Moving On

Lonely Wolf

Lupin and the rest of the idiots had to be up to something. Why else would they be avoiding each other like a plague ? That's what Severus believed a week ago. But that theory was quickly discarded between hearing bits of gossip about the war amongst the Marauders, with theories ranging from: Lupin and Black have the same crush! Apparently they both got into a fight about it, to outright dumb theories such as one of them being possessed by the ghost of Merlin, of all people why in the world would Merlin pick those silly Marauders?

Severus sighed as he picked up his Transfiguration essay, skimming through it once more, he felt that something was off about it.

Suddenly, the chair right next to his was pulled and occupied, however, he did not even bat an eye.

"Don't bother me Regulus, I'm busy," he said instead.

"Erm... It's not Regulus," said a voice that surely didn't belong to Regulus. It sounded familiar to Severus though.

He turned to the direction of the voice. Remus Lupin sat there awkwardly scratching his neck.

Severus tensed up.

"What do you want?" Severus said, immediately gripping his wand and pointing it at Lupin.

Lupin raised his hands up in surrender, "Hey! I'm not trying to hurt you. I'm here to apologise!"

Severus narrowed his eyes at him, "Apologise for what?"

"For everything," Lupin said, softly, his eyes downcast and his ears dropping, reminding Severus of a kicked puppy.
Severus did not drop his wand.

"Speak," he said.

"I -- I'm sorry, you've been through so much and my friends and I just made it worse, we beat you while you were down. A very pathetic and cowardly thing to do in my opinion. And I genuinely thought that everything was going to get better last year, I thought my friends were going to start maturing and we could have a chance at being friends, but who knew that one of my best friends would try to lead you to your death through me? Who knew that he would be so reckless and hateful! Most of all, I could have committed murder that night! How was I going to live with myself?" Lupin was breathing erratically by the end of it, his face slightly red.

Severus sat in a disbelief for a moment, not so much at Lupins confession but more so at the internal thoughts he had through it. He was certain in the beginning that he would not take anything Lupin said as true, and that he was going to request for Lupin to get out of his sight the moment he finished. However, by the end of it, his thoughts were complicated, a strange mix between indignation, disbelief, sympathy, and understanding.

Severus sighed as he glanced up at the pleading eyes of the werewolf in front of him, he lowered his wand and commenced packing his books, Severus saw from the corner of his eye that Lupin visibly wilted. He did not know for what reason he said it, it just felt more like instinct to give Lupin an excuse to stop his pitiful puppy like behaviour.

Severus said, "I always knew you weren't as dumb as the others," before strutting out of the library.

                                                                                            ^_^^_^^_^

The next time he encountered Lupin was the Friday of the same week, Severus was sat under the oak tree near the Black Lake one evening as most of the school was indoors. Lupin just plopped himself down like the last time they met.

Severus was able to gain his mental strength after being away from Lupin for a while and decided that he did not want Lupin having any of his pity, Severus believed that he was too consumed by guilt, and that's not fair to Severus!