𝔸 ℂ𝕠𝕦𝕣𝕥 𝕠𝕗 𝕊𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕤 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝔽𝕝𝕒𝕞𝕖 (ACOTAR FANFIC)

Forty

I felt out of place here. It was as though the world had moved on without me and I was left in the memories of our old life. It was stupid to assume that Elain and Nesta had waited for us. Had missed us.

    I didn't blame them. How could I? They didn't know their sisters had been sucked into Prythian where every day was a victory if you were left in one piece. I'd adapted to this life before and I could do it again.

    But it felt different this time. Like my body was here but my soul was somewhere far away. Like there was a tether that was pulling me. I hoped it would just go away.

    I had woken up with an odd sense of peace. Like my mind was resting in permanent calm. Though that calm was temporarily broken when I ran into Elain and she told me there would be a ball in honor of Feyre and I's return.

    All of the balls in this world were all so terribly dull. One of my friends from another world was a queen, all of the balls she held at her court were all more like parties. When I visited, she'd hold one and we'd all get drunk and end up playing some kind of game that involved stripping.

    The balls here were all so proper. All of the conversations were dull as dishwater, it was always "Have you heard of the new scandal? Mary picked up a stick! She's so improper!" or "Have you seen Sir Duncan Dudley Dingleberry Deaton Debauchery the third! He's so handsome!"

    I always had nothing to do and usually sat in the corner nursing a glass of the strongest liquor I could find around the house. I stayed for as long as needed so people knew I made an appearance before I went up into my bedroom and read a smutty novel the rest of the night.

    I walked downstairs, minding the blinding white floors that I'm sure the servants spent hours cleaning. I didn't want to make any more work for them, they worked hard enough as it is. I had figured it'd be nice to sit outside for a while, I craved the wind for a moment's reprieve.

    I stepped out of the backdoor closing my eyes and allowing the wind to whisper its secrets in my ears. I opened my eyes looking for somewhere to sit down and spotting a bench being occupied by my eldest sister.

I thought for a moment before I approached her. She was staring off, looking at some far-off thing. She hadn't yet noticed me as though her thoughts were so consuming that she was oblivious to the outside world.

    "Can I sit?" I asked Nesta and her head snapped to me so fast I was surprised her neck was still intact.

    "Wh—"

    "Great, thanks." I interrupted, sitting next to her. I could almost feel her annoyance.

    I closed my eyes once more, tipping my head towards the sun and letting the sun hit my face.

    I smiled at a thought that struck my mind, "Do you remember when we were young," I paused as I gathered my thoughts, "you used to chase me around the house and we'd play hide and seek." I spoke slowly, allowing my memories to take over,  "And then you'd read me my favorite stories about different adventures and lovers, you'd tell me 'You are my sister, Danika. We may not look the same or sound the same. But you are my family. Forever." I felt as the sting of tears began to form in my eyes, "And then you started pushing me away. Growing more distant until we were so far apart that I think you barely consider me family at all."

    I looked over to Nesta then, seeing her already staring at me with remorse, "Why do you hate me?" I asked her.

    Nesta looked away and began to stare off again, "I don't hate you." She spoke strongly, no trace of emotion in her voice. "I just..." she trailed off, "I just..."

    I looked at my sister as she struggled and decided to take a risk, grabbing her hand I put in my own. Nesta looked down at our hands and then at me, before she spoke, "After mother died, I wanted to protect us. I made myself into a wolf. Never letting anyone in. I just...I spent so long as a wolf, I don't know how to be anything else."

    I smiled at my sister, "When I was young, I was sent away. They did...bad things to us. I wanted to leave, but to do that, I had to do...terrible things, Nesta. Thing's I'll never be able to escape from. I became something I wasn't. But I don't know how to not be that anymore."

    Nesta regarded me with such curiosity as she spoke again, "Maybe—Maybe we can help each other."

    I looked at my sister, "I would like that."

    And so we smiled at each other and began to rebuild.

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

A/N: awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeee