emptiness

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"sunghoon hyung~ hah! don't ever trust in love, okay?" sunghoon pushed his face away from him but still held his arm. not wanting heeseung to walk alone while drunk.

"shut up. you're older than me and if i don't trust in love, i don't trust wonyoung too. i'm loyal to her!" sunghoon answered. this is what he faces every weekend after the argument with aeri. he slowly gets used to it.

it's so tiring but what can he say. he even tried to help them back together but nothing worked until the point he believe that there is no hope for them to be together again.

in the middle of walking, heeseung stopped followed by sunghoon since he's the one who helps heeseung by putting hee's arm around his neck.

out of a sudden, he's smiling weirdly while looking at sunghoon. "wonyoung is my girl's friend," sunghoon faces turn into the mad and confused. how could he say something like that?

he probably thinks that heeseung is out of control right now but his words make sunghoon misunderstand. "mind repeat it again?" heeseung nodded.

"wonyoung is aeri's friend. haish, i miss my girl," he repeats what he said a second ago while walking further from sunghoon who's speechless with his friend's behavior. he thought heeseung would take his blind date girlfriend away.

running up to heeseung. put his arm once again to sunghoon's neck as they make their way to sunghoon's dorm as he giggled, watching his friend having a hard time with things called love.

"you said don't believe in love anymore but then you miss your girl," after all, heeseung is not that cold-hearted guy. he wants to meet aeri so bad even at college, he always hoping for aeri to pass by him. it was like everything has planned, it was fate they never met each other anymore.

when they arrived at their dorm, sunghoon let heeseung rest on the sofa. he's better than before but still not fully sober and still tipsy, thanks to sunghoon who's helped him.

sunghoon comes back from the kitchen with a glass of water. giving him the water so he could be better but he ends up sobbing and crying a mess.

no, sunghoon is not worried. this is a normal situation every time he gets drunk. it was like a weekly routine. after he's done with his last class, he'll go straight to the bar and drink more than ten bottles of beer because he wants aeri to get out of his head.

but it'll get worst. the memories of them started to play in his head. because of that, he'll cry. bubbling words like miss her, love her, and wishing he could stay with her forever.

"do you think she loves me?" he asks a non-sense question. for your information, this is not his first time asking

the same question. it's the fourth time already but sunghoon, being the good friend he is, still answers.

sunghoon sighed. "she does. i bet she also wants to meet you, hyung," sunghoon answered but heeseung scoffed. he laughed as his tears fell.

"she told me to leave. there is no way she wants to see me again. she did that because she hates me and i hate me to for falling," with his drunk voice, sunghoon knows the way he said, he's still in the pain. "that was my fault. i said she's selfish, just like how the old abusive sh'tty grandpa said to her," he's continued, laying his body on the sofa.

zero energy to wipe his tears away. he just let them down while his mind was busy thinking about her.

opening his mobile phone and going straight to the gallery. scrolling for a second, and boom! he saw a picture she took together on their vacation together. again, he turns himself to be the worst version.

"i want to meet here so bad but i can't. is she meeting another boy better than me? am i too late?" what a tissue's heart he got. well, yeah. he had never been in love before. this is the first and he was hoping for the best.

look what happened to both of them now. sunghoon comforted him by rubbing his back. trying to say kind words that might help him to be sober.

no tears come out anymore, just sobbing. he can't hold it anymore. he misses her to the dead but he's a freak. he doesn't know how to face her. every time he tried to approach her, he will end up going back to the same position.

gosh, he badly needs her.

––

laying down on the bed in their shared bedroom. staring at the ceiling but her mind full of heeseung's face. "i miss you," she chuckled, knowing she looks like a dumb person. talking to herself as he heard what she said.

this is healing. she can't meet him, at least speak everything out inside their shared bedroom fix a bit. unfortunately, yeonjun and aeri decided to move back to their old house next week.

she can't tell everything about heeseung anymore in the same place they always spent together. she hopes that she can say it to him in real life instead.

"he must be busy," aeri sighed staring at the ceilings.

"i went through my week just to survive, how can you still motivate, hee?" she asked herself.

"where does he's living right now? he needs to use the money to rent a dorm for him," whining while imagining heeseung who's struggling with money to pay for a place he needs to live.

but then she scoffed. "but deserved. he called me selfish while i gave him food and place for free!" pouted remembering his words.

that's hurt since now. the traumatized she got from his father comes back when he said that to her. they are just the same but aeri still wants him for life. for her short life.

"gosh, where are you now?"

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