it's late, probably around 2am, i cant sleep one bit. i've literally just been sat with elliot for a while talking about everything. apparently he knew about me for years but his mom wouldn't let him do anything or see anyone. it's still so hard to believe i have brother 3 years older than me.
i check my phone seeing i just got a message off someone.
from billie,
come to your window a sec
i frown my eyebrows and climb out of my bed, pulling my bike shorts down my legs a little. i open the window and lean out of it a little, seeing her stood there. "what are you doing here?" i ask quietly.
"can i come up?" she asks, her voice all shaky. i hesitate but nod. she finds her way up to my room which is pretty easy to do with my window.
as soon as she steps inside i can tell she's been crying, her eyes are all puffy, she looks exhausted like she hadn't slept for weeks.
"why are you here bil" i ask softly, watching as she walks around my room for a while before sitting down onto my bed. she sighs and runs her hand through her hair. "i shouldn't of said anything to your mom before i'm sorry" she says, her voice sounding fragile.
"billie are you ok?" i ask, feeling very concerned. "what yeah i'm fine" she says, playing with her rings nervously.
"billie" i say not believing her for one second.
"it's ok just a little miserable that's all" she says, standing up again and pacing around the room. i grab her arm and stop her, forcing her to look at me. "are you still sleeping with elijah" she asks, making me sigh and look down at my feet.
i slept with him a few times after that party, it doesn't mean anything we both just like to let off some steam every so often.
"a few times" i admit. she sighs and puts both of her hands in her hair and then angrily throws her phone down onto the floor. "but it's not like that billie neither of us have feelings for each other".
"i dont give a shit, im fucking miserable, i cant sleep, i don't want to see anyone. i haven't spoke to my friends in weeks because i feel horrible for breaking up with you, i never wanted to do that, i still want to be with you, i still love the hell out of you. but your there fucking eli like you don't give a shit about me, like we didn't even matter" she raises her voice a little bit but still staying quiet enough for my parents not to hear her.
"i know i've been a dick, i know that. but when you said you don't love me anymore i fucking broke because i knew i fucked up so badly. be honest with me right now because i don't know if you were being truthful, do you love me?" she questions.
i walk away and sit down on my bed, running my hands through my hair as i sigh. she pulls up a chair in front of me. "you obviously know i still love you or you wouldn't be here" i say. she lets out a sigh of relief and closes her eyes letting out a breathe.
"why haven't you been sleeping?" i ask her softly. "when you know the girl you love is out fucking one of your friends it's kinda hard to get your mind to turn off" she says
i sigh and lean my face into my hands, "i'm sorry" i mumble. she takes hold of my hands and puts them back down in my lap, playing with my fingers a little. "you need to get home bil, it's late, you know you can't stay here" i say to her.
she sighs and stands up but instead of walking to the window, she climbs into my bed. i turn around and look at her, seeing her trying to pull me into bed with her. "let me help you go get to sleep first and then i'll leave i promise" she says.
i take a deep breath and nod my head, climbing onto the bed with her. she wastes no time to strongly pull me into her arms, i can hear her heartbeat racing as she holds me tightly.
"promise me your gonna be ok?" i ask, i'm so worried about her. i feel her nod, and kiss the top of my head before pulling me in closer. i grip hold of her shirt and breathe in her scent. i didn't realise i missed her this much.
