its 12am and im finishing up the last of my packing. i just had to do the worst thing i could of ever done and i cant think straight. honestly im just angry. i know that what i had to do was right for me, but now i have lost her forever.
i grab a spare phone charger and begin untangling but end up getting annoyed and throwing it across the room.
"billie, ok stop a second let yourself breath we will help you. stop trying to hide your emotions and getting frustrated with yourself" finneas tells me, as he kneels down in front of my legs. i put my head in my hands and take a deep breath.
"i really dont want to think about it or her, it will drive me crazy" i say.
"thats not going to work billie, you love her, its not going to just leave your mind in the blink of an eye" my brother tells me and rubs my arm to comfort me.
i left my head up and sigh, watching claudia put the rest of my things in my suitcases.
"i can just picture her face when i left, she was in tears. i feel like shit" i tell them both. finneas stands up and takes a seat next to me on my bed before pulling me into his arms. i bury my face in his chest and squeeze my eyes shut. he kisses the top of my head before my mom walks in.
"the cars here for us, we need to leave guys" she says, smiling. i know she doesnt want to bring up alissa to me and i thank her for that.
i stand up making sure i have everything and pull my stuff outside. the driver helps me put all my stuff in the car and i climb in the back. i shove my headphones in and lean my head against the window. tour here we come.
////// the next day
alissa's pov
i slowly open my eyes, the light blinding me at first but i soon adjust. its around 11am. to be honest i really dont want to get up.
billie would of arrived into the uk right now and will have her show in a few hours. i go on my phone and scroll through my instagram.
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liked by claudiasulewski, khalid and 102,000 others.
billieeilish i did a thing, see you tonight manchester💙 ALSO CHECK OUT MY NEW SONG BITCHES BROKEN HEARTS OUT NOW GO BUY.
comments
belltwins yesssss gurlllll billieeyelash omgggg
she dyed her fucking hair. her hair is fucking blue. and she suddenly has a new song. what the actual fuck. she looks hot with blue hair tho i wont lie. no shut the fuck up alissa. anyway.
i open up youtube and immediately find the song. i take a deep breath and begin playing it, her familiar voice fills my ears.
'you cant pretend you dont miss me you cant pretend you dont care all you wanna do is kiss me but what a shame im not there'
erm excuse me? dont even tell me this is about me. i make my way through the song and pull up the lyrics at the end.
'every now and then its hits me than im the one that got away. but i guess being lonely fits me and you were made for beginning stay'
WHAT THE FUCK BILLIE.
i throw my phone down onto my bed and groan loudly. im mad but i still miss her so fucking much.
my bedroom door opens and my parents come in. they both sit on either side of my bed next to me.
"were gonna get out of here for a bit, all of us. we are going to take a trip to tennessee for a few months to see the family. your principle said its fine before your grades are amazing and you have already passed" my dad says.
"it will do you good honey" mom adds and i nod. they are probably right. my dads family own a huge ranch/farm thing over there and have like 4 houses around it. its a good place to just think.
