Doomed

Broken

Y/N had cried herself to sleep. Her head nestled on Namjoon's bare chest. He had rubbed her back and made soothing noises to calm her down but nothing had worked. It was as if something deep inside her had ruptured- as if an old wound was unearthed and hit again.

When she woke up the next morning, sunlight peaking in through the curtains, Namjoon was tightly holding onto her. Still maintaining some distance between their bodies, his hand remained under her neck , the warmth of his presence healing her distress. 

Y/N got up gently, trying her best to not make any sound. She went to the washroom and looked at her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes were red, cheeks hollow, she looked tired, aged almost. She splashed some water on her face trying to bring back life to her ragged face.

When she came out of the bathroom some 15 minutes later, Namjoon was sitting up on the bed. He had put his shirt on and was texting someone. He looked up at her- the weakness evident in her slouching body. He wanted to hug her.

Y/N sat on the end of the bed facing him.

"I am sorry," she said meekly, "I don't know why it happened. It shouldn't have happened..."

He interrupted her, "You don't have to say sorry. Why are you saying sorry? It's normal."

"No. I should have done better. I promised you a hook up and then trapped you into spending the night with me. I owe you."

"Hey," he said moving closer to her, "You don't owe me. We planned on having sex. You didn't feel ok, we didn't go with it. That's it. It's normal. You didn't promise me anything nor did you trap me into anything. Whatever I did or didn't do was out my own will."

"But...you were not supposed to see me like this. That was not part of the agreement."

"We are humans Y/N, we are not robots. It's ok. Shit happens."

"Does that mean our deal is off?"

"Why?"

"Because I clearly can't give you what you want. I am not good enough for you. I am sorry," she said the last few words breaking down.

Namjoon moved closer to her and embraced her in a hug. They stayed there in silence, holding on to each other for a long time until the doorbell rang.

Panic rushed through Y/N's body. She knew the only person who could visit her at this hour would be Lin. If he found out that Namjoon was in her house, it would be over. 

"Please, don't leave this room," she said knowing that Lin would never come into her bedroom, "And don't make a sound, please." She left, closing the bedroom door behind her. 

Y/N opened the door as the bell rang for the fourth time.

"What took you so long?" Lin had a harshness to his voice. Gone were his charm and politeness.

"I was sleeping," Y/N said trying to  force out a yawn

Lin had made his way in. He had placed the file he had in his hands on the kitchen counter.

"Like this?" Lin said checking Y/N out from head to toe. It was then when she realized she hadn't changed out of her nightdress yet. Suddenly she felt very exposed, vulnerable almost. She crossed her arms on her chest and crossed her legs and stood there infront of him.

"That doesn't help," Lin said with a sinister grin on his face, "Oh  Y/N if only you had shown this much skin in your music videos! We wouldn't have to do this today. But don't worry we will get there soon won't we."

Y/N stood there like a mannequin - silent, numb. 

"There's your new diet. The cleaners will come this afternoon and sweep off anything in your fridge and pantry," Lin said tapping his hands on the folder, "They will stock your fridge with apples. You are allowed just one a day. Atleast for the next two weeks. The nutritionist will then do a check up and review your diet. And Y/N don't try and cheat because I will know."

She was standing in the middle of her kitchen, immobile. Lin had come closer to her. She kept on staring ahead towards her bedroom door as if she expected it to burst open. 

Lin had lowered his voice. He brought his face closer to her ear. Pushing her crossed hands down, he scrutinized every inch of her body. 

"Do as I say and you will be fine. Or else the entire world will get to see a lot more than I am seeing."

Tears trickled down Y/N's face. She felt disgusted. He hadn't touched her, but his sight was enough to make her throw up.

Lin left leaving Y/N standing like a pillar. She wanted to move but couldn't. She wanted punch him, stab him but all she did was stand there.

When the front door closed behind Lin, it was as if Y/N had gained new life in her limbs. She stumbled along the kitchen counter, through the hallway and opened her bedroom door. Without batting even a glance at Namjoon, she went inside the bathroom. 

She stripped out of the dress and frantically opened the drawers to find a pair of scissors in one of them. She took her dress and cut it into shreds, trying to silence her sobs. She looked at her naked self in the mirror.  Examining herself like Lin had. She saw what he wanted her to see. She felt undesirable, unworthy, beastlike. 

When she was done, she hoped in the shower. Her skin burning from where Lin had touched her hands. She stood under the cold water and let it drain on her body. Her legs unable to hold her up. Her head was spinning. The burden of the secret was weighing on her. She finally sat down on the floor, the water now hitting her back. The tears didn't seem to end. She knew she couldn't escape from this. She was so engrossed in her own thoughts that she didn't hear Namjoon's frantic knocks on her bathroom door.

It was when he opened the door that she looked up at his direction. 

(A/N Note: I hope you like it. Please vote. Love you.)