When the youngest Prince of Asgard arrives at Hogwarts as their newest professor, he is surprised to meet a fellow Asgardian. Y/n L/n is the Goddess of Havoc and the Defence Against the Dark Arts professor, widely known for pranks, games and general...
"Congratulations on being a professor for a whole four months!" You sang out, placing a cake in front of Loki at dinner.
"Thank you darling" he chuckled, looking up from his book. "Where did you get the cake?"
"I made it" you replied proudly. "Meaning it may not be entirely edible, but you never know."
The God chuckled again as you slid into your seat beside him and cut two slices for the pair of you.
"Enjoy, hopefully" you grinned, passing him a slice.
"This is really good love, thank you."
"I'm shocked it's edible" Snape called down the table.
"Oi! Leave me alone Snapeo, it's not like you can cook!"
"Actually I can."
"Damn it" you grumbled as the other professors laughed.
"Would anyone like a slice of cake? I doubt we could eat it all" Loki offered.
"I bet I could, but sure" you shrugged, grinning as Loki chuckled.
The two of you passed out cake to those who wanted it, chasing away the Weasley twins as they tried to steal it.
"Be gone you two" Loki said, waving them away with a laugh. "You're supposed to be heading off to bed."
"Boringggg" they groaned, sulking away.
"I'm still shocked this actually tastes... alright" Snape commented.
"Gee thanks Severus, way to boost my confidence" you groaned, the man patting you on the shoulder before gliding away.
"I like it dear" Madame Hooch smiled, patting your cheek. "And thank you for taking over my lesson yesterday you two, the kids loved it."
"It was quite fun" Loki answered. "Except for the multiple times I had to catch Colin after he fell off."
"That was funny though" you snickered.
"Dearie you shouldn't laugh at the misfortune of others" McGonagall sighed.
"Sorry, can't help it- Hey! Get back here you two!" You called out, running after the twins who had picked up the remains of the cake and run away with it.
"Bye!" They chorused, disappearing with a grin.
"Ugh, I think I pulled a muscle" you groaned. "This is why I don't run."
"You can't pull what you don't have" Loki smirked.
"I will cut off your hair greasy."
"I'll kill you if you do that."
"Yeah well so could anyone else, you're not special."
The others looked at you quizzically.
"It's not that hard to kill me! Anyone could do it! I mean horse could, a cat, a really ambitious duck, you get the idea. It's pretty easy."
"You're the Goddess of Havoc love."
"Yes Lokes, havoc. That basically just means I'm an annoying little shit to anyone and everyone" you grinned.
"Yes, we've noticed" Snape grumbled.
"If you don't like me at my worst, then you don't like me at my best" you replied in a dramatic voice.
"I don't like you at all" Loki smirked, teleporting over to you. "Now go to bed, it's late."
"No."
"You two argue like a married couple" Snape sighed, rubbing his temples.
"Um, no. I have five reasons why not to get married" you announced.
"Oh here we go" he groaned, turning to McGonagall. "She tells me all about this when she comes to bother me on my lunch break."
"One! If you get married, you have a higher chance of divorce!"
"Well that one's obvious" Flitwick interjected.
"Two! Marriage is an expensive way of telling everyone you were already together!"
"Marriage is a beautiful ceremony where two people are brought together as one for the rest of their glorious lives" Trewlawney explained.
"Sure. Three! You'll find out your hot wheel collection just doesn't go with the house, which is a complete bummer if I might add. Four! It's only til death so is part anyway, which kinda sucks for those who believe in the after life, but whatever. And five! You'll have metal on your finger all the time which means there is a way higher chance of you getting struck by lightening" you finished proudly. "You're welcome, I have enlightened you."
"You have commitment issues."
"I do" you smiled sarcastically. "There is an 89% chance that someone very close to you will betray, ultimately leading to you being stabbed in the back, figuratively or literally, you choose."
"You just made that statistic up, didn't you?" Professor Sprout questioned.
"Of course not! I would never lie."
"I am the God of Mischief and Lies darling, and that was most definitely a lie" Loki commented. "Plus I can read minds, which helps."
"Fine, I just don't trust people cause they're weird."
"Fair enough."
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GUYS GUYS I BOUGHT A BLAZER CHECK IT OUT (Had to blur out my face for obvious safety reasons, but I just felt really cool in these pics)
Exhibit A:
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