When to Hold Brakes

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"JAEMIN!" Renjun darted off toward the younger boy as soon as he spotted him. He had an hour before he had to go to work, but if he could catch Jaemin even for five seconds was good enough for him.
The younger boy turned around, a wide smile making its way on his face. He waved a little with his finger as Renjun came to a skidding halt.
"What's up, Renjun?" he cocked his head. Renjun blinked at him for a moment, trying to register what exactly he needed Jaemin for. He had been thinking about it for almost a full week and then suddenly his brain suddenly stopped functioning just because Jaemin genuinely looked happy to see him. Now was not the time for him to get caught with his words.

"Um...hang on," Renjun blinked at the ground as he tried to mentally regain his balance. He felt gross and weird and Jeno shouldn't like him anymore maybe probably. Or maybe Jeno should. He didn't know. Renjun just knew that his brain was blank while simultaneously reeling through possible problems and things to complain about to Jaemin. His plate was full but at the same time upside down. How could someone possibly solve this issue without it being a complete mess?

Renjun's eyes suddenly widened, thoughts and non-thoughts coming to a crash as Jaemin gently brushed Renjun's hair away from his face. The elder boy looked up to see him looking back with a confused yet understanding expression. "What's the matter, hon? You look distressed."
"...do I?" Renjun responded dumbly as Jaemin delicately fixed his hair. Guess it was a bit of a mess after sprinting in the campus to catch up with him.
Jaemin smiled with a nod, "you're in your head again. Let me help."
"What kind of fuckin therapist are you, dude?" Renjun thought as he blinked.

Jaemin dropped his hand down to Renjun's shoulder. As he softly rubbed his thumb across his shoulder, Renjun thoughts unreeled a bit, a small sense of clarity coming into his thoughts from Jaemin's touch. He slowly looked back up at the taller boy. "...do you think, maybe...that we should stop?"
The younger boy's head jolted back slightly, "what?"
Renjun breathed slowly, bringing his hand up to Jaemin's in a daze. "I don't think this is a good idea anymore."
Jaemin shook his head slightly. He chuckled a little with furrowed eyebrows. "It wasn't supposed to be, but it's working."

Renjun shook his head. He both wanted it to stop and didn't want it to stop. Jaemin was right, it was working and honestly at some points thrilling. But what is a thrill if someone gets hurt. Renjun didn't like the impact he had on Jeno nower days. He of course loved the feeling but now the guilt overpowered his thought and he wasn't sure how he was supposed to do this.

Besides, Jaemin was kind of his friend, and he was hurting him too. Even if Jaemin didn't realise.

"We can't stop," Jaemin shook his head, looking at Renjun with determination. He cupped the smaller boy's face, their warmth counteracting the freezing temperatures around them. "We're so close, I can feel it. Can't you?" Renjun could only swallow in response. No. He really couldn't. Not really. He really could only feel the heat from the fires of the pits of hell slowly cracking up and opening below him. He would love Jeno to be his own, but now Donghyuck's words were getting to him, becoming his own. Jaemin cared. So he should fucking care too.
"Jaemin." Renjun grabbed Jaemin's shoulders, "you're going to get hurt."
Jaemin shook his head rapidly, "No I won't. I promise I won't."

The younger boy sent him a soft smile. He brushed his thumbs across Renjun's cheeks. "You can't hurt me. You never can. I want you to be happy, that's why we're doing this." Jaemin stepped slightly closer to the smaller boy. "Please, please keep trying."

"Okay," Renjun agreed almost immediately. He didn't intend to at all, but he was just a weak young man who unfortunately had fallen victim to Na Jaemin's eyes as everyone once had before. The younger boy looked desperate and hopeful to work, that everything would fall into place if they tried and it was tempting to just give him everything he asked for. Renjun swallowed down the feeling of his heart stuttering in its spot. Even if he didn't intend for it to work out like this, there was something in Jaemin that made him want to just go along, that he'd lead him to his happy ending, be his rainbow leading him to the treasure that was Jeno and his love.
Jaemin let out a sigh of relief, Renjun dropping his hand into his pockets as he watched his breath swirl slightly in a mist. "Thank you, Jun. Really."
Renjun let himself smile up at the brunette. "It's fine. If this really is what you want, then okay."
Jaemin nodded, finally letting go of Renjun's face and stuffing his hands into his pockets as well.

Something suddenly clicked in Renjun's mind. But before he could ask Jaemin, they both had their attention grabbed by someone chuckling. A voice they both knew so well. Renjun looked up to see Jeno walking up to them with furrowed eyebrows, his hand turned up at them. "What the hell did I just see?"
"Huh?" both Renjun and Jaemin looked at one another, the shorter boy shrugging.
"You grabbed his face," Jeno snorted, bumping Jaemin with his shoulder.
"Ohhh," Jaemin laughed with a nod as he finally understood. "No, Renjun just had something in his eye and he asked me to see if it was still there before I went off." Renjun nodded in agreement. Bless Jaemin and his ability to lie effectively. Or maybe Jeno was just really fucking stupid which was also a strong candidate. He had fallen into a washing machine before.

"Ah, right," Jeno nodded. He patted his boyfriend's shoulder, "so you'll be off?"
"Yeah, I got shit to teach," Jaemin laughed. Renjun pursed his lips, awkwardly drawing circles with his feet around him as the two had their conversation. He sighed slightly as once again feelings of discomfort settled through his system. Honestly though, at this point, what did his flipping system want? He hated them talking to each other, but also hated when either of them got too close to him, like something in the way they approached him and talked to him was wrong. What sort of programming fucks up this badly?
He looked back up to see Jaemin take his hands out of his pockets and stare at them, noticing the slight redness of them. "Actually before I do that, Imma go buy gloves. Fuckin global warming," He nodded with a little emphasis before bidding them both farewell and waddling off to what Renjun presumed was going to a convenient store.

Both Jeno and Renjun cocked their heads at the younger boy, Jeno chuckling slightly before looking down to Renjun. Renjun looked up at him simultaneously. "What a weird lil man."
Jeno snorted. "He's taller than you."
"I- you bastard," Renjun went to wack Jeno's shoulder but missed as he darted off. Renjun smiled giddily to himself with light laughter, Jeno turning back a bit and sticking his tongue out at him. Renjun shook his head before darting after him, yelling at him with a wide grin.

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