The Fourth Eaton

Chapter 21 🔪 Make It Stop

A/N: Dang, I'm on a roll with these chapters. I forced myself to write through crippling writer's block, which, by the way, is an official diagnosis now, short-form CWB, because I say so. Every writer will agree with me. 

School is back in full force. Dang it. 

Guys, please read this. Before you read this chapter, make sure you are fully aware of the content warning I have included in this story's description. This chapter is a heavy one, heavier than usual, and it may be a trigger for some people. Don't read it if you aren't sure, I really don't want to cause anyone distress from my completely (fan)fiction story.

Now, onto the chapter! I hope it isn't bad, you know, because of my CWB.

"You ready, Cammi?"

I stare into my brother's eyes as he leans over me, the empty syringe in hand.

Absolutely not. "Yeah."

I lay there, waiting for the serum to take effect, my mind drifting to the past day.

I can see how the simulations have been taking a toll on my fellow initiates. Lavender jumps at sudden movements. Ethan flinches whenever the breeze of an AC unit hits him. Even Julia discretely glances around whenever she enters a new room, eyes wide and alert for danger. Last night, we were all awoken several times by someone's yelp or scream, unable to contain the noises of their nightmares.

If I were a normal initiate, maybe I would be the same. But nightmares aren't new to me. And my first simulation wasn't exactly a made-up scenario; it was my mind putting together figments of my memory to make a new one.

Suddenly, the darkness takes me.

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I'm standing in my room in Abnegation. Again. Great.

If my heart wasn't starting to pick up its pace, if my mouth wasn't starting to become dry, if fear wasn't already wrapping its tentacles around my brain and refusing to let go, I might have made a snarky comment directed at Tobias under my breath, something like, You probably won't get the same fear again, he said.

But the symptoms of terror are taking effect, so I don't. Instead, I stare at my bedroom door and wait for Marcus to call me again.

But he doesn't.

I frown. In the first simulation, he called me in the first five seconds. I've been waiting for over half a minute now, and he still hasn't called. What's going on?

I shift my gaze away from the door, and to my alarm clock. It reads 7:22 PM.

Of course, the door decides to open right at that moment.

I whip my head around, only to see Marcus, smirk and all, take a step into my room, the smell of alcohol surrounding him like a cloud.

He didn't come to me in the last simulation.

"Hello, Camilla." His voice sends prickles up my spine. I've heard Marcus sober, almost blackout drunk, and even tipsy, like he is now. But he's never sounded like this. Marcus always sounds menacing when he's talking to us, but now, he sounds different somehow.

The beatings Tobias and I endured while in Abnegation were bad, but we knew to expect them. They were predictable. It's when Marcus gets unpredictable that he's truly dangerous.

I probably sound like an Erudite right now.

"Are you missing Tobias," he spits out his son's name like it's a curse, "right now?"