Baby chibi is a pain

Chapter 4

Dazai opened the closet and started arranging the clothes he had just bought. He had Chuuya sit on the futon, having him play on his phone because he didn't have any toys right now for him to play with. Hopefully he would get some peace and quiet now that he's at home.

(Haha no-)

"Oi wavste ou bangwages, iz thiz candy?"

Candy? Last time Dazai checked, there was no candy in the house.

 Dazai looked down the little chibi's hand and felt his blood run cold. They were pills. 

His pills

That he once tried using

To commit

Suicide

Dazai swore his brain had never worked this fast before. He squatted down, squished Chuuya's cheek and forced him to open his mouth. He checked if he had put one in his mouth.

He had. 

Dazai tried fishing it out with his fingers. Unhygienic as it is, the situation called for it. He didn't have any success though. 

He then grabbed Chuuya by the shoulder and started hitting him on the back (You know when someone chokes and you hit them on the back kind of hit).

"SPIT IT OUT!"

"Why???"

"Nakahara Chuuya! F***ing hell! Spit.It.Out"

"No"

"Spit-it-out. I will seriously hit you if you don't so don't f***ing test my patience you little—"

"Okay okay" Chuuya finally spat the pill out. Dazai quickly took him to the sink and made him gargle. He then took the pills and threw them in a garbage can, outside the house.  

He entered the house and saw Chuuya sitting with a small bottle in his hand that he was trying to open.

"What are you doing now?"

"This smells sweet, Can I have some?" Chuuya asked innocently, handing Dazai the bottle for him to open. Dazai took the bottle and looked at it. He almost had a heart attack for the second time this day.

'Shit-'

Dazai yeeted the bottle out of the window and Chuuya exclaimed

"I vonted to drink zat!"

"I don't care. You aren't drinking that, it's not for kids" 

In truth, it wasn't for any age. It was a bottle of poison that Dazai had tried to consume once, only to be rescued by Mori.

"Fine. I'll just play with this rope then" Chuuya said, pouting

'Oh, a rope? I guess that isn't too ba—'

"Dammit, you little— you aren't supposed to wrap it around your neck!!" Dazai yelled and took the rope from him and locked it in a safe.

"Washte of bwagages" 

"What now?"

"Can I pway wiz thiz?" Chuuya asked, holding up an object. 

"No. Give it here" Dazai said, taking the knife from Chuuya. Chuuya jumped, trying to take it back from Dazai but couldn't because Dazai was way taller.

"Wah!! What shood I du then?"

"I dunno. Sir peacefully? Let me sit peacefully too?" 

"Na. It's not fun"

"Well then, Do whatever you want! Leave me in peace. Don't bother me"

"Okie"

Dazai sat down on the futon and Chuuya sat down beside him with something in his hand again. 

"What are you doing now?" Dazai asked, too tired to open his eyes.

"Pwaying"

"Playing what?" 

Suddenly a very strong smell of ink greeted Dazai's nose and his eyes shot open. Chuuya was sitting with a bottle of ink in his hand with some ink smeared on his face and hands. Dazai facepalmed and took the ink pot from Chuuya and took the him to the sink again to wash him up.

"Mmph mmn muhmp mm!!! (Translation: What is it now?!) " Chuuya 'Mm-mphed' angrily, while Dazai forced the kid to gargle.

"You've got ink in your mouth is what it is now! You also almost ruined my precious futon, you Chibi!! Honestly can you not be a hyperactive animal and just sit down like a normal human being?" 

"Mmmph mphmphm?(Translation: What's Hyperactive?)"

 "You"

Dazai dried him with a towel and went back into the room

"Okay now sit. Sit quietly. If I catch you doing anything stupid aga—  JEsUs cHRiSt Chuuya!"

Chuuya had now taken out the strings used to fly a kite, from under the futon and had completely wrapped it around himself. 

"Oh my freaking god, Chuuyaa Ughhhh!!!!!!!!" Dazai screamed in frustration. That's it, he's gonna tie this little troublemaker, after getting him out of this mess that is.

Well it doesn't seem like that is going to happen anytime soon because Chuuya stood up, hearing Dazai's frustrated scream and started running away.

'Oh shit- this is bad. What do I do!? He's gonna end up hurting himself . Ohmygosh Chuuya why do you have to be such brat?'

After a while of playing tom and jerry, Dazai was able to catch Chuuya, with only a few minor cuts. 

He took him to the sink again, washed the cuts, applied ointment and wrapped bandages

'I swear there is something wrong with this idiot's head. Like who does all that in ONE DAY? I need to do something before he decides to give me a heart attack again'

He grabbed Chuuya and lifted him up and out of reach of any objects. He then took out his phone and dialed a number.

"Hello? Dazai kun?" The person on the other side answered
"ANE SAN! I NEED HELP"
"Uhhh...who is this?"
"Dazai Dazai Dazai, It's me Dazai. Look, I need you to please tell me how to take care of a brat who can't sit still. Please he's driving me insane by grabbing all these dangerous stuff. He might accidentally end up hurting himself"
"Oh sure, just give him a paper and some crayons and that should keep him busy for a while. And by the way, why are you taking care of a child?"
"It's a long story. Anyways, thanks a lot Ane san. I owe you a meal" he said, putting Chuuya down on the futon and handing him the crayons and paper.

"Oh also, Dazai kun.. have you seen Chuuya anywhere?"