Can you love me?

Chapter Four: Guilt

Natasha's POV: 

That was it. I'd hurt wanda. I didn't mean to. Not really. I rushed out of the room, i couldn't believe i'd really hurt her. I could, this was right. I was trained to do this. I made my way over to a private room- Tony had built a room where he said i could do whatever i wanted in so i made it my dance studio- I grabbed the spare pair of pointe shoes from the cabinet and put on some classic musical ballet music. I danced. I danced my heart out. "AGAIN. WE WILL NOT STOP UNTIL YOU LAND YOUR GRAND JETÉ!" I failed. Again. And again. My feet were bleeding but all i could hear were her words. "AGAIN ROMANOVA YOU WILL NOT LEAVE UNTIL TOU DO THIS AND FOR EACH YOU FAIL YOU WILL DO TEN MORE." I was exhausted. I could not cry. I could not do anything. Just continue. Then i landed correctly. Somehow i managed to complete 20 in a row. It was done. I was free. The loop, i loved dancing but it brought back, something. Something that i never wanted to experience again. I realised i didn't have a bottle so i checked the time before heading to the communal kitchen. Wow. I'd been at this for 4 hours, they will all be in the dining room eating, i should be fine. I slung my pointe shoes off and chucked my trainers on along with my hoodie but i winced at the pain of my feet. They were stained red and i sighed knowing my white shoes wouldn't be white for much longer.

I quietly made my way downstairs telling Jarvis not to notify the others of my arrival. I didn't want to bump into anyone, i didn't want to speak to anyone, i'd probably get told off anyway. I honestly didn't mean to hurt Wanda, but who would believe me anyway? My word, the infamous black widow- trained assassin who's killed, well a lot- over an innocent girl who got mixed up with some bad people. Yeah, i'd go with Wanda's word too. The kitchen was empty so i tried to make my job as quick as possible. Then Fury rang. Of course. I picked up and sighed before hearing him speak. "Do not move Agent Romanoff. You need to listen to me very carefully." I hadn't been on a mission in months. Not since, not since they found out i was- i was a little. Was that them? Did they do that? "Natasha. Where are you right now?" Fury asked almost angrily down the phone. I flinched at the anger in his tone but quickly composed myself before answering. "The avengers compound Sir. In the kitchen to be exact." I chuckled a bit at the end bit but shut up when i realised how serious he sounded. "Is everything okay? Am i needed? I can be ready in 10 minutes. No make that 5. I can help." I rushed to get my words out just wanting to be back on the job. "No need for that Agent Romanoff but i do need you to quietly make your way to the living room, there is not threat. Wait there. Do not leave and most importantly don't hurt anybody you know. That will be all Agent." I heard a beep and looked down at my phone to see he had hung up. Great. Classic Fury. Unbelievable. I grabbed my water and stealthily made my way to the living room. Once i got there, i grabbed my gun from my holster. As i went in i heard whispering, never a good sign. Was that Clint's laugh? No. I moved in and before i knew it i was bombarded with "SURPRISE!" and "BOO!" and "GOT YOU!"

I froze. I looked around and saw everyone. Fury, Steve, Vision, Bucky, Sam, Rhodey, Tony and... Wanda? She was smiling? But i hurt her. Why? What was this? Steve passed me a piece of paper that read 'It's okay. Your safe.' I was so.. confused. I walked over to the coffee table where everyone was sitting and saw the bottle i was looking for a few months ago. My tablets. They took the bottle for my tablets??? On the table there were my tablets and my, no, a pacifier? The gray one. "Nat, we have options for you okay?" Clint said softly from his seat. My eyes snapped to him in an instant i had picked up the bottle, opened it and found. It was full? There must've been at least 20 Fresh red tablets sitting there. "How did you? Did you steal the recipe? Ive been trying to recreate them for MONTHS? How did you? Are these mine? Can i have them? please. i need them Clint." I stuttered on almost every word, i was so shocked. They did this? "Nat, one, calm down and two, let me speak. You can either take the tablets. No judgements. Free and we can make you more. Or you can see just for a day at how being you is. The real you. And judging by your feet i think it might be the better option." Clint's voice was still soft but had a type of assertiveness in the last part. I blushed and started playing with my nails, i didn't know what to do. I wanted to just take the tablets and leave but, did i want to know if i had been missing out? A day couldn't hurt right? I looked up to find all eyes of me. I hated that. "So, i-if i choose to be, uhm if i choose to be me, and don't like it, i can still take the tablets afterward?" I looked at them hoping they would say yes. Then wanda spoke. "Yes, we just want you to try, we want to help i promise you are safe." I practically melted into myself at her words. "O-otay." I whispered.

"Good girl. You want some help or you think you can do it on your own? The first time slipping can be hard hmm?" Suddenly Rhodes was talking to me. "Wands helps?" I looked from Rhodey to Wands hopefully. I saw Wands eyes light up, maybe she didn't hate me after all.