𝙱𝚞𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚏𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝙾𝚏 𝙷𝚘𝚙𝚎~𝙹𝚞𝚍𝚎 𝙱𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚑𝚊𝚖

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚢-𝚃𝚑𝚛𝚎𝚎

Gabriela's POV:

"There's no right way to feel carinha. I want you to know that." Mom says, as she strokes my hair.

It's been three months since Kai died, and I remember that for weeks after he passed, I was still sobbing hysterically. Not because I was sad that he died. I was more sad, that I was robbed of the joy I'd feel if Kai were to ever be found guilty for his actions. I may sound apathetic, but Kai doesn't deserve any empathy from me. Not after what he did.

I don't answer her, I instead just play with the furs on my pillow.

"It's okay to feel happy about his death. It's also okay to feel sad." She says gently, as she continues stroking my hair.

"Mom, what if I don't know how I feel?" I say as I adjust my position on my bed

"And that's okay. It's normal, and very understandable. I want you to know that everything you are feeling right now is valid." She says as she hugs me.

"I love you mom" I softly say

"I love you more carinha" She says as she kisses my forehead.

*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•

Have you ever felt the need to hide from everyone you loved when you were struggling? Like the thought of my loved ones seeing me at my lowest point scares me. And it's not even just my loved ones, it's anyone.

I feel like anyone who sees me at my lowest, will immediately think I'm very weak. I don't think I've ever admitted that to anyone out loud, and I don't think I ever will.

I'm probably overthinking it, but I can't help it. That's just how my brain works and I hate it.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Air France welcomes you to Lomé. The local time is 2:30pm. For your safety and the safety of those around you, please remain seated with your seat belt fastened and keep the aisle(s) clear until we are parked at the gate." A flight attendant announces.

I'm brought back to reality because of that, and I start getting my things ready.

I'm in Togo for the next few weeks for a humanitarian trip, and I decided to do one because I thought it would be good for me to take a break from my chaotic life, and just help people.

When the other volunteers and I arrive where we'll be staying, everyone welcomes us with open arms and they have our names written on big boards made out of wood. It's honestly such a good way to welcome us, I love it. I

immediately even get along with the kids in the village and they all instantly become my favourite people.

I go to bed with a smile on my face, because of the experiences I had today. It's only the first day, and I'm this happy. I can't wait for how the next few weeks will be like.

      *^*^*^*

"So how have you been finding Togo? You miss me yet?" Jude asks

"It's been amazing, I legit can't stop smiling. These people are so nice and welcoming. I might even move here, so it's safe to say I might not even miss you" I say teasingly