𝐀 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐒𝐄𝐄𝐌𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐏𝐋𝐈𝐓

hot

Kyle gawked at the potential act of violence that might be committed in his neighborhood. In a time like this, he needed to T.H.I.N.K.

T - Tell authorities about bad bad

Kyle shook Sprint Boner by the shoulder in desperation and concern. 

"OH MY GOD ZO JURNHAM IS GONNA- HE'S GONNA-" Kyle 🐱

"it's ok jeff has already gone through his villain arc by working with me a couple months ago so he won't die. Even if he gets shot in the head, he's too important to be gone forever. He'll show up in a doorway when we least expect it."

"OK" 

H - Hinder move

Kyle burst into the pizza and moved one of the duct tape chairs in front of bo. Now, he couldn't advance unless he moved it aside.

I - Identify (familiar person)

Kyle pointed his finger at Bo Burnham. 

"YOU'RE BO BUNAM?" Kyle asked 

The man with glasses and long brown hair smiled. He caressed a mr. hippo fridge magnet in his hand and nodded.

N - neutralize (kill)

Kyle pulled out a gun and shot Bo in the head. 

K - knowledge 

Kyle spazzed on the floor in realization that he would never be remembered and our reality is nothing but an accident of science and chemicals colliding which will soon be uninhabitable the more people go to disney land and eat mickey burgers from cows who release greenhouse gasses. 

"NO 🥵" Kyle cried in mental agony. 

Bo Burnham chuckled softly and pulled the bullet out of his head. 

"Heh. I see you've succumbed to the political side of Twitter. The corruption. The scandals. The thirst traps. The CG5 Wonderland fan art. You've seen it all, Kyler." Bo said, adjusting his quirky glasses. 

"No... I'm still.... the 3 percent.... of recoveries.." Kyle coughed as he laid on the ground. His face was encrusted with dirt and dust the millisecond he touched the tile. 

"For now. They all say that."

Bo Burnham reached over to the counter and grabbed his duster hat. Adjusting it on his head in a way my favorite character from a game would, he chuckled silly. 

"Dilfs dilfs dilfs everywhere. Everywhere you go, Kyle. You, being a man of the bible, deny any attraction to middle aged men with dad bods who are handy around the house and may be willing to cook a sweet dinner for you every once in a while. Oh but truth is, you know they're kinda cute. Doesn't that make you a sinner, Kyle?" Bo Burnham asked. 

"N-NO...." Kyle growled as he looked over at Spring Bonnie, who was standing there with his son being an absolute delight. 

"I'D N-NEVER... LIAR...."

Bo laughed. 

"Fool. But you know you would. If nobody was watching, not even God, and you were alone in a room with any attractive man who fits that bill..."

"I'D NEVER! GOD IS ALWAYS WATCHING." Kyle hissed in rebellion. 

"Hypothetically if he weren't. If Jesus never loved you, Kyle. If you weren't so bound to a silly piece of paper some old man wrote homophobic things on thousands of years ago, you'd let that man over there-"

"NOOOOOOOOOO" Kyle 😞

"Another idea. What if the world was getting hot? Would you sacrafice your Sunday mornings to drive less and help the environment? You wouldn't want to hurt God's green Earth, would you?"

Kyle felt a single tear leave his tear ducts as he took in the punches. Bo Burnham wandered over to the corner where his funny brown coat was hanging and giant metal hammer. 

"Do you think you're going to Heaven, Kyle?" Bo asked. "You know what you did to Oswald's cat last night."

"WHAT 👀🦴 T-THAT WAS FOR SURVIVAL I- I HAD NO F-FOOD IN THE HOUSE SURELY HE'D UNDERSTAND I- I'VE BEEN RAISING AN UNDERGROUND ORPHANAGE IN THE LOWER LEVEL OF MY HOUSE FOR YEARS SURELY I- I- I CAN BE FORGIVEN" Kyle said with shock. 

"whar🦇" Oswald exclaimed in the background. How could Kyle be the main character and betray him like this...

"It wasn't very justified of you." Bo cackled. 

Suddenly, Jeff emerged from behind the counter. He had more black eye bags under his eyeballs that were exaggerated with makeup and his hair was slicked over. His apron was still on, but now his clothes were suddenly completely black. 

"Did someone call for justice?" Jeffrey Pizzaman said seriously. 

"OH NO🥵" Kyle shouted. The rest of his 6 "friends" were visibly shaking like cartoons since none of them were morally correct on any compass including the children. 

"You monster, Kyle." Jeff seethed. "How could you be so... filthy? I always knew these streets were rotten, but nothing like you. That's why I clean them up during the night. Like an unseen force of judgment."

Bo smiled sexily and hiked his steampunk hammer over his shoulder. Jeff shook his head in disgust as he looked down at Kyle. 

"p-please.." Kyle pleaded on his knees and looked up at the sky. "All I w-wanted was a lousy letter or a call i hope you know i ripped all your pictures off the wall i love you slim we coulda been together 😖💔"

Kyle looked up in terror as Jeff stomped foward with his cape billowing behind him. 

Bo Burnham adjusted his funny glasses and used his little hammer of magnet to steal Kyle's credit card from his wallet. 

"Justice is for lunch." Jeff grimaced as he dropped a piano on Kyle using a string hanging from the ceiling. 

"NATURE I GUESS 😂" said the man playing the piano. IT WAS.... WILL WOOD@??@?@?!?

What happens next will shock you.