𝙱𝚞𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚏𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝙾𝚏 𝙷𝚘𝚙𝚎~𝙹𝚞𝚍𝚎 𝙱𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚑𝚊𝚖

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚂𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚗

Gabriela's POV:

I managed to walk out of the Kai's house because he was very intoxicated, that he ended falling asleep on his couch. I just feel very numb. I don't know how to feel, I am confused about everything. Everything is blurry, I only have three minutes before I get home, but my body gives out.

I have no genuine energy left in me. I feel like I am going to pass out. All the crying I've done had exhausted me.

As I sit down by the side of the road, I just want to end my life. Nothing seems worth living for, I just want to end the pain.

Suddenly a car with flashing lights stops and I get scared thinking it is Kai. To my luck it isn't. It's Jude.

He runs over to me and wraps his arms around me. And I push them away from me.

What used to feel like my safe place, was now ruined by someone I thought I knew. The physical touch of a man now scared me, I felt uncomfortable but I couldn't tell him why.

"Are you okay?" He asks

I don't answer him, instead I just sob even more.

The only thing I am able to let out is "I need to take a shower"

Jude nods his head and helps me to his car, as I almost fall while trying to walk

As soon as I get to my house I weakly run upstairs where I immediately take a shower.

I felt very dirty, I want to get his touch off my body.

I knew that I'm not really erasing anything and that it still happened, but I just want to forget everything about tonight.

I now can't even bare to look myself in the mirror, because when I see my body all I can now think is 'You caused this' I change into a hoodie and sweatpants because I don't want to see any parts of my body. I will be reminded of his touch and I don't want to.

When I'm done getting ready, I walk out of my bathroom and I see that Jude fell asleep on the couch in my room and I can't help but think that he looks adorable.

As I watched him sleep peacefully, I can't help but ask myself 'Will he still want you after he finds out? Who would want someone's sloppy seconds?'

Those are the thoughts that are making my head spin too much. I can't fall asleep, so I take out my sleeping pills and it isn't long before I finally fall asleep.

2 hours later...

I am awaken from a nightmare, the worst one so far. In this nightmare I'm basically reliving everything, except everyone finds out and blames me. I hurry to the washroom and start throwing up, and I don't don't stop. I feel physically sick.

After a minute, I can hear movements coming from my room and I think that it's him coming back to get me so I grab the first thing I can see, a hair straightener.

I am ready to defend myself when I realise it is Jude who woke up. I forgot that he stayed the night, our eyes lock and I can tell how worried he is. I can see it in his beautiful dark brown eyes.

I just broke down into tears when I realized what I was doing. I was just now realizing just how much of my life he had just ruined. How traumatized I'd be for the rest of my life.