that stuff had in fact led to the death of his 2 best friends that he had ever had, all at the exact same time too, as I knew that I was an idiot for just what it was that I had in fact just said, all at the exact same time as well, as I kind of just had my head a bit low to the ground, as we stood by the front door of Xavier's place for just a little bit longer, as I could still hear the annoying dog barking in the back ground, all at the exact same time too.
I did my best to try to keep my self as calm as I felt like I possibly could, all at the exact same time too, as I then all of the sudden began to start to gulp quite a bit heavily to my self, all at the exact same time too, as I then all of the sudden began to start to go right on ahead and I began to start to hear the voice of Xavier, as it seemed like he now was in fact about to go right on ahead and speak back to just what it was that I had even just said to him, all at the exact same time too.
I lifted my head up, as I did my best to try to keep my self as calm as I felt like I possibly could, all at the exact same time as well, as I knew that I had not meant what it was that I was sure that he had thought he had meant, as I saw that he had his eyes squinted over towards me, all at the exact same time as well. I began to start to breath in quite a bit of a soft sigh to my self all of the sudden, as I then all of the sudden began to start to nod back to him all at once, to let him know that I was in fact paying attention to him, once again, none the less.
As soon as it was that I had in fact done as such a thing back to him, all at the exact same time too, that was when he then all of the sudden did in fact go right on ahead and begin to start to continue to speak to me, either way, as I then did in fact begin to start to listen as to just what it was that he did in fact even had to say to me in the very first place any ways, once again, as I more or less got my mind, and I got my focus off of all of the rest of those other thoughts that I had in fact been thinking on long before now
"Why? Is it because I'm a nigga?" He said to me, all at once, as I blinked my eyes a few times, all at the exact same time too, as I was quite a bit lost as to just what it was that he had in fact even just said to me, all at the exact same time too, as that was not at all as to just what it was that I had meant by just what it was that I had even just said, all at the exact same time as well, never the less.
For one thing, I was now all of the sudden quite a bit lost as to just what it was that I had even said to him for one thing, all at the exact same time too, as to the fact that I remember it being some thing about drugs, all at the exact same time too, but I for sure had not meant it based off of the color of his skin what so ever, all at the exact same time as well, as I kind of just began to start to breath in quite a bit heavily to my self, all at the exact same time too, as I did my best to try to keep my self as calm as I felt like I possibly could, once again, none the less.
I knew that I for sure was not racist what so ever, as I knew that all of my favorite basketball players, and pretty much all of my artist that I liked were all black, all at the exact same time as well, as I really had not meant as to just what it was that I had said as to the way that he might have thought that I had meant it, all at the exact same time too, as I was quite a bit freaked out by it, as I knew how upset it was that people got when ever it was that they felt like some one was racist.
I did my best to try to act as calm as I felt like I possibly could, all at the exact same time too, as I then all of the sudden began to start to widen my eyes, all at the exact same time as well, as I did my best to try to keep my self as calm as I felt like I possibly could in the mean time, once again. I stared at him with a little bit of a blank look on my face, all at the exact same time as well, until in the end, I eventually began to start to shake my head over to him, all at the exact same time too, to let him know that was not at all as to just what it was that I had in fact meant as to just what it was that I had even just said to him, none the less.
I kind of just began to start to dip my head a little bit low to the ground all of the sudden, as I was not all too sure as to just how it was that I was in fact going to get my self out of this one at all, all at the exact same time as well, as I felt like I might have screwed my self over, all at the exact same time too, as I felt like I was panicking quite a bit right now, when it was more than likely the fact that I really should not be right at this very moment in time too, as I kind of felt like I should be trying to keep my self calm.
As I stared at the ground for a little bit longer, in the end, I did in fact begin to start to lift my head back up to Xavier, all at the exact same time as well, as I was not all too sure as to whether or not as to if he was upset at me or not, all at the exact same time too, as I saw that he seemed to have a little bit of a blank, and quite a bit of an emotionless look on his face right now, all at the exact same time too, as it seemed like he was not really thinking on any thing at all, what so ever.
I kind of just began to start to breath in quite a bit heavily to my self all of the sudden, as in the end, I then did in fact begin to start to go right on ahead and I began to start to nod back over to him, all at the exact same time too. I wanted him to know for a fact that was not what it was that I had meant by just what it was that I had even said to him, all at the exact same time as well. I did my best to try to calm my self down still, as I just continued to look at Xavier right in to his eyes, after just what it was that I had in fact just done, none the less.
Xavier just seemed to be staring at me with quite a little bit of a blank look on his face for just a little bit more time. How ever, in the end, he did in fact begin to start to nod back to me all of the sudden, to let me know that he was in fact paying attention to me right now, all at the exact same time as well, none the less. That did in fact make me feel quite a bit better, if I was in fact going to be for real with my self, once again, never the less, to see him do as such a thing.
I felt like there still might be some sort of way that I could in fact save my self, all at the exact same time too. I began to start to breath in quite a bit of a soft sigh to my self all of the sudden, either way, as I did my best to try to keep my self as calm as I felt like I possibly could in the mean time, once again, none the less. I then all of the sudden began to start to go right on ahead and I began to start to speak to him, now that it was that I did in fact begin to start to realize that he was in fact beginning to start to listen as to just what it was that I even had to say to him, none the less.
"No! That is not at all what I meant by that! I just... I don't remember to be honest..." I said to him, all at the exact same time as well, as I just began to start to dip my head a little bit low to the ground, all at the exact same time too, as that kind of felt like that was all that I felt like I could in fact say back to him, as it was quite a bit of a weak response, if I was in fact going to be for real with my self, once again.
I just stared down at the ground for a little bit longer, as I could still see the same blank look on his face that he had before hand, as it was clear to me that he was not all too sure as to just whether or not he should in fact forgive me for just what it was that I had in fact even just said to him a few moments before hand, once again, never the less, at that.
I just felt quite a bit guilty by what it was that I had said, as I felt like, it made sense as to just why it was that he might have felt like I had meant it the way that he had thought I had, but that just was not what it was that I had in fact meant by it, all at the exact same time as well, as I just was not all too sure as to just how it was that I could in fact explain it to him, and I was not all too sure as to just how it was that I could in fact get my self out of all of that, all at the exact same time as well, never the less.
I kind of just stood there for a little bit longer, as I then began to start to see that Xavier was now all of the sudden beginning to start to turn his head away from me, as he began to start to open up the door that was in fact in front of him, all at the exact same time as well, as I felt like I should in fact be glad that he was in fact still going to let me in to his place, all at the exact same time as well, after the stupid shit that I had just said to him, with out even thinking a single bit on to just what it was that I had even said to him.
Once the door was open, I began to start to see that Xavier was in fact beginning to start to head in to the place, all at the exact same time as well, as I began to start to blink my eyes a few times, all at the exact same time too, as I did in fact begin to start to lift my head up all of the sudden, to join him in side of his place, never the less, at that. As soon as it was that I had in fact began to start to walk in to the house, that was when I began to start to realize that he had sprayed the entire house, as I began to start to sneeze, all at the exact same time too.
That was what it was that seemed like was going to break the silence, all at the exact same time too, as I then all of the sudden began to start to hear Xavier start to laugh very loudly, as soon as it was that I had in fact sneezed, all at the exact same time as well. I was a little bit confused as to just why that was the case, all at the exact same time as well. Had he thought he was funny by putting some thing in his place that would in fact make me sneeze?
I was not all too sure, and I was not all too sure as to just how it was that he was not sneezing to, such as I was, if that was in fact the case, all at the exact same too. None of it seemed to make all too much sense to me right now, as I did my best to try to keep my self as calm as I felt like I possibly could, as I then all of the sudden began to start to see that Xavier was now turning his head over to me, as he continues to laugh, and he had a big smile on his face, all at the exact same time as well, once again.
I kind of tilted my head a little bit towards him, as I was not all too sure as to just what it was that he felt like was so funny right now, all at the exact same time too. I kind of was just at a little bit at a loss for words, as I stood there for just a little bit more time, with the same blank look on my face that I had before hand. Xavier then all of the sudden began to start to shake his head over towards me all of the sudden, never the less.
As soon as it was that he had in fact done as such a thing like that, all at the exact same time too, that was when I then all of the sudden began to start to hear him begin to start to speak to me, all at the exact same time as well, finally, after me apology. I still was not all too sure as to just what it was that was even going on still, but I did in fact let out a little bit of a sigh of relief either which way it was. I then all of the sudden did in fact begin to start to listen as to just what it was that he did in fact even had to say to me, all at the exact same time as well.
"Relax kid... Lighten up!"