The Twelfth Moon || ✔️

59. Strong Moon pt. 2

"Until death?" I asked.

"Yes," Jerr answered dryly, keeping his fast pace as he kept walking ahead nervously.

I hasted behind him, trying my best to ignore my draining legs. "Is it a ritualistic thing you say when someone dies?"

"Mostly, yes. But it can sometimes be used as a goodbye, too."

"That sounds like an awful way to say goodbye to someone," I thought.

He lightly chuckled at my comment, a sound that made my heart feel warm and light. "Yeah," he sighed. "It's quite a permanent goodbye. You only say it when..."

"When you never want to see someone again," I finished for him.

"No, not really," he said. When he looked back and saw my confused face, he quickly clarified, "It's not used when you don't want to see someone again, but more... when you're sure you never will see them again. Wanting or not doesn't really have anything to do with it. But when you say nidhatos to someone, it means you won't see them until after Death."

"So... It's basically the last sneer one can make at someone?"

"No, not at all," Jerr said, his head shaking. "Nidhatos is used more in a way of respect. Respect for life, if not the person. That man earlier, for example, I had absolutely zero good intent for him. But I did take his life, a life that was maybe filled with friends, and family. A life that I took. And I respect that. In that way, not saying anything at all would be the bigger disrespect."

"That makes sense," I admitted.

"A lot of things in Death Moon do," he answered, gently. I saw a soft smile return to his face, and when my hand grazed his arm, I felt his muscles relax underneath my touch. "Death is honored in Death Moon," he continued.

"That's quite obvious," I countered.

Another chuckle that flowed out of him, made my heart chirp as if it were a bird, waking to a golden sun. "Yes," he answered, mimicking annoyance, "but even more so than you think. Death isn't seen as the end of life. It's seen as something on its own entirely, a new kind of life, so to speak. A life one can only join when they have permanently abandoned their life on Zyama, and one they cannot leave ever again."

"Do you believe that, too?"

He raised his shoulders, pondering his answer. "I want to. I really do. But I find it hard to believe things I haven't seen proof of."

The way he spoke those words, reminded me of someone who knew loss. Who had felt grief.

"Yes," he sighed. I hadn't even realized my thoughts were loud again, Sun burn me. "This war has been going on for longer than you think. Almost everyone has known loss in one way or another, at this point. Even Beckett."

"Really? Beckett?" My eyes nearly popped out of my head in disbelief.

Jerr laughed innocently, those devilish eyes turning towards me. "You truly think that Dexter was the first time Aven lashed out at Beckett? This has been going on for years."

"I never knew of Beckett losing anyone close to him," I stated. The whispers on the streets had never spoken of it, either.

"He doesn't like to show weakness, as you're well aware. He tried covering it up as much as he could. And given it never even happened in Spitta, that wasn't the hardest thing to do."

"What did happen?"

"I'm not entirely sure myself," he said. "It happened before I joined Death Moon, and Aven isn't very talkative about that kind of thing. But from the whispers I've heard, Beckett found his elderly mother, dead and bloodied in his ancestral home."