The Twelfth Moon || ✔️

30. Benjamin's Letter

My hands were trembling as I unfolded his letter, careful not to rip it. Tears welled up in my eyes almost instantly as I started reading his letter.

Dearest Sari,

I just met your new friend yesterday. She seems nice. I'm a bit saddened that you did not make the trip with her, although I can't say I do not understand why you chose to stay away. But I would have loved to see you again.

I am glad to hear you are doing okay. We are doing well, too. Sam's beard has finally started growing, albeit not much. His whining however, has not stopped. But still, I've got nothing to complain about. All my children are still with me, even if you are only present in my thoughts.

I've walked by your house a few times, reminding myself each time you're really gone. I cannot begin to express how much I miss you. I know I could never replace Franco, nor would I ever try, but over the years you've become like a daughter to me, too. But however much I miss you, I am even more happy to hear that you are starting over. You deserve so much in your life, and none of it can be found here in Spitta.

If one day you should find yourself wandering about, please remember that your stool at the bar will still always be yours.

Until we meet again, I will always cherish the moments we enjoyed together at The Dancing Wolf.

May you find the best, because you deserve nothing less.

Benjamin

A teardrop fell down and stained the letter, right next to where Benjamin signed his name. I gently dipped the tear-stain away, and folded the letter back up, careful not to soil it any more. I already knew that this letter was now one of my most prized possessions.

"Thank you," I whispered in a trembling voice.

Lotta swung her arm over my shoulders and pulled me in a sideways hug. "There's nothing to thank me for."

"Did he.. Did he look okay?" Beckett had threatened him on our way to the Castle. If he would have done anything to Benjamin, it wouldn't have healed by now. Lotta would have seen. She'd know.

"He looked perfectly fine," she reassured me. "He's a very nice man. I can see why you're so fond of him."

I nodded. "He is like a father to me."

"He spoke of you like you are a daughter of his, too," she said.

I blinked some tears away. I did not want Lotta's return to be so full of sorrows. Even though I didn't think she minded. "I've found a job," I blurted out, in an attempt to talk of better things.

Lotta seemed to take the bait. "Really? Where?"

"The Puny Bell." Lotta raised her eyebrows. She didn't seem to know The Puny Bell either. "It's a small bar in the human parts of the city."

"Oh. How did you stray so far?"

I shrugged my shoulders, not wanting to admit to the harshness of the truth. "I just stumbled upon it when I was walking around town."

Lotta squinted her eyes. "You're a terrible liar, Sari. I might have to teach you a thing or two."

"What? No," I said offended, yet busted at the same time.

Lotta rolled her eyes as a teasing smile appeared on her face. "Come on, let's go eat."

Dinner was even better now that Lotta was back. The absence of my anxiety seemed to make the food even more tasteful.

Lotta had dragged me with her and sat me down at the table with her and some of her friends. Most of them ignored my presence, but two of them greeted me. But more than a 'good evening' was too much to ask. Still, getting a greeting was one big step forward already.

The group was cheering and laughing, as if Lotta hadn't just disappeared for half a lunar cycle. I knew where she'd gone to, but to everyone else, whatever was discussed in that meeting was something unknown. I didn't even believe anyone knew there had been one in the first place.

Still, they didn't seem to care that she'd been gone. None of them asked where she'd been or why she'd left. They only knew she came back, smiling, with a tortured man by her side.

Then again, for the short amount of time where I knew Lotta, just disappearing for multiple days at a time didn't seem that out of character, either.

The table at the front, where Aven, Jerr, Feytan and Mallee usually sat, was empty. It didn't take a fool to figure out they were probably dealing with Dexter. Would he still be alive by now? And where would they hold him?

I shook my thoughts away, refusing to let myself think about Dexter before I'd need another one of those cups of myrteloch tea. Instead, I listened in on the conversation Lotta and her friends were having.

They were talking of some superficial things, dropping names I did not recognize. I found it quite difficult to make sense of the stories they were talking about, but I laughed along with them whenever someone appeared to have said something funny.

I excused myself as soon as I finished my food and got up to go back to my room. As I said goodbye to Lotta, she invited me to join them for drinks after dinner. However, by the glares the others were giving me, I felt like I'd intruded on their group enough already as it was, so I politely declined.

The exhaustion of today's events was starting to wear down on my body as well, so I didn't even know if I'd be able to reach whatever bar they were going to without crashing down along the way.

But the second I was alone in my room, the dark thoughts of Dexter and Beckett consumed my mind again. I eventually fell asleep, feeling suffocated by all the anxiety that was growing in me.

Judging by the quality of my sleep, it was no surprise when I awoke not feeling well-rested. I'd woken up several times because of nightmares. I'd spent all night reliving everything they'd ever done to me. My mind had even gone so far to imagine new things Dexter would now be able to do, given he was here, in Rahas.

I assumed he was still alive. Aven had made such a show of publicly executing that one guard, so I'd be surprised if he wouldn't do the same for Dexter. Besides, the entire city was aware Dexter was here and they longed for revenge, too. How much longer he had to live, I wasn't sure. I hoped he didn't have much time left.

I forced myself to get out of bed and put on some clothes. I didn't want to give Feytan a second opportunity to empty a cold bucket of water over me because I didn't make it to breakfast in time. I put on some clothes that were freshly washed, trying to start this day as brightly as I could.

I wasn't surprised to find Lotta wasn't at breakfast yet. She was probably still in bed, sleeping off a hangover or maybe just recovering after all the secrecy that went down in Fire Moon.

Aven, Jerr, Feytan and Mallee were however all seated at the table in the front. None of them showed any sign of distress, or anything else that could indicate anything about how things were going in regards to Dexter.

I made myself a bowl of oats and milk and took some fruit with me before I walked over to one of the tables in the back.

I began cutting up my ribag, mixing the smaller pieces with my oats. The bland taste of the oats still hadn't improved over the weeks, but Feytan insisted I had a good breakfast before training every day.

I was so busy cutting up my ribag, I hadn't noticed Aven had walked over to me until he stood right next to me.

"There will be no training today," Aven said coolly.

"Why? Did I do something wrong?" I asked him.

"That is still to be determined," he answered, a little hum supporting his tone. "Dexter has requested to speak with you."