The Twelfth Moon || ✔️

73. The Betrayal

"No, no, no," I murmured, more to myself than to him. The realization of what I had just uncovered, slashed my heart into pieces with a shard of ice. The cold, brutal and sickening feeling of betrayal took over, controlling every single cell in my body.

My eyes floated toward the ground. I couldn't look at his face anymore, at his green eyes that had me falling and drowning. My head started spinning. "No, no, no." I think I was crying, but I couldn't pinpoint exactly at what point in this revelation that had begun again.

"Sari, please, let me explain," he begged me.

"How-" I had to gasp for air. My lungs couldn't fill anymore. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't breathe. "How could you do this?" I still didn't dare to look up at him.

"Sari, I promise I have a good reason, just please, please look at me."

I couldn't. I couldn't look at him. I wasn't sure if I could ever look at him again.

"All this time," I panted. "I trusted you." I turned around, my back facing him. My eyes tried to hold steady on the spinning ground, a feeble attempt to regain my balance. But to no avail. My dizziness paved the way for nausea, and I felt the sudden urge to empty my stomach contents. But I couldn't. I couldn't break down.

Not in front of him.

Not ever again.

"Aven trusted you," I said, tears flowing everywhere in between. Even though my eyes were emptying themselves at a steady tempo, inside I felt numb. I didn't feel sad, or angry. I didn't feel myself crying, it was just an automatic reaction my body was having. I could only feel the burning, suffocating, and yet still numbing sensation of betrayal, perhaps the worst feeling I'd ever encountered. The pressure on my heart. If feelings could ever be heard, my heart felt loud. "What has he ever done to you? What have I ever done?"

Jerr grabbed my arm, gently but with an urge behind it, trying to get me to look up. I pulled my arm out of his grasp.

"Don't touch me," I spat at him. I finally found the courage to turn around and face him. To stare into those green eyes. But I didn't see the green that made me feel safe and calm. That made me feel at home.

I saw a green so vicious and vile, it tore me up from the inside and left me open on the cobblestones, waiting for my soul to slowly rot away. I saw him and Beckett, scheming together. I saw all our time together, our love for each other. But all of it was covered in blood and betrayal. All of it had been a lie, a game.

My mind was screaming. I didn't care if Jerr could hear me. He already knew everything there was to know. He'd played me. And he'd won. I had fallen for him. Sun burn me, I had actually fallen for him.

"Sari, please," Jerr said. His eyes were watery too, and his cheeks were tear-stained. But I didn't care. I didn't want to wipe them away. I didn't want to console him. I wanted to leave, to run, to never come back. But I couldn't move anymore. "You've seen it yourself what a sunburned dangerous wolf Aven is. Don't pretend you've never questioned his methods."

"And Beckett is so much better?" I huffed.

"No, Beckett's just as bad, I know. Please, let me explain," he begged again, holding off my body from leaving. I hadn't even noticed that I'd tried.

"Don't touch me," I bit, easily freeing myself from his grasp. "Aven took you in. He saved you!"

Jerr raised his hands to his ruffled brown hair, hair I'd loved to have ruffled my fingers in only moments ago. Hair my fingers had played with, just a few nights ago. He looked away from me, frantically looking around, before he spat out, "Who do you think I needed saving from?"