Wrapped Around My Whiskers (On Hold)

18~ False Hope

After showing me around most of the pack premises, we sat down in the pack's 'main park' where several other werewolves were around. Robin had taken me through all the main house, and we had also gone on a walk around the area. During the walk we encountered several people who know Robin, as well as several people who wanted to get to know me. Naturally, Robin just sent them on their way.

"Everyone seems so happy here," I commented, motioning toward several children playing, and their mothers deep in conversation.

"Why wouldn't they be?"

"I've heard things about this pack," I explained, leaving her with a curious look. "Like how you kill most rogues who enter this pack, and how you control people with fear."

"You believe it?"

"Well, fear is a powerful weapon. It can cause such desperation, that it would leave a person weak. So yea, I had no trouble believing it." I said as I grabbed a clover and tugged it out of the ground. "A pack is easier to control if people inside it fear their leader. A pack is more likely to become victorious if people outside it fear the leader. Along with the pack obviously," I add rolling the clover between my fingers.

"Look around," Robin instructed. "Do people look scared to you?" When I failed to reply, she continued. "We do not force our pack members to follow. We give most people around here a very good life. We give people options, and each option has an advantage and a consequence. That's the way we do things around here."

"That's quite a way to sugar coat it," I smirked looking at her. I noticed how she sat with legs crossed and her back straight, almost like she's ready to leap up and run at any second. I notice how graceful and beautiful she looks. I also notice that she has no body to cherish her beauty, no one to acknowledge it.

"It sure feels peaceful out here though," I admitted. "Without Adam running around to piss me off." Robin let out a laugh.

"He's been giving you a hard time then?"

"You have no idea." I reply. "Hey, what's that?" I point at a few werewolf pups. The strange thing was, they were shifted, and people don't usually shift that early, it usually happens along with puberty.

"It's happened quite recently," she explained. "Children have started shifting at a very early age. I don't think anyone knows why, but it doesn't bother anyone. The earlier you get to know half of yourself, the better."

She had a point. But I never felt like I didn't know Lana or Nika. They were always there, speaking to me. I just learnt to become them at a later stage. I vividly remember trying to convince my mother that there were two voices in my head and not one.

FLASHBACK

"Mommy, they're speaking to me again," I tell her.

"Who is, sweetheart?" She asks.

"The animals," I explain. "Inside me!" I whisper so no one would hear. This was top secret, I had to get Mama to understand. My animals were talking to me all the time. Mummy says a secret needs to be kept, or it's magic is lost. So I try to keep quiet about my secret.

"Your wolf?" She asks.

"There are two," I insisted

"Sweetie, are you sure you're not confused?" She asks. Silly Mommy.

Tell her I'm a cat. I hear the voice say.

But I'm a wolf. I hear a different one.

"They told me to tell you, that I have a wolf and a cat," I passed on the message. Mama's eyes widened.

"Jonathan!" She calls for Daddy.

"Am I a superhero?" I ask.

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I smile to myself at the memory. My mother was an amazing woman. She helped me through so much, and if it wasn't for her I would have been kicked out of my pack. We were the same. She understood me.

She might still be out there you know, Nika reminds me.

Yes, I know. I replied. But I don't want to fill myself with false hope.

Hope is a funny thing. If you have too little of it, you don't have any motivation. You loose all reason to live and you feel like life is a curse, possibly meant for your suffering. If you have too much of it, your whole being ends up believing the slightest, most impossible thing. It might lead to unbearable disappointment.

False hope is just as scary as no hope.

I see the pups playing biting at each other's ears. I feel a sense of longing, the same sense I have been feeling the past years, but more now. Seeing everyone so happy. I can feel the jealousy reaching my body, but I am soon snapped back into reality.

"We should get going," Robin sighs. "As much as I admire your rebelling behavior against my brother, I don't feel like getting slammed into another wall."

I let out a light laugh as we walked back to the pack house in silence.

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Robin lead me to Adam's room that evening. I could not ignore the annoyance that filled my body when she acted afraid of her brother.

"Well goodnight I suppose," I told her.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" She asked.

"I don't think you can get rid of me at this point." She laughed at my joke and turned to walk away. I slid into the room as she turned a corner and looked around me. A sudden wave of exhaustion hit me.

I quickly kicked off my denim shorts and wiggled myself out of my bra.

Much better.

I crawled into bed, but was interrupted by Adam falling into the room.

"Just get some sleep man," I heard a voice from outside.

"That's Alpha man to you!" Adam replied.

"What did you drink?" The voice outside chuckled. "You're piss drunk." At this the door slammed shut and Adam turned around and saw me in bed.

"Well, hello." He said while smirking.

"You're drunk?" I asked.

"Maybe," he replied. "Doesn't change the way I want to hop into that bed and help you out of the rest of your clothes."

"You're repulsive." I simply stated. "Don't touch me."

He came closer to the bed, but by the time he reached it (which was a few long seconds due to his drunk pace) I had slipped out.

"Oh, come on baby. Just let go." He wiggled his body in a ridiculous way. "Be free," He continued. This was not the Adam I knew

He came closer and closer to me, and I kept moving backwards, away from him. Suddenly my back hit a wall.

When he was close enough I yanked my hand up and slapped him hard in the face.

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A.N:

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