Love Her

Page 8

"Nothing's wrong, there's just something I want to tell you."

I didn't want to tell her something that would possibly upset her. The thought of causing her any type of pain sent an overwhelming feeling of remorse through my body. Each thought of her being offended ripped through my heart, leaving big gaping holes.

I took in a deep breath, a sigh really. I turned to her, bringing my whole attention to her. I closed my eyes, knowing the next little bit was going to be rough. I might not even make it through it all. I took her hands in mine and began.

"I think I love you."

"Oh," she looked upset by this, but the shock was still present on her tender face. Her facial expressions changed to contemplation. I wanted to groan in exasperation at her quietness. What was she thinking? Her short pause was the loudest silence I have ever heard.

"I'm sorry." I apologized. "I shouldn't have said anything." I couldn't expect forgiveness because I didn't deserve it.

She shook her head, though. The little furrow was there between her eyebrows, the corners of her lips turned down. Her lips trembled and then parted. She was silent and I was worried I had gone too far.

"How are you feeling?" I asked.

"I'm fine," she said automatically.

She hadn't convinced me though. In a nervous gesture, she once again began biting at her lower lip. She looked like she wanted to say something; she was hesitating. Curiosity was burning in her eyes. She was regaining her color and I was becoming frustrated once again at the silence of her knowing mind. I paused, waiting for her to ask a question. Or a request from me. Or anything.

There was a long and painful silence before either of us spoke again.

"So..."

"So?"

"So where does that leave us?"

"I...don't know."

I continued to look at her face. Each expression fluttered across with little time to settle. Her eyebrows pulled together and I wanted to take my thumb and smooth out the complexity lines. Trying to understand her was like trying to read a sign language unknown to humans.

Finally, she spoke.

"Are we still on for coffee tomorrow?"

My chest was swelling at the relief I felt for finally releasing the information that could doom me from ever seeing this delightful soul again. The feeling of happiness that was surging through my body at this moment in time was completely indescribable. I hadn't realized that I would feel like this, too; that knowing she wasn't running, that she was one hundred percent accepting.