Hidden ||Jasper Hale||

Twenty one : Here

A/N the song that is later in this chapter goes along to, "Play this when I'm gone" by Machine Gun Kelly.

It has been a month since my birthday. It is great to know about my adoption. I am really thankful.

I haven't heard from Jasper or seen his face for another month and it is really hurting me. I am starting to have nightmares and my eating habits are deteriorating. I only have one meal a day which is usually a half of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I lost 15 pounds. I also get drunk 3 times a week off of vodka or beer. I hide it under my bed.

I wake up from a nightmare and I look at the clock, 2:00 am. I groan and lay there and think.

'What if I go to his house?'

I spring out of bed and I put on one of his sweaters and sweats. I get in the truck and drive up the mountain to the Cullen's house.

When I get in their driveway, it sit in the truck and overthink.

'What if this makes things worse?'

I shake my head and go to the front door, I hesitate but then open it, I walk in and all the furniture is still there, except covered with dust. I walk into Jaspers room and I see his couch. I sit on it and remember the things we did on it.

I get up and see that all of Jaspers music is gone, except for one disc labeled, "To my darlin' Cam." My eyes open wide and I grab it and drive home. I quietly run to my room and boot up my DVD player. I plug in my headphones and push play.

"Hey Cam, I know it might be hard without me, but I want you to hear my voice, I might have been gone for a few months when you find this disc, but I am singing a song for you. I know you like to sing, so I stopped singing some parts so then you can make your own verse." I smile and turn up the volume.

"I'm writing you this message just so I can say that I love you.
I had to let you know that everything about me was you, yeah.
I think it's time for me to leave, but I'll never leave you.
I just looked at your pictures, so the last thing I did was see you."

I sing. "I'm 18, my anxiety's eating me alive.
I'm fightin' with myself and my sobriety every night.
And last time I couldn't barely open up my eyes, I apologize."

He sings again. "I'm not gonna lie and tell you it's alright, it's alright.
You're gonna cry and, baby, that's alright, it's alright.
I wrote you this song to keep when I'm gone
If you ever feel alone.
You're gonna cry and, baby, that's alright, it's alright."

I start crying and I smile.

'He still loves me.'

I keep playing the song over and over and I recorded my own lyrics into it.

                                        
                                         ***

A few days later, I eat well again, I only get drunk once a week and Bella is even getting better. She has been hanging out with Jacob and she says that they are going cliff diving tomorrow. I'm happy that she's happy.

Bella and I are standing at the cliff.

"Bella? Shouldn't you wait for Jacob?" I ask.

"No, I'll be fine." Bella says. She jumps.

"BELLA!!!!" I scream. I jump in after her and the waves crash over me. I go under and see someone grab her. It looks like Jacob.

The waves tumble me to shore and Jacob is doing cpr on Bella. She spits out water and then we drive home.

"Bella, why the gel would to do that?!" Jacob asks.

"I just needed a rush." Bella says.

We get out side the house and I see Carlisle's car. I freeze.

'A-are they? Th-they can't be.'

Bella argues with Jacob and I run inside.

"Carlisle?! Anyone?!" I yell. I turn on the lights and I see Alice.

"A-am I dreaming?" I ask.

Alice says, "nope." I run over and hug her.

"Is Jasper back?" I ask. Alice smirks and looks at the staircase. Tears fall down my face and I run into my room. There he is.

I run as fast as I can and I jump and wrap my arms and legs around him. I start crying and I dig my head into his neck.

"Hey darlin'. It's alright. I'm here." Jasper says. He rubs my back. I am practically shaking.

"I-is this real?" I ask.

"Of course darlin'." Jasper says.

I smile and look into his golden eyes. He kisses me and I kiss him back. A very passionate kiss. We pull away.

"D-don't leave me." I say.

"I'm not leaving you ever again." Jasper says. He hugs me tighter. I also hug him tighter.

We both lay on the bed and Jasper puts his sweater on me. I take my wet clothes off and he grabs me some sweats. He is left with a white tank top and shorts. We get under the covers. I hold onto him for dear life. I can't loose him again. He kisses my forehead.

I fall asleep, still holding onto him.