𝙱𝚞𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚏𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝙾𝚏 𝙷𝚘𝚙𝚎~𝙹𝚞𝚍𝚎 𝙱𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚑𝚊𝚖

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝙵𝚒𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚗

Jude's POV:

You know that feeling when you see or know that your loved one is suffering but you can't help them?

Well that's how I feel right now. I can tell that Gabby is going through something, I can see it in her eyes. It's been like that for a while, these past couple of months I've watched her eyes lose the sparkle she always has when she's happy.

Now, I find her deep in her thoughts more often, on my birthday I watched her stare at a family that was seated next to us for a good 10 minutes. Her eyes were filled with what looked like jealousy and sadness. I tried to ask her if she was okay, but she said she was.

Lie.

I know when Gabs is lying to me, and the question she always fails to answer is "are you okay?" She always puts on a brave face for everyone and I've just been trying to show her that she doesn't have to do that with me, but it looks like she's not letting her guard down anytime soon. I honestly can't blame her, her mom has told me that Gabby had a difficult childhood, she didn't go into details because she said that Gabby should be the one to tell me that herself when she's ready, but all she asked me was to be patient with her and try to be there for her as much as I could.

Something else I've noticed about her is that she's more distant, she's there physically but she's not really there mentally. And the other day she asked me which kinds of deaths were the most painful. And it was mid conversation too, and her question did make me very worried about her. I just want to know if she's okay, but Gabs being Gabs she says she is, but I can tell she isn't.

Gabby had spent the night at my house last night, and I just dropped her off at work. She also asked me if I could come pick her up later, and I am more than happy to do so for her.

As I am driving back home, I have a bad feeling about today. I don't know why, and I try to ignore it?but the gut feeling just gets stronger to the point where I felt physically sick.

When I get home, I run upstairs to my room where I know my pills are, I open the left nightstand's drawer, it is also Gabby's side and she uses it when she spends the night. But normally that's where I keep all my medicine.

I open it and I see two unfamiliar things, a razor blade and a lighter.

They obviously don't belong to me, and the first person my mind goes to was Gabby. She's the only other person who uses this drawer.

I just stand there trying to grasp the situation and coming with all sorts of different theories in my head. I come up with a few ideas that could make sense, and the only thing I feel right now was guilt.

These past couple of months she has been leaving me clues and I can't believe that it took me this long to finally realize that she is struggling, and I just wish I could've helped her.

She is the the love of my life and the fact that she's been very miserable to the point where she started hurting herself and I didn't know, just makes me want to give the biggest hug ever. She doesn't deserve any of it, no one does.

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*

It's currently 12am and Gabby's shift was over 20 minutes ago, she hasn't texted me to come pick her up, and I have bad feeling about everything. I don't wait any longer and decide to drive to the café and make sure that everything is okay and that nothing bad happened.

When I get to the café, it's already locked. There isn't any sign of Gabby so I call her, but it goes to voicemail. At this point I'm starting to get very worried about her and the only thing I can think about is wether she's okay or not.

I call her five more times and she still doesn't answer and I start panicking even more now.

When I can't find her at the café, I decide to drive to her house. Her house is only 7 minutes away so maybe she wanted to walk home, and she couldn't let me know because her phone died. Deep down, I feel like that's probably not the case, but I hope it is.

As I'm driving to her house, I spot a familiar figure seated on the side of the road, as I get closer to the figure and I realize it's Gabby. I stop the car and immediately run over to where she was, she is crying a lot.

"Are you okay?" I ask her as I wrap my arms around her

She doesn't answer me, instead she pushes my arms off of her and her cries become louder and more painful.

I try to get her to talk but she doesn't.

The only thing she say is "I need to take a shower"

She looks very weak, both mentally and physically. The ride to her house is less than 5 minutes and it is very quiet. She doesn't say anything and I can tell she doesn't want me to either, so I don't.

As soon as we get to her house, she is very weak but she manages to hurry up to her room, and take a shower.

It is very obvious that something terrible happened to her, but I don't think she's going to tell me what happened, anytime soon. By the way she is acting right now, I can tell it ruined her.