if only you knew | lee heeseung

chapter five

heeseung pov

everything was fine before the guys had started to ask questions. i should've quickly answered them before y/n had the chance to.

i sigh as i look at her beside me. she looks so dead and that's not good. she might make it look like i'm forcing us to look good.

some say i'm harsh to her but i'm just treating her the way she should be treated. she gets everything handed down to her so easily that no one really notices. but i did.

there are many reasons why i'm bothered by her. one of them being that she doesn't commit to anything.

one of those things being the fact that she ignored one of my requests.

she forgot.

she forgot what? you might ask.

friday during lunch, i had asked her to come to my house after school and she had even nodded her head at me. but she's so far in her head that she completely stood me up.

i wanted to see how long it would take her to realize. but she never did and i'm going to make her pay for it.

y/n pov

"you can just leave me at the entrance" i tell him as we approach the infirmary's door.

"i'll stay with you" he says.

"why? you know you don't have to"

"are you saying you don't want me to be with you?" he looks at me.

"it's... whatever, i don't mind" i scratch the side of my face.

what is his problem? really.

"i'll wake you up when it's time to go back, go to sleep. hurry" he pushes me lightly towards one of the beds in there.

"o-okay" i say a little confused but head towards the bed anyway. i tuck myself under and drift off to sleep soon after.

heeseung pov

i hate the way she looks so peaceful when she sleeps. as if she had no problems in life or as if she didn't cause any problems to others at all.

why is she even so tired? what is she overthinking about?

i put my chin on my propped arm above my knee and stared at her.

why did she agree to fake date me so easily? it's not like the secret i know isn't already obvious. that being that she got into this school because of her dad.

she lives so carefree. unlike me. i had to work hard to get here with a scholarship. i knew i had to make my mom proud after my father's departure from our lives'. i tried my hardest to get somewhere without the use of money, the money my mom also worked hard to get.

unfortunately, everything changed when my mom married a jerk. the only good thing that jerk has is money. i'm sure my mom didn't marry him for his money but rather love, somehow. i will always support her but not him. he isn't my father and he never will be.

he wants me to be just like him and i hate that. i want to be my own person and get to my dreams with my own hard work.

if i get to where i want to be through connections, would it really be worth it?

and the fact that y/n doesn't even seem to acknowledge that others would die to be in her spot with much harder work just angers me. this school is known for its students making it far and having a successful future. and it's true, i've seen it happen.

i flinch as y/n stirs on the bed.

"... mom... where are you?" she mumbles while frowning as she dreams.