Well I've been deep in sleeplessness
I don't know why
Just can't get away from myself
When I get back on feet I'll blow this open wide
And carry me home in good health
God, it's been so long wide awake that I feel like someone else
I'll miss the way that you saw me or maybe the way I saw myself
But, I came back to you broken and I've been away too long
I hear the words I've spoken and everything comes out wrong
I just can't get this together, can't get where I belong
- Who Do You Love • Marianas Trench
"I don't understand what's happening?"
"I-"
"James!"
The blonde was trying his best to refrain, but the axe in his hand refused to drop. His grip was tight, but no matter how many times he loosened his fingers, they wouldn't release. Why couldn't he let it go.
Tears streamed down his face. He didn't mean for it to happen. He wanted to let it go.
"James! Just stop!"
He looked up, and saw the familiar dark eyes of Caspian. Fear layered his face in the form of sweat, but there was nothing he could do. Everything was in James' hands.
"I... I... Caspian. I can't stop." The water flowed from his eyes. "I- I want to. Why can't I?"
He stepped closer. He stepped forwards, and he couldn't stop. Why couldn't he stop.
"James!" The King cried out. "Jam-"
He was cut short as he dropped to the ground. His hands clutched his stomach. It revealed red liquid spewing from his abdomen.
He couldn't think of anything to do. James was lost. He'd just hurt Caspian. How did he do that?
"Caspian!" James cried dropping to his knees. The axe finally left his grasp, and he held the dark haired man close. "Caspian... please. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
⍟⍟⍟
"I'm sorry!" James screamed, his body bolting up right. Water rolled from his eyes, creating streaks down his cheeks. Then, in a whisper, he spoke softer. "I'm sorry."
Within minutes, James found himself above deck. He didn't care for the rain, however soaked he was. He didn't care for the cold it would give him.
The dream had felt so real. Everything felt so real.
Part of him couldn't work out what he was. Was he a human? Was he a creature?
No.
He was a monster.
That was it. He was a monster. That was all he would ever be. Who else had vivid dreams about killing their partner in the most gruesome way possible?
James didn't try and hide the tears as he clambered over the deck and hit his leg. He hissed in pain, but continued to find somewhere to sit.
He needed to sit and cry.
Sometimes that was what needed to happen.
YOU ARE READING
Living Through You || Caspian X
FanfictionWorld War 2 is still in full force, and James Pevensie was stuck unwillingly in England. More than anything, he wanted to be back in Narnia, and he knew his time was going to come. He just had to be patient. DO NOT COPY 41,821 words - The third an...
