Love Her

Page 7

Who was I kidding? Would I ever be able to leave this incredible soul now that I found her? I would never find someone like her again if I did.

She was my best friend.

I closed my eyes and thought about her. When she twisted a lock of hair absently around her finger. When she threw her books down with more force than usual. When she brushed her hair out of her eyes. When she rushed to class late. When she haphazardly pulled on her winter jacket. When she tapped her foot recklessly against the floor. When she made cute little sounds while she ate.

She was beautiful, in every sense of the word.

Astonishing, breathtaking, lovely, attractive, exquisite. Kindhearted, affectionate, amazing. Beautiful. Her magnificent chocolate skin and her pretty dark raven hair, her big, captivating brown eyes. Melissa was incredibly gorgeous. Perfect, even.

I'd have to tell her, I knew that. It was the only way to be fair. I'd have to explain it right, so that she'd know I wasn't settling, that she was much too good for me. She already knew I was broken, that part wouldn't surprise her, but she'd need to know the extent of it.

I washed my hands and left the bathroom.

The moon was already up, visible through the gauzy clouds.

Worry and anxiety filled my stomach like acid as I stood to open the bedroom door, realizing I had less resolution than ever. I was standing still, my hand resolutely on the door, afraid to open it, afraid of what I'll see.

When I finally got up the courage to step inside, it was empty. Listening closely, I could hear her humming as she moved about the kitchen and I decided to wait until she came back and got comfortable. The chill that was in my stomach seemed to surge icy cold as my anxiety and hysteria rose with each second. Each 'what if' I thought of raised my heart rate until it was practically trying to jump from my chest. A frozen wave of terror filled my lungs. The war between what was right and wrong was taking over my body as I sunk down onto the bed and waited for her to join me. I sat there, silent and unmoving - rigid as waxwork while the battle raged inside me.

Each second that passed me by felt like an eternity.

I had a dozen different arguments with myself while the minutes passed, rationality struggling with desire as I tried to justify calling out to her.

She was radiating with glee as she moved fluidly into the bedroom, dropping to the ground and crossing her legs with a gleaming smile across her face, a cookie in each hand. Imy body felt rigid as she offered me one. A deep breath entered my lungs as her perfume rippled down my burning throat, the sensation of fear entering my body. Anxiety bubbled like acid in my stomach. The only thing that slightly soothed my frenzied nerves was her warmth...her pulse in the air, on my skin.

"Hey, Melissa? Can we talk?"

A sign of nervousness was suddenly evident on her face when she bit her lower lip. She didn't realize she was doing it when she looked at me and asked anxiously, "Sure, what's wrong?"