crushed ice

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"I don't understand how couples sit across from one another on dates and stuff," Renjun spoke, placing his spoon back in his bowl of melting ice cream.
Jaemin turned to him, smiling and resting his head in his hand. "Well, people like to admire their date's and how they look," he replied, taking a spoonful of chocolate fudge cake. He clicked his tongue, "besides it's more convenient to, like, talk to your date."
Renjun scrunched his nose, "absolutely useless, I'd rather sit next to them."
"And why's that, my love?" Jaemin asked.
Renjun turned to look at him, admiring Jaemin's features before breaking into a grin. He tilted his head, gently pushing into Jaemin's shoulder. "Cause I wanna be as close to them as possible."

Jaemin's face seemed to lighten up just a fraction more after his comment, nudging Renjun's shoulder back with his own before they continued to eat, every now and then talking about something that came into their minds. But since they had already spent so much time together, they hardly had anything, instead they just enjoyed each others company.

It had been almost two months since Jeno and Donghyuck had left him.

For the first time in what seemed like forever, Renjun didn't have a Donghyuck or a Jeno by his side during his winter break like he anticipated many months ago. He hadn't played video games in Jeno's living room, whining about his inability to keep up. He hadn't had lied on the floor of Donghyuck's room, laughing and talking about stupid things that they had going on in their lives.

Instead, he had Jaemin.

They walked through snow and sun together, hand in hand. Sometimes in bitterness, sometimes in general comfort. They'd call one another when the sun was low, and text each other as soon as it rose, talking about nothing and everything.

He knew Jaemin well now, and he'd be lying to himself if he didn't admit that he had fallen even further for him. He just knew that he would never be okay with him, at least only him, so he only crept closer, never truly initiating everything. He still felt upset, heart still sort of in shambles. How could you blame him either, Jeno and Donghyuck had been engraved into his life since the beginning. What was life to be when he was the toxic one?

As the bell to the cafe rang, Renjun rested his head on Jaemin's shoulder. Jaemin turned his head for a brief moment before sliding his arm around Renjun's shoulders. "Sometimes, I wonder to myself what would've happened if I had asked you out first."
Renjun perked his head up at him, pursing his lips for a moment before responding. "You'd have to deal with me constantly attached to your waist, that's what," he said, bluntly.
Jaemin chuckled, "I'm okay with that."
"Nice to know."

They laughed quietly, Jaemin moving his arm back to pick up his spoon again. Renjun's face soured as he pressed the back on his spoon into the remains of his liquid ice cream. "Jeno would've hated me though."
Jaemin scoffed slightly, "Jeno's not as petty as you." He turned to him, sticking his tongue out.
Renjun snorted, but his expression was still dim. "...Jeno hates me now."
The younger boy sighed quietly before turning to him. He shook his head, "Jeno could never hate you, no matter how hard he tried." He tightened his grip ever so slightly on his spoon, looking slightly past where Renjun was seated. "We just fucked up big time. He'll come back some day."
Renjun nodded slowly, looking down at his soupy vanilla ice cream. It wouldn't be the same if Jeno did come back. But he couldn't really ask for more. He needed time, both of them.

After sitting in discomfort for a few moments, Renjun slowly turned his head back. He had this feeling like he was being watched and it was starting to creep him out, running down the back of his spine. He made eye contact with the person behind him, his breath hitching a little. He nodded at them slowly, the person returning the gesture. Jaemin looked toward him with furrowed brows before looking back at the person he was staring at. His face almost immediately fell. He snapped his head back forward, looking straight ahead with a hard expression, his lip quivering just a bit.

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