Demon Turned Lover [BxB]

Red as roses

       The mint notebook slept on my chest, a blue pen in between it, as I laid on my bed, restless. I had decided to journal away my feelings, and it seemed to help. I had voided myself of all the swamping emotions till I was empty, the small book becoming my cloaca. I couldn't possibly tell anyone else about this; so I had kneeled to the notebook, as if it were God in another form. I had asked the Lord for forgiveness, to guide me through this and grant it to become easier for me. All I craved to do, was retreat back to Heaven. I wanted to return to the simplicity of my life before; I missed the mundane routine of my previous days, the things I even dreaded doing.

        Taking my arm out from under the duvet, I went to put the mint notebook on the other blue pillow, but I captured sight of something. A rose bracelet, on my wrist. Kallista's rose bracelet. She had given it to me on the day of my egress, a few minutes before the airship took off. Short of breath, the red head told me she wanted to give me something that meant a lot to her, and that she would wait for me to come back to her—no matter how long it would take. My eyes wafted down each curve and spiral of the varnished red roses. I couldn't believe Kallista would consign her prized bracelet to me.

      She had told me no bracelet could ever mean as much as I did.

      It was beautiful, and fit for a beautiful woman like Kallista, not me.

      I didn't deserve this, or her love.

      Just when I thought I had cried to the fullest extent, other tears came out of their hiding spot. I took the bracelet off as the salty tears began moving down my face. I couldn't tarnish such a treasure with tears like my own.

      I didn't understand why I couldn't just fall in love with her. Kallista herself was a treasure: she was sweet as honey, caring as a mother, and gentle as a flower. Other men would move mountains and build cities out of precious stones for her yet, she loved someone who couldn't gift her anything but a flower—let alone, fall ignorantly for a demon who was nothing like her. Mammon was nothing like what I had hoped for my partner to be, though my core was still enticed by him.

       I brought the red bracelet close to my chest as I sobbed, holding it like it was her. I pushed it deeper into the skin guarding my core—hoping it would somehow tell my core to fall in love with her instead.

        It hurt me knowing that Kallista was back at home, thinking I would finally be able to verbalise my love for her once I came back. It hurt me knowing that Mikkel was awaiting my proposal and to be my best man. It hurt me knowing that Helena's child would have a disgrace of a Godfather.

        I wiped the tears that stung my cheeks harshly before discarding the light blue duvet from my heated body. The temperature of my body was growing abnormally, and the ill feeling in my stomach had metastasized all throughout my body. If I kept crying like this, I would become sick, and I didn't that need that right now.

         I opened the oyster door, switching on the shaver light before stumbling into the bathroom. A good bath could help calm me down. I sniffled as I sat down heavily on the white edge of the bathtub. I was never a good crier; once I started, I couldn't stop. My mother always told me that the oceans were just the tears of aqua angels. I never understood that, but I guess, I had now. I turned the tap to the warm water, enabling the tub to fill up. Had I thought of taking a bath earlier, my tears would have been enough to bathe in.

         I let my black joggers fall to my ankles as I moved the tap back to its original position and dragged my fingers through the lukewarm water. It felt just right on my fingers. I dipped my legs into the clear water, holding onto the convex steel edges as I lowered myself. The water had provided me with an instant calming effect. It entered through my pores, wrapping around my joints and relieving them of their tautness. I exhaled loudly as I let myself fall back. The dim lighting alongside the warm core-appealing water swashing over my skin, was enough to make me feel ten times better. I submerged myself further, until my head was completely under the water. But there was something I could do, that would make me feel a hundred times better. I shut my eyes, letting myself become consumed by the water, now a pool of transportation.