Prologue

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He stared up at the cherry blossom tree, holding his left hand up to catch a falling flower from the subtle breeze. He brought it close to him so he can study the delicate pink flower. He watched as the flower hardened, the color fading into a softer shade with a soft tint of orange, making the color have a pink peach like shade. Gold trimming traced the petal and the center of the flower turned into gemstones. A gold stem with three pearls formed behind the flower as well.

"Bucky!" She called out.

Her voice.

A familiar kind voice that kept haunting his mind over and over again. The sound of her calling his name was like sweet music that he wanted to listen to over and over again. He questioned why would this voice be so important to him. He couldn't understand it. He looked ahead to see a girl with black hair with shades of brown and honey along her long hair. She stared out into the lake, never looking at him, but he only heard her voice. She tilted her head towards his direction as she swept her hair to the side.

"Can you help me?"

He looked back down at the flower to see a gold chain was now looped through the flower pendant. He placed the necklace on her. His heart fluttered as his fingertips brushed along her soft skin. He placed his hands gently on her shoulders as soon as he clasped the necklace around her neck.

"Thank you. How do I look?" She asked him as she slowly turned around. Another memory overlapped, showing her screaming in pain while she was cuffed to memory wiping machine.

He knew that moment.

It was the moment where he was ordered to carve into her skin. He watched her pleading eyes fill with tears as he carved into her skin, watching the way she thrashed on the chair. Somehow, he could feel his own arm being sliced open from the radiating blade. Even if it hurt him physically and emotionally to hurt her, he had no choice. He couldn't disobey his order.

He felt her hand touch his cheek which caused Bucky to look at her. Her arm was now carved, blood seeping down the wound. She pulled him down so their foreheads were touching. His eyes closed, enjoying her gentle touch—yearning for it. Warmth seeped through his body causing his body to relax from just a simple touch.

"I love you." She whispered brokenly. When her eyes opened, a single tear leaked from her eye. Bucky's eyes followed the tear until it fell from her chin. He looked back up at her as she uttered, "Stay with me..."


Bucky sat up from the floor, gasping for air. He grunted, rubbing his eyes in frustration. His journal was on top of the refrigerator. Bucky would sometimes have three memories replay in his mind where he could physically feel himself killing someone or hear the gunshot as though he pulled the trigger right in the room. He usually remembered to grab the journal before he went to sleep, but for some reason, he forgot tonight. Instead, he grabbed a crumpled piece of paper and a small pencil that was nearby. He drew out the cherry blossom necklace on one side and then flipped to the other side so that he could draw the girl he dreamt about.

He knew this girl was the Luna, another Hydra assassin that he worked with. However, those memories would blend with other memories of where they were in New York together. On top of that, he remembered the visions she had him see when they fought each other back in Lake Minnewanka,

Bucky finished the drawing and stared at the picture of the Luna—Iliana. He remembered that she called herself Iliana from the memories. He knew that there was something about her, but he didn't want to believe it. After all that was done by his hands, she couldn't love him. He could tell before they were taken by Hydra—before the memory wipe.

They were in love.

Whenever he saw her face, he would remember conversations that involved his feelings for her. His own words softly uttered the words he once spoke about Iliana.

'No matter what, you need to put her first before me when it comes to safety.'

'If there ever comes a time where it's either her or me, I will always choose her before myself. I will give my life for her just to keep her safe.'

Bucky's head began to throb from hearing those confessions. He rubbed his forehead, huffing in frustration as his head pounded more and more with each word that was said.

'I failed to protect her before, I can't make that mistake again.'

'Because I'm in love her.'

Bucky got up from his small bed and walked to the refrigerator. He folded the sheet before he slipped it into his journal and closed the book harshly. There was a part of him that wanted to go to her, but at the same time, he couldn't. It was too dangerous for him and for her. No matter what kind of urge he had, he knew that the best thing to do was to stay away from her. Through his memories, he knew how important Iliana was to him, but no matter what, it was best to keep his distance until he knew more about himself. Furthermore, he needed to be certain Hydra or anyone couldn't get inside his head ever again.

Either way, his mind was too confused. He was too lost trying to find out more about himself. He also needed to figure out who the man with the shield was. There were many memories of him in Bucky's mind.

Steve Rogers and Iliana.

Bucky needed to find out more. He needed to see what was true or not and he knew exactly where to go in order for him to get some answers. The risks for him to find out the truth was dangerous. It could draw out people of Hydra to come after him or the government. He could get himself killed, but he needed to know the truth. That's all that mattered to him.

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