Dangerous Muse (ASHLEY 10) ☑

Chapter 30

Hi! This is the last chapter na POV ni Muse. Thank you for reading my stories. Lately, I lost track of my passion. I've been busy and lazy at the same time, a very complicated combo. This story is like actually shorter than the others, siguro kay dili pajud ko fully nagbalik sa akoang old self kumbaga, bwahahahaha. Anyways, I hope you'll continue to check out my other stories! Gracias! Jeremiah's POV is next.

|Chapter 30|Lose|

I was so happy... to the point that I forgot how being misery feels like.

They called me dangerous, but I am truly not. I am weak. I get broken too easily. I have so many fragile points. I will never be dangerous because I am far from that. Maybe I did so many things to make other people think that I am, so I unconsciously wanted to prove them right. It's all because of my egoistic self. But right now... how can you call someone who can't even move out her bed dangerous?

"W-we are so so sorry, Madam." The Doctor nervously gulped, "Y-you lose the baby."

When can I be happy without paying it by triple pain? I just want to be happy... without getting scared... of what's gonna happen next. Ganoon ba kahirap ibigay iyon sa akin? Don't I deserve it?

Kung totoo nga ang Diyos, bakit ang damot niya? Bakit?! Dahil ba marami akong nagawang kasalanan kaya niya ito hinayaang mangyari sa akin? Kung ganoon ay sinungaling ang mga pari at pastor, dahil ang sabi nila ay mapagpatawad ang Diyos! He's so cruel. He's not forgiving just like what they say. He punishes those people who have sinned instead of giving them another chance!

Wala siyang awa... wala siyang awa! Porque... hindi rin naman iyon mangyayari kung may ginawa lang ako. Kasalanan ko parin. Isisi ko man sa Diyos pero... alam kong kasalanan ko ang lahat.

I lost the baby, my first child died. That thought keeps on echoing in my head... torturing me.

Humigpit ang hawak ko sa aking kumot, my tears are falling but I am fucking suppressing my sobs. I am alone in my room right now but even without having anyone watching me. I still can't cry freely. Kasi alam kong anytime... babalik na siya.

I know it's my fault. I have the feeling that I was pregnant but I still... I still involved myself. Sinabihan na ako nila Kuya na pwede namang hindi ako sumama. But I was stubborn, I let my pride dominate me. Nagpadala ako sa panunukso ni Chan. But still I know it's... it's just my fault. Hindi sa kaniya, hindi kay Chan, hindi nila Kuya, kundi ako. Ako lang.

From Unknown:
Wanna bet who'll die? Say goodbye to your brothers, Beasty.

I gritted my teeth as I read the message that triggered me. If it weren't for this text...

I swallowed hard, trying to get rid of the lump that serves as the barrier inside my throat. I remembered... I remembered dealing with morning sickness for 2 consecutive weeks. My weird cravings. My body weight changes. My mood swings. They are not just hormones... I was pregnant. I was really carrying a baby inside my womb. There was life inside me. And then I killed it.

Another batch of tears streams down my cheeks. I closed my eyes and moved my head sideways, still griping on my comforter. I heard the door opens, so I hurriedly wiped my face and drown myself in my bed, covering my wholeness with the comforter.

Pigil na pigil ako sa aking paghikbi. The person who entered sat beside me, humigpit ang hawak ko sa comforter nang naramdaman ko ang paghawak nito rito. I was so ready to kick this person, if ever it will insist to take my blanket off. But the person didn't. Instead, it searched for my shoulder, and then this person started to... tap and caress me gently... it's too light like this person is so scared that I'll break if he'll use any force.