What The Heart Wants (gxg)

Part 10

TW: This part alludes to a suicide attempt.

Blaze's comment on Halloween was fucking with my head.

Part of me thought it was some kind of joke. That she was just trying to embarrass me. It would make sense.

But the other part of me wanted to believe it.

I had no clue what to think. She was completely drunk when she said it- I also knew she was wasted because I heard her throwing up in the bathroom when I washed my face that night.

But is it true- that a drunk mind speaks a sober heart?

I wanted to ask her about it. But we didn't speak at all the week after Halloween, and I didn't see her much. Even in the class that I sat next to her in- she gave me nothing. Not even a glance.

I needed to ask her about it. If what she said was actually true. It was driving me crazy.

I asked Samantha about it the week after Halloween, that Friday.

"I know it's been on your mind like crazy." she said as we walked back from our last class to the castle in the windy, cold November weather. "Why don't you just ask her?"

"I've been wanting to- but I've been chickening out. Do you think she actually meant it?"

"I do. One, how could she not? And two, she just did not seem like she was lying." Samantha insisted, "But you have been thinking about this all week. You need to ask her."

"Fine. Next time I see her, I'll ask if we can talk."

I didn't see Blaze again until later that night- when I was already tucked into bed and the lights were off in the room. She came walking in, quietly, in her pajamas, dark hair in a low ponytail.

I got up from my bed. I didn't care. I needed to talk to her.

I walked over to her bed, trying to not creak any of the wooden floors.

She was sitting on her bed, taking off a necklace she was wearing. Or at least trying to.

She looked at me when I stood in front of her- but she didn't say anything. She kept fiddling with her necklace.

"Do you need help with that?" I whispered to Blaze.

"No. I'm fine." she said, hands behind her neck, fiddling with the necklace.

I waited a moment. I was getting tired of her not being able to take this necklace off.

"Turn around." I whispered, "I'm taking this damn necklace off for you."

Even in the dark I could see Blaze roll her eyes. But she got up on her bed and sat, back facing me.

It was hard to see the clasp on her silver necklace, but I gently moved her ponytail to the side and found the clasp. It took me a few tries to get it undone, but I found success.

Even being close to Blaze to take off a necklace of hers made me feel something.

I handed the necklace to her, and she turned around.

"Thanks." she said, setting the necklace down on her night stand, "What do you want?"

"Can we talk. Outside the room?"

"Can't it wait? I'm pretty tired."

"No. I've been wanting to talk to you about it all week."

Blaze stood up. "Fine. Let's go. You're clearly not going to leave me alone."