Dangerous Muse (ASHLEY 10) ☑

Chapter 18

|Chapter|18||

Napaawang ang mga labi ko dahil sa mga narinig. Nabigla ako, iyan ang totoo. He used to be shy, and now he became... bold, almost aggressive. Hindi ako sanay, siguro dahil inaasahan kong ganoon parin siya gaya ng dati. That he'll remain that innocent and timid boy, but he changed, a lot. From that incident at his family's party, alam ko ng nagbago na talaga siya.

But when his words finally got fully registered in my brain, I felt a very painful pang on my chest, it sweetly stings. He addressed himself as my boyfriend like... there was nothing unfortunate that happened. Dapat masaya ako kasi para sa kaniya may kami parin. But I don't want him to be like this. He should be mad at me for leaving, and not like this. At kahit pa man gustuhin ko... hindi ba niya alam na hindi pwede?

Napaatras ako, "boyfriend?" Mahina kong saad, "don't you want to break up with me instead of coming here... a-and then claiming to be my boyfriend? Iniwan kita diba? I chose to be with someone else. But you still call yourself my boyfriend?"

He clamped his jaw, "you probably got reasons."

"And then what? You think it's acceptable? You think my reason will-"

"I'll hear you out," he firmly cut me off, "just like what you did the last time. You listened to my explanation and-"

"You think you will be able to accept my reason? What if I'll tell you I cheated? That I chose to be with Isaah and left you without... without saying anything, because I find him better than you? Will you able t-to... to accept that?" Nangingining kong sabi.

I'm lying. And I want him to see that I didn't mean what I said. But he should. He maybe had changed, became a bit brave, but still the purest soul I know. Hindi man maintindihan ng iba, magulo man, pero hindi talaga pwede.

Love, it's the most wonderful feeling you'll give and receive from someone. But it could be the most tormenting as well. Not all the love in the world are meant to be felt forever. May nagtatagal... may nawawala nalang bigla. And unfortunately, this love I have for him probably wants me to suffer, a karma coated by chocolate of pain and sprinkles of happiness.

At hindi rin lahat ng pag-ibig, dapat maramdaman. Hindi lahat ng pag-ibig masaya at tama. Hindi lahat kailangang ipakita. Third parties and broken marriage exists because of love too, a love that just suddenly came to ruin the current feelings you have for someone. But they arrived for a reason. You won't have a second choice, if the first is enough.

But are we really certain with our decisions? Are we a hundred percent sure that with the path we chose to take, at the end of it is the finish line we wanted and not a trap?

I thought being part of HUE is the most solid decision I've ever made. But look where it took me.... here, in our house' backyard, pushing the man I love away, hurting both of us. Because of the choice I selected in the past, my present became my nightmare, and I cannot choose the future my heart truly desires.

Pain parked on his eyes, it's clearly written on his expression, and it's making it harder for me to spew more lies. I want to take those back.

"Y-you don't mean that..." nanginginig at mahina niyang sabi, pain is dripping in his every words.

I thought of telling him the truth. But then Lola Purple's voice rang in my head. Stopping me from my attempt of recreating a chance of happily ever after with Jeremiah.

"Yes, alam kong apo siya ni Emilio."

I shook my head in disbelief, I can feel her observant eyes on me. She knew I won't like her answers, but I'm glad she was honest. Pauwi na ako ng bahay, but then on my way, my curiosity attacked me and defeated my patience. So I went here to Lola Purple's mansion... to ask.