𝗗𝗔𝗡𝗗𝗘𝗟𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗦↷이희승

- fourteen : hana speaks

note : just to let y'all know, there will be 2 more chapters (excluding this) in which, the different characters in the story will tell their own version of some unspoken feelings which will be from their point of view. so, here we go, starting with Hana .

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you've been reading the story from Yujin's point of view all this time. It's always her, she has always been the main character.

Meanwhile I'm the one who's supposed to be a filler. Not like I'm jealous of her.

But let me tell you how I view the situation all this while.

Honestly, I've known Heeseung and Yujin only from my highschool years when I transferred here. Yes, probably this sounds like such a common transfer-student-cliche love story.

Yujin likes Heeseung, more like, she loves her for 'likes' would be too little a word to describe the feeling; she's known him since forever and I'd be lying if i never felt that she had a strange affection towards Heeseung even in the first few months of our friendship.

And he confessed to having feelings for me, but heeseung, do you really like me ? Or are you just trying to avoid the feeling of falling in love with Kim Yujin ?

I still remember how you'd joke about falling for her, were they really jokes ?

Yes, I rejected you, I did that for Yujin. She deserves you in everything while I don't. I really don't, Heeseung, I don't. But that doesn't mean I've never liked him.

I've felt my heart skip beats whenever he had remembered every little thing about me, I've felt a strange knock at the closed doors of my heart whenever he's hugged me. And I remember every moment when he had cared for me more than Yujin but she's his comfort place.

He had only bothered to call me, to think about me when he is disturbed by Yujin. How can I not feel being used ?

So I'm using Yujin; she's the only reason I can stay close to Heeseung. Let me confess a naked truth, I like Heeseung, maybe not on Yujin's level, but I'd take care of him if he gave me a chance, oh no, he did. He did give me a chance, but I declined. Just for that one girl, Kim Yujin.

I'm going crazy Yujin, sometimes I feel happy that you've hanahaki and I thank God that I don't. Because if you're not then, only then maybe Heeseung will look at me, truly, in an actual loving way and I will not see that unspoken heartbreak in his eyes everytime he confesses his love to me.

Because only if Yujin is not there will Heeseung call me, spend night walks with me, share an ice-cream with me, share with me his joys and pain, only if she's not here. Gosh, I sound so desperate and jealous. But believe me, I am jealous of Yujin. I'm jealous how she gets all the pity, all the love.

I'm sorry if I sound so rude but if you notice, I am always ignored, I'm not important. Those two wouldn't be able to stay away from each other, but no one would bother if I'm not there, I'm a filler.

I get insecure whenever he talks about Yujin. I feel like I'm not worthy enough. I may act all cool and smart but then I'm weak when it comes to this. The way he says my name, it feels surreal but the way he talks of her, it seems that you're the one for him.

I did reject him coldly but if he did love me to that extent, would he not have been upset with me ? Damn, I sound so reckless and maybe I am so. But Yujin bothered his mind more. It hurts, it hurts so much to see him like this and sometimes if I'll soon develop hanahaki. I'm sorry...

But.....I'm not heartless, I have feelings and although I may hold some grudge against Yujin for being the one who Heeseung would end up choosing, I feel sad for you, Yujin.

Bitch, you cannot leave me, no no, I'm going to make you take the surgery, I DON'T CARE IF I LOSE HEESEUNG, b-because i may move on from my first love but i can never move on from the pain of losing her, no, i can't afford to lose you, Yujin.

I'm sorry for everything, Yujin.

Heeseung, you're such a damn idiot, I know you love Yujin, you depend on her, she occupies a little part of you, please get her and take care of her before it's too late. Whenever you're with her, you feel alive.

But no matter what happens, I'll stay by both your sides, if anything ever happens to any of you, just to let you know, I'll always comfort you two. Because at the end of the day, you all showed me the happiness I thought I had lost.

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note : also please don't hate on Hana for whatever she's spoken, it's all her own feelings and honestly, Hana has to be one of the insecure characters I've loved

also, another update before i go and die with studies cause it's my birthday and why not