Reality

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[art by me]

I jolted up from my bed, my whole body feeling sweaty.

That dream was realistic, a bit too realistic for my liking. I could still feel where America's hands had been within the dream, I could still feel a burning sensation on my tongue.

I stared at my room in horror, wishing I never had woken up from that dream.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by the sound of knocking, I turned my gaze towards the door, glaring. "Who's there?" I grunted.

"I-It's Ukraine.." A muffled voice spoke from the other side. I grit my teeth. "What the fuck do you want?!" I asked, Ukraine really not helping my situation right now.

"I'm just worried for you. You haven't been yourself recently.." The voice replied. I really didn't have time for this bullshit right now. Seems like I didn't have much of a choice, as another voice barked in.

"Russia! This is Belarus speaking! You will get your ass out here right this instance!" Their voice echoed through the door. "Both of you shut the fuck up!" I replied, feeling anger build up inside of me.

As I assumed, they weren't having none of it. Soon they both started to shout.

I couldn't do anything but cover my ears, as a harsh sound rang through my head.

It was so loud. So unbearable.

It kept on getting louder and louder till it stopped.

Everything went quiet, except for the loud silence.

I got out of my bed, slowly dragging myself towards my mirror. To be completely honest, I looked like absolute shit.

I had heavy eye-bags, messy hair, my body shining ever so slightly due to the sweat, a bad posture and one ugly frown.

"Russia.. I know you're upset about something.. I can't force you to tell me what it is, just know I'm always here for you. I know you don't always have full control over what happens in your life, and I will not blame you for that. Please, just don't lock us out like this, we're just worried.." Ukraine's voice broke the silence, and instead replaced it with a more calming aura.

"I'll give you some space, but at least take better care of yourself when you won't let us help" They said, before I heard them leave.

Ukraine was right. This is the future, and I'll have to accept it as it is.
———

I stood outdoors in clean clothes, and a spare jacket as the other was currently getting washed. My hair still slightly damp from the shower.

Placing my hands on the stone fence, keeping me distant from the edge of the bride, as I stared into the water.

No matter how hard I try to forget him, he always invades my mind.

I stared at the river underneath, as the water stream moved with a few fish within.

The sound of running water, strangely calming me.

I missed him so much, but that's no excuse for how I've treated people.

How I've treated my family, myself, those around me and Germany.

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