Monopoly | Norenmin

leaving

Renjun's head darted up as someone poked his leg. He grinned, lowering his phone to greet his friend. Donghyuck smiled back at him, offering a hand which Renjun took, pulling him off the wooden seat. Luckily for him, Donghyuck invited him out to roam the parks of the city. He didn't know about what had happened a few days ago, that Jeno was no longer talking to him nor Jaemin, and that was the best he could do. What better comfort could he have than strolling around with his best friend to ignore his heartaches?

Donghyuck rambled on, Renjun simply listening to him as Donghyuck complained and got overly excited as he jumped from topic to topic. He'd occasionally add his opinion in, but that's as far as he went. It's not like he had much to talk about.
Donghyuck squeezed his hand as he ranted, Renjun holding on to him as tightly as he could. He didn't want to lose him, it never occurred to him that he could. But after what had happened with Jeno he was afraid that maybe something else would go wrong. At least Donghyuck and Jaemin didn't want to throw him just yet.

Donghyuck glanced down, furrowing his brows momentarily as their hands before looking back at Renjun staring straight ahead, seeing him in his peripheral vision. Donghyuck shrugged, letting Renjun breathe a sigh of relief.
"So, how's your devil shit with Jaemin going?" Never mind then.
Renjun nodded slowly, clearing his throat a little as he mumbled that it was alright. "It's...going."
"Something happen?" the younger boy asked, slowing their pacing as they approached the middle of the field.
Renjun shrugged, not having the energy to lie to him. "Jeno's not talking to us anymore."
Donghyuck scoffed slightly, turning to face him an expression that basically said 'I told you so'. "Mm."
"Yeah," Renjun nodded, taking in a deep breath, still a bit shaky. He did this himself, and yet here he was feeling shitty as hell.
Donghyuck dropped the cocky look, rubbing Renjun's shoulder sympathetically. Renjun smiled shaking his head, silently telling him that it was okay as Donghyuck pursed his lips.

"Welp...this is bad timing I guess," Donghyuck gave him a sheepish look as they came to a stop in the vast field of green. Renjun cocked his head a little, smiling at him through his confusion. He looked as if he were pulling himself together and it worried him a bit, wondering if something bad happened. He gestured with his head to let Donghyuck speak his mind.
The younger huffed a little before taking Renjun's other hand, making him face him. "Um...I need to tell you something kinda important." He looked down, Renjun tilting his head a little to see his feared expression. Donghyuck swallowed a little, the movements too familiar to Renjun for him to ignore. Donghyuck looked up, forcing a small smile. "I just...there's some things I've been keeping to myself...and for me to move on, hopefully with Mark...I need to tell you this."

Donghyuck took deep breaths between his short sentences, hesitating every so often making Renjun's head spin slightly. "I'm just really sorry that it's now." Donghyuck gave him a sad smile before leaning up and placing a soft kiss on Renjun's forehead causing the smaller boy's head to come crashing down.
He spoke like Jaemin did. When Jaemin told him...

Renjun shook his head with pleading eyes. "No...Hyuck..."
"You need to know," Donghyuck looked back equally as desperately. Maybe he did, but not now, not when he was already crumbling.
Renjun pulled his hands from Donghyuck in fear, shaking his head. "I-I-I can't do this. Not now."
"I know," Donghyuck sighed, running his hand through his hair, "But I needed to tell you for my own sanity." He looked back at him with a guilty, almost bitter look. "I like you, Renjun. Not just as a friend, but as someone more. I know you like Jeno or Jaemin or whatever but I need to get it off my chest." 

They stood in silence, Renjun simply taking the weight of what Donghyuck had told him, silently shuffling his hands into his pockets that seemed to grow around him, making him smaller than ever. Donghyuck merely looked down, swinging back and forth on his feet, muttering short apologies under his breath. Renjun didn't know why. Why would you apologise for having feelings?

He took a deep breath, reluctantly looking up to him. "How- how long?"
Donghyuck shrugged vaguely, responding quietly under his breath "very." He glanced at him, "almost around the time I met you."
Renjun's eyes widened for a moment but he still nodded anyway. He was surprised that Donghyuck kept it to himself for so long but if anything it just made him feel worse about never realising. Yeah, Donghyuck was affectionate to anyone and everyone, but part of him felt as if he should've known. Acknowledged it a bit. At least the slight bitter looks whenever he spoke about Jeno added up.

"I'm really sorry, Jun," Donghyuck pursed his lips into a smile, sniffling a bit to stop himself. Renjun waved his hand dismissively as he shook his head. "Don't." He shut his eyes, taking in a deep breath. "Don't be sorry...it's just..."
"Bad timing?" Donghyuck suggested accurately.
Renjun chuckled a little, hiccuping silently with a nod. "Yeah."

Donghyuck glanced off to the side, "I needed to tell you so I could heal. I'm sorry."
Renjun nodded, feeling the shards on his shattered heart crack further. There was only one way Donghyuck would go to collect himself, especially if it was as bad as Renjun thought it was, though he'll never understand why him.

"...You're leaving me. Aren't you?"
Donghyuck nodded slowly, tears calmly rolling down his cheeks. He turned and smiled at his friend, almost pinching his thumb and index finger together. "Just for a bit...if that's okay."
Renjun chuckled as he nodded. As if he would say no to this, he didn't want to prove to be as heartless as he was. Besides, he understood. He would do the same if he could. Distance himself from Jeno to get over himself. Maybe then everything wouldn't have fallen apart around him. "It's fine, I get it."

He swallowed slightly before he stopped fighting himself and crashed into Donghyuck, hugging him as tightly as possible. "I'm so fucking sorry, Hyuckie."
Donghyuck quietly hugged him back, resting his chin on his head. He took in stuttered breaths as he quietly cried. "Why are you sorry, honey?" He pulled him back a little to see the smaller boy's face. "You did nothing."
"Which is exactly why I'm sorry," Renjun huffed, using his sleeve to wipe away his tears. He smiled at Donghyuck as best he could, cupping the boy's face. "Go get yourself a Mark now."
Donghyuck laughed a little, nodding and holding on to Renjun's hands, "thank you."

They spoke for a few moments more, Renjun hyping up Donghyuck through their tears. He softly promised that he wouldn't come back to him unless he was ready, even though it would be hell for him and wished him all the best. He gave him one last hug, holding on to him for dear life before he left. He didn't know how long it would be until he saw him. But as long as he came back in the end that was all that mattered.

He deserved to be alone. He deserved to not have Donghyuck. Not now, not ever. He was grateful to have him, but he never did anything to show him how much he cared about him when he did so much. It was his best friend. What was he gonna do without him?

Renjun stood quietly by himself in the middle of the field, the faint muttering of people going past him didn't matter. He could only breathe and take in the fact that he lost another person due to his damn actions. He bent down, kneeling into the dirt and held his head in hands, his tears taking the life of the ground around him.

"I just can't do anything right, can I?"