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"Have it," he said. She snapped and looked at him standing tall. She sat by the window seat while he was near her seat. The bus was crowded and Heeseung had given his seat to an expecting mother.
Something Yujin had always admired about Heeseung was that he was kind and gentle. He was helpful and didn't have an ego. Well, though it's not like you'll get it all if you're kind so Heeseung had to face some harsh comments plenty of times and Yujin was furious everytime. She would always tell him to stop being pure as milk but he'd just chuckle and ruffle her hair.
He handed her a piece of candy.
"Candy ? Seriously Heeseung ? You're not a kid anymore" Yujin chuckled playfully, picking up the candy from his hand and carefully unwrapping it and tossing it into her mouth.
"Well you had it so don't complain" he grinned but Yujin looked at him as if she was hesitating to ask something.
"I had just one left so I didn't take it out when Hana was here"he said, clearing her doubt.
She smiled at him and turned to the window. She coughed twice and hit her chest lightly when she felt the urge to throw up again. quickly rummaging through the bag, she picked out some pills and tossed two of them into her mouth.
"Hey, have you been sick ?" Heeseung questioned, genuinely worried about it. "Jinie, please don't hide anything from me. You know I'm here for you, right ? Please don't fall sick, how will I survive without you ?"
Heeseung, why are you being like this? She wanted to tell him. These actions of yours make my heart race.
"It's just cold, Hee," Yujin replied.
"Hey, you called me that after such a long time," he teasingly smiled.
The seat beside Yujin became vacant and Heeseung plopped down. There was heavy traffic and though Yujin could have easily reached home before the bus reached if she got off the bus, she didn't because Heeseung was with her. She wanted to always cherish her moments with him.
"Stop it, Hee," Yujin grinned, turning towards the window.
Heeseung smiled at him and took out his phone and a pair of earphones and plugged one bud to her ear and saved one for him and played a soft playlist. Yujin was taken aback as she turned to him with a confused stare.
"Geez, let's listen to some music, good for your health," Heeseung said.
No one spoke for a few minutes. Yujin coughed and covered her mouth with her hand. A small yellow petal dropped on her hand and she quickly brushed it off; then Yujin broke the silence.
"You're a good person, Hee."
"Huh ? What's up with you ?" Heeseung said.
"It's just that, when you're around, i feel happy, thanks" she smiled, a tear visible at the corner of her eyes.
"Woa woa, hey hey, I'm always here, don't be like this" he said as he worried rushed his left hand and brushed off the tear with his thumb.
Yujin smiled painfully, holding back the struggle against the dandelions.
―
She threw up immediately when she reached home. yellow petals covered the entire bathroom floor. Hair tied in a messy bun, face tired from the pain, a messed up heart and scattered feelings.
Lee Heeseung. The guy who was the sole reason for it all. But why couldn't she just tell him ? She didn't have the courage. She was afraid of the heartbreak. But why would she be heartbroken ? Did Heeseung never see her as more than a friend ?
Does he never feel butterflies in his stomach when he sees me ? She thought.
She was quick enough to change when she heard her dad knock on the door.
"Dad ?"
"Yujin, are you okay ?" Her father asked.
"I'm fine, dad"
"You are not, Yujin. Do you think I do not notice you throwing up everytime you come back from school ? I've seen your pills but waited for you to tell me but it seems like you didn't want to." Her father said.
Yujin didn't reply, she sat on the bed and her father sat beside her. She didn't want to make her parents worry about her. After all, she has expected something like, 'you are too young to be in love' or 'you are so young, you don't even know what love is'.
"Dad, I'm so messed up" she said as he gently patted her back.
"What is wrong with the flowers ? Dandelions ? Indeed beautiful flowers. Is it a boy ?Is he concerning you ?" Her father said. A tear escaped her eye, she felt how pure it was for her dad to think of it.
"D-dad, i have hanahaki" she shuttered.
Her dad did not reply. Rather he took some time to analyse the situation.
"H-how, Y-yujin―
"I'm sorry for being in love, dad. Five year definitely is a long time but―
"Yujin, no," she was cut off by her father, "never apologize for being in love. There's nothing wrong with being in love. It's okay to love someone, it's okay to be affectionate. I'm rather happy for you to have someone who gives you butterflies. But your condition. It isn't good."
"Dad, what should I do ? I don't want to die but then I don't want to take the surgery dad" she sobbed as she hugged her father.
"Why don't you want to have the surgery ?"
"They said it's risky"
"I can't afford to lose you just like that," her father replied in a soft tone.
"I'll have the surgery after I confess to him, dad. If I get rejected, I will have it" she promised him.
