Dangerous Muse (ASHLEY 10) ☑

Chapter 13

|Chapter|13|Sign|

Nakatitig ako sa mga maletang nasa harapan ko, my mother packed my things for me. How thoughtful. The feeling should be sweet but it tastes bitter.

I pulled my knees closer to my chest and hugged it tight. Mabigat ang pakiramdam ko, parang gusto kong umiyak pero wala namang lumalabas na luha sa aking mga mata. I want to think of a possible scenario that will happen tomorrow, pero blangko lang talaga ang utak ko. It feels like... everything has stopped. Even my mind refrains from thinking.

At hindi ako sigurado kung dapat ko bang ikatuwa ang nangyayari sa akin... sa ngayon, ang hirap tingnan ng mga bagay sa paligid ko gamit ang aking positibong mga mata. Dahil nababahiran ang lahat sa akin ng pait.

Nasa ganoong posisyon ako naabutan ni Daddy, he knocked on my door--- even though it's already open, before entering my room. Kaagad ko ring inalis ang paningin ko sa kaniya nang tuluyang na siyang makalapit sa akin. He sat in front of me, above my bed.

"Are you mad at me, princess?" He softly asked, like how he always does every time he talks to me. He seldom raise his voice at me, I can't even remember the last time that he did.

Hindi ako nagsalita. He was there when Lola Purple announced my flight and mission, unfortunately, he was just there. He didn't say any single word. Hindi naman ako galit dahil wala siyang ginawa, I just feel disappointed because I felt so hopeless right now and that very moment!

Alam kong hindi niya pwedeng suwayin si Lola Purple, at hindi ko naman hihilingin na gawin niya iyon. I just... I just hoped for him to do something, like... try to utter anything that moment. Kahit hindi na para pigilan si Lola Purple sa gusto nito, basta sana nagsalita siya kanina. Pakiramdam ko, kahit iyon lang, gumaan sana ang dibdib ko.

"Muse, sweety, please don't get mad. Alam kong ayaw mong umalis, and I also know why. But you know our situation, we can't just... just always choose what we want." Pagpapaintindi niya.

I did not respond.

"Isaah needs someone right now. Alam kong hindi mo siya gusto, kahit na bilang kaibigan lang. But imagine if you were him, he's devastated, Muse. And he needs you." He became silent for a minute, he wrinkled his forehead, "I'll try to convince Lola Purple to assign Fheris instead, but for now, you still have to leave the country. Hindi bodyguard ang kailangan ni Isaah ngayon kundi kaibigan. I hope you won't take my words in a wrong way."

I tilted my head to face him. Kaagad na nalungkot ang mga mata niya nang magtama ang aming mga paningin.

"B-but how about me? I want to stay, Dad. I don't want to leave Jeremiah." I spoke, trying not to say much.

He sighed, "I'm not against your relationship with that guy, Muse. But I don't think you should focus your eyes only on him. And one of the reason why I agreed to Lola Purple, is because I can see how deeply in love you are with that boy." Umiling siya, "Hindi dapat ganoon, anak. Hindi muna ngayon. It's too early."

Inabot niya ang aking kamay, marahan niya itong hinahaplos. Napatingin ako rito. My father and I are close, he's my favorite hero. Siya ang nagtrain sa akin n'un, he carefully and patiently taught me how to defend and fight.

Hindi ako kasing-galing ng mga Kuya ko, not even an equal to my cousins, kaya alam kong ilang libong pasensya rin ang binaon niya. He never scold me, not even once. Dinadaan niya lahat sa kalmadong usapan, pareho sila ni Mommy. He spoils me a lot, everyone of them. Lahat sila... tinatrato akong prinsesa.

But if things became this heavy and serious, pakiramdam ko, wala silang pakialam sa akin. But I am not that childish to think that they don't love me nor care for me anymore, just because they can't give me what I want. I know they do, they always will.