Royal Bonds | Y.Jw

| 2.11 |

As the train rolled along the tracks it would bump once in a while, causing Jungwon to tighten his grip on my legs, which he had let rest across his lap while he did some work on our way to China.

"How much work do you have left?" I murmured. Jungwon didn't even flinch he just finished writing down whatever before checking how many pages there were in his bunch.

"I only have seven pages left, maybe another hour," he excused as he went back to writing on the top paper, "why?"

"I'm just bored," I excused with a small shrug as I looked out the window I was leaning up against, "but it's fine. Just do your work."

"No, no, no. I can need a break," Jungwon excused and tapped my calf to get my attention, "what do you wanna do?"

"I don't think I have anything," I excused, "I was just bored and wanted to know how much work you have left. You can keep doing it if you'd like."

"I was thinking, when we get to China," Jungwon started and I just nodded in return, "we'll first get our room at the royal palace, and then we could go out and take a look around town."

"If you don't mind... I'd like to go see your sister first," I excused and he immediately nodded, "or maybe you should go see her first."

"We'll just do it together," he assured and waved it off.

"No, Jungwon. I'm serious, we do it by ourselves," I stated and he immediately snapped his head to me.

"What do you mean?" he questioned quietly, "why can't we do it together?"

"We can," I assured him, "but lately it's been like... I've barely done anything on my own, besides sitting in bed and feeling like shit. I kinda just want to... you know... be independent."

"So you don't want to spend time with me," Jungwon stated and I immediately shook my head, "then I don't understand."

"I love you, and I love spending time with you," I reminded, "but I really want some freedom, time where I can go out and do things by ourselves. I only had half of such a day in Busan. Lately I feel like our relationship have been very work oriented or 'oh you're deathly sick' oriented... do you get what I mean?"

"I think so..." he slowly nodded along with me, "so we need to get back to the part where our relationship is purely love and not worry and work."

"Please?" I whispered and he slowly nodded with a small frown on his face.

"But... this is what you married into," he reminded and I quietly shook my head, "it is Ji... you were aware how work related it would end up being."

"I married you because I love you, and I want my marriage to keep being about love and not what our duties are," I clarified, "I get that there are duties with my marriage, but I don't want them in private."

Jungwon stayed quiet as he just stared down at his papers, eventually bending back down over them again to continue writing. 

Immediately I began worrying about if I had worded anything wrong or slightly cryptic. I had tried to be as straight forward with it as possible, while also conveying that it wasn't that I didn't love him - but it was simply because I needed more freedom.

"Maybe we need a vacation," Jungwon spoke up and I looked back at him, instead of watching the passing landscape, "we could do that."

"We can't," I reminded him.

"Yeah we can," he waved it off, "after this trip to China everything should be settled for some weeks. We can take a vacation."

"I'm sorry, but I'm not staying in that castle for vacation," I shook my head making Jungwon just calmly shrug.

"The Japanese royal house has a cabin by the water in southern Japan. We can ask if we can borrow it for a small get away," Jungwon excused and I just shook my head before looking back out the window, "we can, Jiyeon."

"We're facing the threat of war with China. We're not gonna go for a get away in the midst of it," I reminded him.

"If everything goes well on this trip, we can do it," Jungwon pointed out.

I looked back at him in disbelief, just staring at his profile as he sat bent over his papers. He looked carefully at those papers, calmly letting his pen slide across the paper, creating a small scratching sound.

"Jungwon, we're facing war," I emphasized to him, only earning a nod as he straightened up and looked at me, giving me a simple shrug, "we're not going on some get away when the whole country relies on us, mostly you, in case something like that is to happen."

"You needed freedom and for our relationship to not be plagued by work," he pointed out and I let out a small sigh before running my hand through my hair.

"I want us to be able to do work and go out without one another every once in a while, as long as we can meet each other during the way or in the evening and after work, and just be a normal couple," I clarified, "I want a relationship that's driven by love and care, and not work and duties."

"But I don't understand where this is coming from... weren't we just fine? You knew what you married into," he repeated and I simply shook my head again.

"Jungwon, I would not have gone through all of the shit and troubles I did if I from the start knew that being with you would mean our relationship would revolve around our duties and me being deadly sick for a period," I defended making him let out a small sigh and run a hand through his hair.

"Let's talk about it tonight, maybe you'll be a bit more clear in the head then," he assured and patted my calf softly.

I immediately pulled my legs to myself and turned myself towards the window instead, hoping that Jungwon would just turn back to his work once again.