Kirk and Gray

My Heart And World Explode

KIRK

Fuck her.

Fuck him.

I'm leaning against the back wall of the med room, trying to steady myself and catch my breath.  My heart is racing, I'm panting like I've run a marathon,  and my eyes are full of tears.  I keep alternating blinking my eyes and squeezing them closed, but neither is working and I feel the tears start to run down my cheeks.  I sure as hell don't want anyone, especially Allie or Gray to see me crying so I turn and try to move deeper into the room.  I suck in a deep shaky breath, and I hear a quivery moan release on the exhale, shaking my head, as if that's going to get the vision out of my head and memory.  

Damnit.  It's freaking 1:30 in the morning and I'm hiding over here in the corner so I can try and figure out what I just saw.  If I really saw it, or is there a reasonable explanation for seeing Gray and Allie grinding against each other with her clothes all messed up, and lipstick on the side of his face and neck.  Though the twisted smirk she gave me certainly got its meaning across.

"I doubt it's what you think it is darlin.  Ask him, don't assume he fucked her, and don't for a minute believe what she tells you."  Dante's low, growly voice speaks softly from his bed in the corner of the room.

Looking over at him, I know that he just witnessed the exact same scene that I did.  How can he question what looks so glaringly obvious?  We both saw Allie walking out of one of the extra club bedrooms, pulling her shirt down and adjusting her leggings like she had just been pulling them on.  She then started applying her lipstick and fixing her messy, sexed up looking hair.  Following the bitch nurse was Gray, my Gray, his hair was also messy, his shirt looked stretched out of shape and pulled to one side.  But possibly the worst part was the lipstick smeared on his face and neck.  To be precise, the lipstick smeared across his lips, cheek and neck.  His expression looked hard, like he was deeply focused, and his focus was directly on Allie.  Catching my eye, Allie smiled and winked.

"Thanks Gray, I needed that, just like the old times baby, though I guess the old times weren't so long ago, were they?  I knew I could count on you to help me out, we've always been a great team, we're magic together baby."  She gave a throaty giggle, then ran her hand down his chest and leaned in to kiss the side of his face.  At that point I turned away, leaving my back to them, and I walked over to where to the side of Dantes bed.  Looking over at Dante, I shake my head, closing my eyes tightly so I can hopefully keep the tears in.  

"It looked pretty clear to me Dante.  I think that Allie finally got what she wanted, and I got my heart broken.  I'm sure I wasn't supposed to see that, or hell, maybe I was supposed to see them together.  Maybe this was Grays way of telling me he's done with me.  I'm sorry, I don't think I can stay in here another moment, I kind of feel like I'm going to faint or vomit.  I need to get out of here, I just heard Jen drive up, I'll go outside and update her and then send her your way.  Bye Dante, thank you for trying to help me, but there's no unseeing that little moment."  Grabbing my bag I cross the room as quickly and as quietly as I can, unfortunately I look back to see if Gray is still with Allie.  They've now moved down the hall a bit, she is pressed flat against the wall, her back flush to the wall, her arms are crossed over his shoulders as she casually strokes his neck with her fingers.  He has her boxed in against the wall, he's leaning into her, his hands against the wall on either side of her head.   I can't see his face and I can't hear what they're saying, but her expression looks passionate and intense.  This hurts too damn much.  I need to get out of here.

"Bye Dante, see you later, I'm getting Jen now."  I whisper softly, then I hear his low growl calling me as I run out the back door as quickly as I can.  Ordering my Uber as I head over to Jens car, I hang up then fill her in on the status of all the guys and in particular the growly one who's impatiently waiting for her.  She sees the tears on my face, and I'm sure I look freaked the hell out, she knows that something is up with me, but when she asks, I just give her the quick and dirty of what I just saw, I'm not up to rehashing the scene right now.

I pass the gate and one of the prospects waves to try and stop me.  Thankfully I get through the gate without him catching me.  Seeing my ride arrive further down the street,  I run as quickly as I can to the car that's going to get me the hell out of this nightmare.  Sitting in the car, I take a couple of deep breaths and make a quick plan.  If Gray tries to find me, he'll look for me at my apartment or at the hospital, so I decide that I'll splurge and check into a cheap hotel for a few nights.  Sleep, study a bit, and turn off my phone.  I can pick up a toothbrush and some cheap clothes at a Target, that way I won't have to go home until after my boards.  Who knows what I'll be walking into then, Allie and Gray a happy couple, or just a Gray who's done with me.

Looking at my phone, my finger hovering over the power button, I don't know what would be worse, seeing Gray call me, and me trying to ignore his call, or Gray not calling me at all.  It doesn't take long to know that the answer is Gray not calling me.  The thought of Gray no longer wanting me, not caring about me, no longer being mine.  I can't, I just can't think about this now.  I've got my tests in a few days, I have to concentrate on that, I can't think about losing Gray or missing him.  I'll deal with my heartbreak when I get back into town.

Closing my eyes, I try to shut down the visions of them in my mind, all I can think of is,

Fuck him, fuck her.