Doomed

Begin Again

Namjoon was literally punching the life out of Lin whose face was becoming bloodied by the minute. In between the beating, Lin was laughing, not an iota of remorse in him. It only infuriated Namjoon further. He just punching him harder, Lin's breathing getting shallower. Suddenly, Namjoon's hand was held back behind his back. He was heaving too, exhausted- both physically and mentally.

"Enough Namjoon-ah," Jin squated next to him slowly letting go of Namjoon's wrist. " The police is here. They will take it from here." Jin's voice held a certain authority that even Namjoon couldn't deny.

Namjoon slowly got up off Lin who groaned and squirmed on the floor. Jin held on Namjoon whose hand was bruised and shaking from the impact of the punches. 

"You get his treated. We will hand over the recording of the confession to the police. We will let you know what happens." Yoongi said assuringly.

~

It was three days after Lin's arrest. The recording that Jimin made on his phone of Lin's confession was handed to the police and Lin was under custody. Y/N's condition was stable. She was now breathing on her own. But she had refused to have any visitors. Keeping her mental and physical health in mind, her doctors had prohibited Namjoon or anyone to bother her. 

Even though he was not allowed in her room, Namjoon had almost camped out in the hospital. He slept in waiting rooms and survived on vending machine foods. On the third day, Hobi had come down to the hospital and convinced him somehow to go home with him and have dinner.

Namjoon had agreed only on the condition that Hobi wouldn't try to prevent him from coming to the hospital. When they got home, Hobi insisted that Namjoon take a shower to get rid of the hospital smell. 

He got out of the shower some 15 minutes later. His body feeling much lighter. As he was about to sit down on the dinner table when his phone rang. Looking at the caller id his heart dropped. It was the hospital. He picked it up with nervous hands and answered the call while Hobi looked at him with curious eyes.

Namjoon barely said anything. He listened to the person on the otherside of the call intently and only said, "I will be there right away."

"Can you drop to the hospital?" he asked looking at Hobi

"What happened?"

"Y/N has asked for me. She had her first therapy session today and it was her doctor. I don't know much but I need to go there." 

Unable to deny the urgency in his friend's voice and face, Hobi got up quickly.

"Let's Go."

~

Namjoon was standing infront of Y/N's room. He didn't know how it was going to be from here after. He didn't know whether she would forgive him or not. He didn't know anything except for one- he loved her.

Pushing the door open slowly, Namjoon got in. The machines had now decreased in number. All but one were gone and even that showed stable stats. Y/N was looking at him. Her face was no longer pale, she looked human again. He took a seat on the stool beside her bed- his head hanging low. 

"Joon," Y/N's voice came out as a whisper, "I am sorry."

His glance shot up at her statement. Tears were rolling down her cheek. He placed a hand gently on her cheek and wiped them off.

"No baby I am sorry." His voice was filled with emotions. "I shouldn't have left you baby."

Both of them had started crying. He held her hand tightly. They stayed like that in silence. They had a lot to say to each other but none of them knew how. So they just took in each other's presence and hoped everything would eventually turn out okay.

~

After two weeks, Y/N was discharged from the hospital. She was in therapy and was expected to continue it even after going home. She and Namjoon hadn't talked about anything in depth. They had kept conversations short only discussing shallow unimportant matters- things that didn't involve feelings. 

Since his house was ready and he didn't think Y/N needed the trauma of going back to her own place, Namjoon had brought her to his house from the hospital. Y/N sat on the bed as Namjoon unpacked her things. When she saw him put all her clothes in the wardrobe, she said, "If you put all of my things there, were will your clothes go?"

"Oh, mine are in my room."

"Your room?"

"Yes. I thought that you might need some space of your own. Is it not what you want?" Namjoon had read some book and done some research on how to help someone process grief.

"No. I just thought we would live together."

"But I don't want to intrude in your space. I wanted to give you space because I thought you need time to process your grief."

"And what about yours'?"

"I will be fine."

"Don't you have any accusations, any bad thing to say to me?"

Namjoon didn't say anything. 

"We came so close and now we are so far. How are we going to go back to normal? Is it even normal anymore? How do we go back when we have come so far? How do we begin again?" Y/N was emotional, speaking while looking at the distance.

"We don't have to go back to normal. We experienced this together and it has changed both of us. We have begun again. The moment I got you back is when we have started something new and this time I won't let it go. I love you more than anything and I can't even imagine letting you go."

"Then why are you staying in another room?"

"You need space. Your doctors have told you that. You need to heal and I can't distract you from that. I can't cause you any more harm."

"You didn't cause me any harm."

"Let's just stay separately for a few days. Maybe things would get better."

Y/N simply nodded. She wanted him close and he had denied her that. She knew they had to talk, resolve things out. But they won't solve anything with this kind of a living arrangement.

(A/N: Please vote. Hope you like this chapter. I know the updates have been slow. Love you guys.)